Evoke

Chapter Five

Mystic Falls
August 20th, 1864

Kenneth and I had been invited to have dinner with my father and brother this evening. A young woman, who was the daughter of a friend of my father's in Atlanta, had come to stay as she had lost her family in the recent fires. Father said that Stefan had already met her. Damon was still out fighting in the war (which I was very against him doing - I couldn't bare the idea of him going to war and losing his life) and wasn't due home for another week yet. So Kenneth and I were to go over and make her feel as welcome as possible.
So we both dressed up to the nines and climbed into the carriage to head to the Salvatore estate.
"Nella, darling, are you alright?" Kenneth asked me as our carriage rolled towards Veritas.
"Hm? Oh, yes, I'm fine," I replied distractedly, looking out of the window.
"Only you've been ignoring me all day," Kenneth commented, reaching over to take my hand. "That's not like you at all."
I tore my gaze from the outside and turned to him. He looked worried and guilt started to creep up inside me. How could I tell him that I hadn't spoken to him all day because I had kissed his best friend yesterday evening?
"Not intentionally, Ken," I said. "I've a lot on my mind today."
"I can see that," Kenneth noted. "Do you want to talk?"
This is why, despite my not loving him, I was OK with being married to Kenneth. He cared for me in a way that no one else did and because of that, I felt incredibly comfortable with him - so comfortable that I would tell him almost anything. The only thing I wouldn't talk to him about would be the thing that is bothering me at the moment - Harry.
"Thank you," I said sincerely. "But we're nearly at Veritas and I'm afraid that if I start, I'll never stop."
Kenneth smiled. "Afterwards, then."
I nodded in agreement, knowing that we most likely wouldn't have time to talk. "Afterwards."
He leant over and kissed my cheek. "Whatever it is, Nella, I doubt it's as big of an issue as you believe it to be. Promise me you'll enjoy this evening?"
"I promise," I smiled at Kenneth. He can be so sweet sometimes, which only makes my guilt worse.
"What do you suppose this girl will be like?" Kenneth asked, squeezing my hand as we moved on.
"From what Father told me today, she's attracted a lot of attention from Stefan, so I don't doubt that she's pretty," I said. "But after that, I haven't a clue."
"I doubt she's prettier than you," Kenneth said. I smiled a little, but the heart-wrenching guilt made me turn away. Why did I have to fall for someone who wasn't my husband?
"We'll see," I responded as we pulled into the drive of my family home. When we stopped, Kenneth climbed out, and waited with his hand extended so he could help me. We walked up to the entrance of the house, Kenneth's hand still in mine, where we were greeted by my father.
"Hello, sweetheart," Father said, smiling at me. I let go of Kenneth and embraced my father.
"Hello, Father."
He let go of me and turned to Kenneth, shaking his hand. "I'm glad you are both here. Come in."
We followed Father inside and into the lounge, where Stefan stood. I beamed at my younger brother and immediately hugged him. Even though we never go more than a few days without seeing each other, I miss him so much. And with Damon gone at the moment, I felt more attached to Stefan than ever.
When I moved away from Stefan, he and Kenneth went to greet, but they were interrupted by a young, slightly olive-skinned, dark haired woman walking into the room. I noticed the way Stefan looked at her and the way Father looked so proud.
"Sorry I'm late," The young woman said, smiling at father, before turning to face me. "My name is Katherine. It's lovely to meet you."
I smiled back at her. "Nella. I'm so sorry about your family, Katherine."
She smiled bravely. "I'm just grateful your father has let me come to stay in such a wonderful place."
I nodded slightly. I liked her. She seemed very kind and her manners were wonderful. Not to mention that I was right - she was very pretty. Katherine then turned to Kenneth and they introduced themselves, before Father announced that dinner won't be for another hour and asked if Kenneth and Stefan would come with him.
They both accepted and left, leaving Katherine and I on our own.
"I have to apologise for my father now," I said, taking a seat. "If anything he does offends or upsets you, just remember that he's not the most compassionate of people."
Katherine shook her head as she sat down herself. "No, your father has been nothing but wonderful to me today."
"Well, that's good. I assume my brother's been hospitable as well?"
"Very," Katherine smiled. "He's such a kind young man."
"I should hope so," I commented. "I can't imagine what you must be going through."
"It gets easier with each passing day," Katherine told me. "I was lucky enough not to lose everyone - my handmaiden Emily came with me."
"You're not alone, then."
"Not at all," Katherine agreed. "Stefan has been such lovely company today."
"Wait until my other brother Damon comes home - you'll realise he's not so lovely," I commented jokingly and Katherine smiled.
"Damon is in the army, is he not?"
"Mmm. His leave begins next week - it will be so nice to have him home," I said.
"You care for your brothers," Katherine noted. "Stefan could hardly stop telling me about you. He swore we would get along like sisters."
"Did he? Well, I hope I can provide you with some sort of comfort," I told her sincerely. "You've had to go through so much at such a young age - if there is anything you ever need, my home is always open to you."
A surprised look flickered across her face for only a moment - I would have missed it if I wasn't studying her so intently. "Thank you, Nella."
"It's my pleasure, Katherine," I replied. "Now, tell me what your life was like in Atlanta."

