So last night I kissed Harry, or Harry kissed me. No matter which way I put it, it's still pretty bad. I had done the one thing I said I wasn't going to do, I gave in to those dark eyes and shaggy hair. The band could possible breakup because of this, I may have just destroyed a 10 year friendship. What kind of person am I? A selfish one that's what. All because I let loose and got drunk one freaking night. This is what happens. I have no idea what I'm going to tell Niall, do I tell him I kissed him or keep it a secret so I won't breakup the band and ruin a friendship? These are the thoughts and questions running through my mind at 12 in the afternoon, in bed, watching Greys Anatomy on Netflix along with Advil and lots of water. Hangover cure 101. Apparently Harry escaped sometime during the night or early morning. That I am grateful for. I don't know how I'm going to face him when I made out with him or how I'm going to face Niall. I guess that's why I'm watching Greys so I can see that I'm not the only one with a pathetic love life. Newsflash you should of chose Alex, Izzy! Damn. After four more episodes I finally decide to get up. I hop in the shower and brush my teeth, I pull on some black and white Nike sweatpants and a pair of black Uggs. I grab a sweatshirt on my way out the door and my car keys, I also pull on my black oversized Celine sunglasses. I hop in the elevator and make my way to the lobby. I yell bye to the lobby man, Norman we've always been friends since I moved here. I make my way out of the building into a swarm of paparazzi. "Taylor! Why were you with Harry Styles last night?" I cover my face with my hand and make my way to my car. I can't believe I could be so stupid, why on earth did I think it would be a good idea to hangout with Harry? Why on earth did I think it would be a good idea to kiss Harry? Gosh I'm so screwed, Niall would have to be living under a rock to not have heard about me and Harry. Maybe I should just go ahead and talk to Niall and get it over with. The longer I wait the more mad he is going to get. But I am not under any circumstances talking to Harry, possibly ever again. That would be better, just move to a different continent where I'll never have to see him again and go through that torture. I finally make it to my car and start it up, I pull out towards Niall's place. I keep giving myself pep talks on the way over, which consists of me telling myself to not be a pansy and get my ass over there to talk to him. I'm also contemplating in my mind, would Africa or Europe be a better place to live? I roll my eyes "shut up Taylor" I tell myself. My mind will never shut up.
Okay, I've made it to Niall's apartment and I'm standing outside his door giving myself another pep talk. I finally just take a deep breath and knock. A few moments pass and Niall opens the door, his expression changes from neutral to pissed off in a matter of seconds. I'm standing here wishing I could be invisible.
"You have a lot of damn nerve knocking on my door today." Niall spits out. I cringe.
"Look, you have every right to hate me and not want to listen to anything I have to say, but please just let me explain." I ask.
"Fine, come in." Niall says with such enthusiasm.
I walk into his house and sit on the desk chair, which is pulled out in front of his computer. His computer screen is on Daily Mail and there is a picture of me and Harry from last night coming out of the bar, and a picture of us walking into my apartment building. I cringe visibly and look over at Niall, "so I guess you want to explain that? Or is there something else I should know?" Niall asks with a raised brow. Damnit!I'm in deep shit, I think to myself.
"It is and it's not what it looks like." I scramble out.
"Oh! Really? It looks like you and my best friend are drunk off your minds walking into your apartment building very close together." He says with a tone that sounds a bit to cheerful.
"Okay yes, that's true. But I was upset and the only one I thought to call was Harry because he doesn't judge you when you're pissed off and emotional, because he gets it. He's doesn't act perfect all the damn time like he doesn't do anything wrong." Don't get emotional Taylor, don't get emotional. I silently beg myself. Niall rolls his eyes.
"I guess that means I act perfect all the time, huh? And you can't be yourself around me, is that it? Because damn, Taylor. I'm so sick and tired of you accusing me of being like that! I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be." His face is getting redder by the second.
"I never accuse you of being like that!" I say in a high pitched voice.
"No! That's right, you just keep all your thoughts to your damn self so I have to sit around and guess what you're thinking!" Niall shoots back at me.
"Maybe I'd tell what I was thinking if you actually cared!" I scream back at him.
"You know what Taylor, if I don't give two shits about you then go see Harry, if you really think he cares one little bit about you. If you believe Harry is any better than me then go, please do. He can't stick with one girl for a week, and he certainly doesn't give a crap about anyone else's feelings but his own." Niall spits back to me. This time I roll my eyes.
"You know what, maybe I will. I have a hard time believing any of that, because he certainly didn't seem like that last night. He took me out, listened to me talk about my feelings, put his input in and helped me forget all about it! So much that we made out right on my couch, and I didn't think abut you once." I smirk at him, but then realized what I said after I see the hurt look on his face. Shit, shit, shit! Gosh how could I say that?
Niall looks at me, "you know what Taylor, I think it's time for you to leave. This discussion is over and so is our relationship. Have a good life with Harry." I don't even feel like arguing back so I pick myself up from the chair and walk out the door.
I climb into my Range Rover and start back to my building. On the way over all I can think about is the hurt look on Niall's face and Mine and Harry's kiss. I can't deny, it was amazing. You know the only good that can come of this is a song, and I have one brewing in my mind right now.
I hurry into my room and shut the door and lock it. I grab my notebook and jump in my bed and start writing.
TAYLORS SONG:
L
ong handwritten note, deep in your pocket
Words, how little they mean, when you're a little too late
I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket
Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait
We had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
In dreams, I meet you in warm conversation
We both wake in lonely beds in different cities
And time, is taking its sweet time erasing you
And you've got your demons, and darling they all look like me
'Cause we had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back
A beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic, beautiful tragic, beautiful
What we had, a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
We had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair.
END OF SONG!
I close my notebook and pull the covers over my head, and sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Perfect
Fanfiction"I might never be your night in shining armor, I might never be the one you take home to mother, I might never be the hand you put your heart in, but I can be the one, be the one tonight"
