Winter

I'm Sorry Blake

"If I could give you one thing in this life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you see how special you truly are."

-Unknown.

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"I... I'm sorry Blake....."
I mumbled.
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I looked up at the light blue-grey sky and smiled. All of the colors of winter finally showing. Snow just started falling a few days ago and the air was just getting cold enough that ice and frost covered the roads and not many people got out.

I let the thin snow fall onto my face; cold, then grow warm and melt and do the same thing all over again.

I took another deep breath and watched the cloudy looking fog race away from my mouth then disappear into the air. I sniffled a few times trying to keep my nose from running. I looked around at the other kids playing games, and smiled.

They were building different things out of the snow, having snowball fights, or chasing each other with bottled waters that were frozen. From the looks of it; they were having tons of fun. I smiled as a little girl got hit and fell down. She stood up, rolled up a sloppy snowball and threw it at the little boy who had thrown it at her. When it hit him in the face she smirked and made a small noise while she walked off.

I grinned and turned towards my way home. As I started walking I got the feeling someone was watching me, following me.

Paranoia... Not here... Please not here...

I stopped and looked around. Once I realized no one was there I smiled. I started walking back towards my home when I heard a small mewing coming from the fence area. I looked and saw a bunch of boxes, two trash bins, and a kitten.

"Awe," I cooed. "Are you lost?"

I picked it up slowly and it mewed again but then started purring when I pulled my jacket down slightly and put the fellow in the warmth of it. I pet its head with love as it purred in satisfaction.

"Lets get you home. I bet your hungry? Your freezing to! Ill take care of you..." I kept whispering things to it as I walked down the street and finally reached my doorsteps. I walked up and grabbed the keys out of my pocket and put it in the key hole. After a pause and a small click I walked into the warmth of my home sweet home.

I pulled the key out of the door and shut it trying not to let any snow flow into the warmth or get my carpet wet. I slipped out of my boots and coat and put the kitten down to roam around. Once he was out of my arms I went to the kitchen and got some milk, poured it in a bowl, and warmed it up. Once it was finished I put the bowl on the floor and called for the small cat.

"Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...!!" I yelled. After a few moments I saw its head poke out from under the couch and laughed. I put the cat by the bowl and let it drink it.

I watched as it drank the milk greedily.

"Poor kitty..." I mumbled.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hmm...?" I mumbled.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket and looked at the caller ID.

Private Number

I frowned and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello! I would like to ask you a few questions." They said in a squeaky voice.

"Okay?"

"Do you like being called FAT! I bet you do, don't you? God, Ms. Piggy. Do you ever stop eating? And what about those clothes? Do you get them out of the garbage?!" The voice snickered.

I immediately went blank. My mouth dropped open and I stared into open space.

"Oh. Can't answer? Are you a moron to? I mean we know your a slut and sleep with everyone but come on! If you got all those guys then you would at least think that you would be smart enough to get them. Guess not..." They continued.

When I finally found my voice I croaked out. "Who... Who i-is this?"

They snickered again. "Ugh. Guess you couldn't really get the memo did you? Why don't you just listen to us. Kill yourself! No one likes you. No one cares! The guy you were with? Do you remember him? The one that got to you so quickly but then used you and took what every girl holds dearly? Do you remember how he wou-"

I shut the phone. I hadn't even realized how blurry my eyes were until I did. I looked down at myself. I listened to all the voices in my head telling me what they thought... whats true... what I've been called... what I am...

"I... I'm sorry Blake....." I mumbled. I wiped my wet face and headed to my room. I made my way to my bathroom sobbing and hiccuping. Once I reached it I shut the door and reached into my mirror cabinet. I pulled out scissors and some medicine not caring what all it was. I lifted up my long sleeve sweater and gave another cry out. My arms already had deep cuts in them but I didn't care. I took the scissors to my skin and didn't stop until my arm was covered in red. I groaned and grabbed the pills. I turned on the faucet and took as many as I could and swallowed. Then took more and more until my stomach was full of pills and water. I slinkied to the floor and closed my eyes just waiting for things to go black and stay black. Everything just started slowing down and freezing up as things got quieter. I opened my eyes when I heard the living room door faintly close. I started balling my eyes out at the sound. Blake was home. He was going to see me like this. I cried out loud when I heard his footsteps. My vision was going black and tunnel like so I just closed my eyes and hoped it would just stop. The bathroom door slammed open and I opened my eyes slightly to a red, tear stained face.

"Cari!!" He screamed. "Caroline what did you do?!"

He reached for me and put his fingers down my throat. I gagged and ended up puking some of it up.

"Why Cari!! Why..." He cried as he grabbed his phone. The last thing I heard was my address being said a long way away from me...

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