Tales from the Multiverse

Unless - Dan Howell

*A/N: Y/F/F = your favourite film*

One day you're lying on your bed, eating chocolates and scrolling Tumblr (the Internet life is a fabulous one), when your phone rings loudly.

"Hello!" you answer loudly through a mouthful of sweets.

"Good god, what have you got in your mouth that's making you talk like that?!" your mate Dan exclaims, laughing.

You grin and reply cheekily, "A penis, I'm in the middle of a blowie. Can we hurry this up?"

Dan snorts with laughter and surprise, making the phone crackle with feedback. "Well! That was not the answer I was expecting!"

You swallow your chocolate and run your tongue over your teeth and gums, making sure you get it all. "You kind of walked into it," you say, smirking. "I just reblogged a gif of you and Phil. In case you were wondering."

"I'm pretty sure I would've died if you hadn't told me. So thanks," Dan responds sarcastically.

"It was very sexual," you add without thinking. Your mouth kind of loses its filter whenever you're halfway focused on something.

"Oh, really? You're one of THOSE blogs, then," Dan teases you. You can just imagine the superior look on his face. "I'm guessing you ship Phan?"

"Oi! Don't diss the fandom blogs!" you reprimand, clicking on another Fall Out Boy photoset. "It's okay, baby, he didn't mean it," you croon to your laptop. "And maybe I ship Phan. Maybe I don't. I prefer to keep my shipping preferences shrouded in deep anonymity."

Dan chuckles again. "Wow, Y/N, just when I think I've figured you out, you throw me for another loop. You are truly mysterious."

"I am an enigma," you declare in a deep, dramatic voice. "Anyways, it was a gif of him walking into you from behind. You fall down and your pants drop halfway to your knees. Even you'd have to admit it looks like a bumming in the making." You tilt your head, examining a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch. "The longer you look at it the sexier it gets."

"Wow, you really reblogged that?" Dan asks incredulously. "That's shit. I can't believe you."

You frown even though he can't see you. "It's not as though I'm one of those obsessive Phan shippers that reblog lookalike porn or write Phan smut. I just think it's funny. No need to get testy." You love Dan to pieces but he could be a sassy bitch sometimes.

"I'm just so sick of crazy fans. If they're not going way overboard with the ship, they're spamming me with tweets about Maltesers and Delia Smith and llamas and... God, it's horrendous sometimes." His voice is filled with something very near revulsion.

You sit up and frown deeper. "They're your Danosaurs. Don't talk about them like they're Jedward fans."

Dan sighs. "I know. I love them all, I really do. It just... It gets old sometimes." There's a short silence on his end and then he speaks again, this time in a much perkier tone. "Fancy a Ribena?"

"Only if we can get Pop Rocks," you reply quickly, glad to be off the touchy subject.

"Way ahead of you. You decent?" he asks.

You furrow your eyebrows and look down at your apparel. Trackies and a severely wrinkled t-shirt you picked up off your floor that morning. "Um... Not to go out in public."

"Well, it's not as if I'm bringing the whole of London with me," Dan scoffs.

"What are you on about?" you demand, confused.

Abruptly, a sharp rap comes from your window, making you scream ("Shit the bed!") and jump about ten metres into the air. Dan's uproarious laughter comes faintly from your mobile, which you'd dropped, but the sound echoes weirdly. You pick up your mobile and edge over to the window ninja-style.

"Hey, Dan, if I scream again, call 999, okay?" you instruct him. "I think there might be a rapist at my window."

Without further ado, you toss aside the curtain, revealing Dan. He's almost in tears from laughing so hard.

"Daniel Howell!" you shout indignantly. "You scared the ever-living hell out of me!"

Dan smiles at you toothily, batting his eyes innocently. "Could be worse. Could be raining," he quips, quoting a movie you love watching together. "Have I forfeited my right to come in?"

You cross your arms and glare at him through the glass. "You almost made me jizz myself, Dan!"

"That is a very valid point in your favour, BUT..." He holds up a plastic sack. "I come bearing Ribena, Pop Rocks, and a film."

You narrow your eyes and tap your chin thoughtfully. "What film?"

"Y/F/F, what else?"

Damn, he knows your weakness. You make a little noise of disgust and complain, "Well now I HAVE to let you in." You hang up on the call and open your window. He passes through the sack with the stuff in it and clambers through the small opening, falling clumsily to your bedroom floor. You stick your tongue out at him. "That's what you get, y' wanker!" you taunt him victoriously.

He gives you the puppy-dog face but you just roll your eyes. "Get up, idiot," you tell him. You put the DVD into your laptop and then skip to the kitchen to make some popcorn. By the time you return, Dan has already made a nest of pillows on your bed and is laying in it comfortably, waiting for you to come start the film. You smack him over the head with a cushion, just for funsies, and hit the play button.

You've both seen the film so many times that you could quote every line if you wanted to, but you settle for just quoting your favourites and throwing popcorn, talking, waging thumb wars, etcetera, the rest of the time.

The credits roll and Dan glances at the clock. The smile drops from his face. "Guess I should get going, then..." he says. The note of disappointment in his words is evident.

You look at him shyly from the corner of your eye. "Yeah... I guess so," you mumble. You don't know why you suddenly feel so bashful. It's just Dan... Right?

He gathers his stuff and heads for the window. He's got one leg out when you tentatively suggest:

"Unless... Unless you want to stay?"

He looks at you and blinks a few times, then slowly a grin curves up the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah. Okay."