This Can't Be The End: OUAT Captain Swan

I'm Sorry

A/N: This chapter was really difficult, for different reasons than the first. For one thing, I had to do a lot of research! For real, I have a notebook with a full page written up on what happened to Killian when he stabbed himself. I'm not a doctor, not even close, so any mistakes on the technical side are all mine. I do think I got pretty close, though, to describing a likely situation. Like I said- lots of research. Lyrics are from Down by Blink 182

This can't be the end-

Tidal waves they rip right through me

Tears from eyes worn cold and sad

Pick me up now, I need you so bad

Machines beeped as vitals were monitored throughout the procedure. Dr. Whale wiped above his brow as he gave instructions to a young nurse to his left, his hands still at the incision on Killian's side where a tube was inserted, blood draining from it at a rapid rate. He shook his head- it was too much blood- and told another nurse that the patient would in fact need a blood transfusion- fast. He knew it was possible Killian would need one when he saw the blood everywhere when the EMT's brought him in initially. His condition was so critical, however, that they needed to begin draining the blood gathering in his chest cavity immediately. Whale remembered learning about this in med school- even though, now that he thought about it, he supposed he never truly attended given the curse- and reminded himself that in this situation, death wasn't so farfetched. Killian could hardly breathe when he was brought in- he'd had a lung collapse and it was only a matter of time before his body gave out, especially considering the massive amount of blood he'd already lost, and continued to lose. Whale was infinitely grateful he hadn't been drinking today- that would have been a disaster, trying to save a man in this condition drunk. He just kept thinking one thing over and over again- the look on Emma's face when they'd arrived. She'd been so terrified, covered in blood and tears. If he didn't save this man, he wasn't sure he'd be able to face her. He needed Killian to pull through, and he needed to focus.

-+-

Emma paced the waiting room, barely holding it together. Snow came shortly after Emma had arrived with the ambulance- someone must have called her. Emma was relieved she wouldn't have to face this alone.

"He'll be alright, sweetheart," she said.

"You don't know that. You didn't see him." Emma fought tears yet again as an image of Killian flashed in her mind. She looked down and grimaced at her dark red hands and splotched t shirt and jeans. She'd tried to wash the blood off at one point but gave up- it came off her skin mostly, but there was still a tint to her hands that she couldn't get rid of. It was like when you write on yourself with sharpie, and then try to wash it off- it leaves traces that stay behind for a few washes. It stood as a reminder now, of how close she was to losing him. Of how close she still was.

"Honey, maybe it's time we talked about this," Snow said.

"What do you mean, we've talked about it. He stabbed himself. End of story," Emma said bitterly, her voice cracking.

"Not about that, Emma. About the two of you- about the kiss." Emma rolled her eyes and looked at her mother.

"You're kidding right? He could be dying and you want to talk about the kiss?" Emma fought the urge to scream, though her voice was significantly louder as she spoke. It seemed like she was the only one worried about his well being.