Caged • Robbie Kay/Peter Pan •

Chapter Thirty-Seven

•Peter•

I won't ever forget the way she looked, lying in my bed, the subtle look of concern still evident on her face even while she slept. She shivered, her knees pulled up to her chest and her blonde hair strewn across the pillow like a mess of golden leaves.

I drew myself out of bed carefully, removing the blanket that I had so greedily wrapped myself in and laying it on her gentle figure. "Oh how you'll be the death of me, darling." I whispered, before placing a kiss on her temple.

I left the tent without a sound and walked down to the beach, listening to the crickets and frogs as they sang their nightly song.

The beach was my serenity. Something about looking out into the never ending waves and sky, made me feel small in a place where I was a ruler; a king of sorts.

I sat in the sand, staring deeply into the  rippling distorted reflection of the moon on the dark waters. The wind was like ice, but I didn't mind.

I thought of many things as I sat on the beach. I thought of Meadow, and how I knew I wouldn't stay mad at her for long. It was hardly her fault, when I had not yet given her a reason to trust me. I was better with her. It's not that she had changed me, but she brought out things in me that were buried so deeply beneath my beastly nature, that I hadn't known they existed.

I thought of Chase and whether I could trust him. I hadn't spoken to him since I discovered him, but maybe silence was better for us. I felt like a fool for not knowing sooner, but not even I know everything, despite what the boys said about me. But perhaps I could've known if I had been more observant.

After I had done my thinking, I visited Meadow's room. It was dark; lifeless without her. I ran my hand along her dust covered dresser, an array of photos covering its surface. The pictures were of her and her family and friends. Her smile was brighter than I had ever seen it and there was a glowing in her cheeks and a light in her eyes that I had yet to give her and suddenly, my heart broke with a realization that I could never give her a light like this.

I glanced about her bed and the guitar in the far right corner, a pale nostalgia blanketing the whole room in her absence. She has laughed here and cried here and lived here and now there was nothing but a phantom of what she used to be.

I searched her dresser for something to keep her warm in the oncoming cold weather of Neverland and found a large knit sweater. I was hesitant, because I knew that even something as small as a sweater could bring back memories of home. Was I selfish for wanting her to forget how happy she'd been before me? Yes.

I left, feeling heavy with realization though I tried to tell myself that things would get better in Neverland and there she's be happier than she was when she was at home. I knew where she belonged, and I knew where I belonged and that was the pain of it all.

I had returned to her as the sun was rising and placed the folded sweater beside her, writing a quick note on parchment and leaving once again to be alone with my thoughts.

Now, I trudged through the forest and upon hearing voices, I stopped to listen.

"Have you gotten any closer with him to ask about leaving?"

Chase.

"I don't know, Chase. It'll kill him when he finds out I want to leave."

That was her voice, but I wished the words weren't hers. I felt a stinging down in my chest that did not go away.

"Meadow, if he loves you enough, he'll do what's best for you. This island is no place for us. Maybe it is for Owen and for Caspar, but you and I both know we're different from them." Chase explained. It felt wrong to listen, but I wouldn't give up my hiding place yet.