Truth is... [larry stylinson AU]

Fooling and Faking and Tricking

Louis
August 4th, 2015

Truth is... 

It's hard

It's hard to know that who you love, you can't be with

It really is

I have experience as proof

But this isn't the kind of proof to be proud of

This isn't the kind of proof that helps you win your side and your victory

This isn't the kind of proof that you can be proud of and show off

This isn't the kind of proof that you work so hard to get it and it pays off

It's the proof that makes you ashamed.

It's the back-stabbing-heart-breaking proof

It's the kind of proof you go through hell and back to get but there is no reward for it.

It sucks
It hurts
It burns
It scars
It kills
And I live with it
Every month
Every week
Every day
Every hour
Every minute
Every aching second I live with it

Oh, and it stings.

It stings and stings and when you think it is gone it comes right back, bigger and stronger than ever

But when I see him it goes away
It stops
It dissolves
It vanishes
It freezes
It tricks you
It fools you
It fakes you out

But those few hours of tricking and fooling and faking are all I get

And they feel like heaven

They feel like your floating

They feel like a wave of calm brushes over you

But once that hope
That Peace
That Love
That Calm
That Care
Go away and leave me when I need it most,
It grows and gets stronger
More painful
More helpless
More breaking
More powerful

And i'm left alone

By myself

Waiting till I become whole again

Till I'm fooled and faked and tricked all over again.