"Thank you again for dinner," I said, hugging my father tightly.
"You're always welcome, Nella," Father said, kissing my cheek. "And you, Kenneth, son."
"Thank you, Mr Salvatore," Kenneth nodded, shaking father's hand. I turned to Stefan and hugged him tightly.
"Are you going to the opera on Sunday?" I questioned.
"Of course," Stefan said. "Are you?"
"Naturally," I responded. "I'll see you then. Don't have too much fun without me."
"I'll try," Stefan grinned and I laughed, holding his face for a moment before moving to Katherine.
"It was lovely to meet you, Nella," She said, holding out her hand for me to shake. But I disregarded it and pulled her into a hug.
"Don't forget what I said before dinner, Katherine," I murmured. "It was wonderful to meet you too."
"Thank you," Katherine said sincierly when we parted. "It's so very kind of you."
"Everyone needs kindness, Katherine. And everyone deserves it," I told her.
"Come on, Nella, love. Stop preaching to the poor girl," Kenneth said, putting his hand on my back and guiding me away from my family and Katherine.
"I wasn't preaching," I muttered, before looking over my shoulder and waving goodbye. When Kenneth and I were in our carriage, he turned to me expectantly.
"So," He began, and I flinched a little. He hadn't forgotten about my ignoring him, then. "What's wrong, Nella?"
"I'm worried for Damon," I admitted. That was true - I hadn't stopped worrying for my brother since he left. But it wasn't the reason I was ignoring Kenneth.
"Of course you are," Kenneth sighed, hugging me a little awkwardly in the small space that we were in. "I'm sure he will be fine."
"I hope so," I murmured. "It's just so difficult. Reports are coming back all the time about people getting killed and each time I get more and more scared that it's going to be Damon's name they're announcing and mourning."
I managed to work into my lie, building it up and making it more believable so Kenneth didn't find out about my kissing Harry. It was an utter accident - we had both gone to the apothecary yesterday and bumped into each other there. Janelle had gone to visit her family, whom lived about a hundred miles away, so he was on his own. Naturally, we began talking and by the time we'd realised that our conversations had lead us into the middle of the woods, the sun was starting to set. And I don't like being in the woods in the dark.
So Harry took my hand and told me that he would rather die than let anything happen to me. And I couldn't help myself. I had to kiss him. Maybe it was the flecked moonlight on his face or the way his vow was so sincere, I couldn't resist him. I knew as soon as our lips met it was wrong - we're both married! - but I can't say I regret actually kissing him.
I'd wanted to for the longest time, and now that I had, I wanted to do it again. But the rational side of my brain kept reminding me all of the ways that it was utterly wrong and irresponsible to do so.
So I told Harry that it couldn't happen again and left, despite the fact that I could feel the fear creeping inside me. I just couldn't be around him any longer, because if I was, I would have done something I'd regret forever.
When I came home, Kenneth wasn't there and I was glad - he was working late at the town hall with my father, designing a bridge to go across the river. I didn't want to have to make up an excuse for why I was home so late if I had only been to the apothecary. I hardly spoke to him when he came home and when we woke up the next day, I subconsciously managed to avoid talking to him until we went to Veritas.
"I'm sure Damon will be fine," Kenneth repeated, holding my shoulders and looking at me dead in the eye. "He comes home next Wednesday - maybe you could plan him a welcome home party?"
I laughed a little. "Don't try and distract me from it, Ken. I'm not planning a party, he'll hate it."
"But you'll love it," Kenneth responded. "I don't want to see my wife so sad."
I smiled at Kenneth, trying to disguise my utter guilt and pain. He didn't deserve me. He deserved someone who actually loved him - not someone who loved his best friend.
"Thank you, Ken," I said. "You're too lovely to me."
"It is only a mirror of your loveliness, Nella," Kenneth said. "I'm a lucky man to have you."
I turned away from his gaze. It was making me tear up - not only was I already feeling bad about kissing Harry, but now Kenneth sees it fit to turn on his 'I'm the best husband in the world' charm and make my guilt double.
I managed to compose myself after a moment, reminding myself that he is my husband and a very lovely one at that. I turned back to him and softly kissed his lips, pushing away my memory of Harry's lips and replacing it with Kenneth.
"I'm the lucky one, darling," I said. And it was true. I was incredibly lucky to have such a wonderfully kind and caring husband. I shouldn't and I couldn't throw it all away because of someone else that I cannot have.