Wildest Dreams [ON HOLD]

❝ don't let them control your life ❞

Always do what you decide,
Don't let them control your life.
That's just how I feel,
Fight for yours and don't let go.
Don't let them compare you,
Don't worry, you're not alone.

"Am I Wrong" -Nico & Vinz

"And here we have The Green!" The all too enthusiastic college guide exclaimed. I wasn't sure where Future Planning Program found these people, or if they just paid them enough for them to jack themselves up on happy drugs. "This is where we host most of our protests, rallies and sporting events..."

I tuned her out, instead glancing around to observe the groups of students scattered around the wide field. Some were talking and laughing in groups, a couple sitting with their laptops and a textbook beside them, and one person was, for whatever reason, practicing their juggling skills.

That could be me in a couple months.

No, I corrected myself. That could've been me in a couple months.

There was no I could get into Dartmouth, or any school like it now. The tour guide had said that the majority of their students were in the top ten percent of their high school class and had a high GPA, above three point five, for most of them. That would've been me, that was me during Freshman and Sophomore year.

My Junior year?

Two point five.

I hadn't even noticed it going down.

No, that was true. I had noticed, Mom and Dad had yelled at me for it enough, so there was no way I didn't notice.

I just... Hadn't cared.

Had said whatever, I could always catch up, do better on the next assignment, do better on the next test, do better on the exam, do better next year.

And now it was next year and my cumulative GPA was hovering just over three point six and that was only because I had done well in my first two years and sought out extra credit.

Not the year it actually mattered.

"Hey, you okay?" Jacen asked. He waved a hand in front of my face, making me realize I had zoned out, staring at a group of people that probably thought I was crazy now, and fallen behind the tour group.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I muttered. "Look, I- I'm not really feeling this. I'll find you later, okay? We can meet back at RV."

I glanced at the college guide to make sure she was distracted before turning to walk away. "Hey," Jacen called, trailing after me. "Where are you going?"

"Exploring. Stay with the group," I told him. "You seemed interested."

He ignored me, of course. "I've seen Dartmouth before."

"Just leave me alone," I said. "I just need time alone."

He didn't reply after that, and if it hadn't been for his quiet footsteps behind me, I would've thought he'd listened and left me alone.

But of course, we're talking about Jacen Winston.

So he didn't.

I'm pretty sure he's never done anything I want him to.

Finally I accepted the fact that I wouldn't be able to shake him and didn't want to feel like wandering around anymore, so I took a seat on a bench facing the Green. I crossed my legs, tucking my feet under my knees as Jacen sat down beside me.

"So," he started after a couple minutes of silence.

"There's no point in me visiting these places," I told him.