...She was spinning in circles. With her hands outstretched on either side of her, like she was reaching out for something, something important, something with purpose that was worth reaching out for. Her head was pointed towards the crystal clear sky, that had millions of stars sprayed across itself.She knew that each star holds a different opportunity for her. But she didn't care, at least not at that specific moment. All she cared about right then and there was her freedom. So her eyes stayed closed, leaving her with her wild imagination, the only thing she unconditionally and undeniably adored.
There was definitely something devine about her. I always knew there was. It might have been her laugh, so melodic, just like Christmas bells. Maybe it was the way her tar black curls fell around her face, while she was spinning. Maybe it was her appearance so graceful and peaceful. Or maybe it was everything about this girl who had nothing.
She stopped spinning. Just like that. And just like that her smile disappeared, her laugh stopped, her face and body lost the free stance they had, not more than a few moments ago. It was like she had no choise, no way out, nothing she could have done to escape this. So she did the thing she knew how to do the best. Washing everything, leaving nothing. Draining every single emotion, leaving herself with only hers stoned face, she looked at me.
And i can write useless sentences, i can tell stories, i can even paint pictures, but i could never capture that moment, the way she was looking at me with such calmness. Just like the weather when it's preparing for the big storm to come out. It did come out. Her once calm face, was a total mess now. Hurt, betrayal, guilt, sadness, acceptance, a little happiness... only left. Not enough to unwind her visions, that the wished upon every night, while she was falling asleep. But it was enough to put a sad excuse of a smile on her face, enough to turn around and start walking away from me, enough to stop, enough to bend on her knees on the sidewalk, to stretch her hand upon a pile of beautiful red roses, to grab one by its tree and tear it off the ground, not caring about its thorns and the damage that can be done by them.
Standing up, she put the rose into her other hand. While she examined the little fresh cuts on her hand,that were in complete contradiction with her pale skin, drops of dark red hot blood, rolled on her hand. One small drop started rolling among the flowers petals, stopping at the very center of the rose.
The other ones passed trough her hand, only to fall on the ground. She continued going down the lonely road, that was once her only hope. Only this time she carried the thorn rose with her.
"Catch!" she said, the words slowly leaving her mouth, but the sensation of the movement of her lips, didn't quite let me understand what she was saying. And the rose was thrown at me. Acting on instinct, of course, I caught it, leaving my hands stained with blood.
She smiled at me, a real smile this time. As real as the way her eyes shined, like little emeralds, as real as her stretched lips from side to side, as her dimples that were forming on her face. Nodding her head towards the open road, she looked up at me.
"Come" she said. " Take a walk on the wild side... with me".
She always said that she lived in a world filled with all of her dark fantasies. She believed that she could become the person she wanted to be only if she's free. And the freedom this world could provide her wasn't enough for her. She had a bigger view of this world, then anyone i've ever known. She believed in the best, and in the worst. Sometimes she made wrong turns, she had ups and downs, but that never stopped her. Even at her worst, she hoped that something good will come. So she never failed to wait for it. She believed that people can make theirselfs happy, she believed that she could make herself happy.So she poured her heart into every little thing she ever did, never trying to spare it. She believed in starting over, believed that this life is a one way ticket to a better life, her life, the live she desired. Maybe that's why she lived her life the way she did. She was a mystery. She was charismatic, unusual, uncontrollable, spontaneous, brave, wild, she was everything, she could have been everything. But the only thing she wanted was to live fast, die young, to be wild and have fun.
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