Stuck in a Rut (Boyxboy)

Part One

When Harry wakes up and rolls over, he almost goes to wrap his arms around Louis and cuddle him, but then he remembers- Louis isn't there.

His eyes slowly open, and instead of seeing Louis gentle eyes looking back at him, he sees empty bed sheets and a lipstick colored wall, with a patch of sunlight smeared upon it.

Louis hadn't been there for over a month now. Now, the bed was cold and Louis hadn't touched it in days, he hadn't touched it in months.

Harry sat on the edge of the bed, thinking. Biting the inside of his cheek, shaming himself for thinking this way because how could he still, be thinking this way? Missing Louis so much, even more than yesterday, and the day before that. It was completely ridiculous.

Louis had been gone for almost five months now.

He eventually got up, lazily shoving his slippers on and snatching his phone from his wooden night-stand.

Harry paused before walking into the kitchen, it was almost like a reflex, an involuntary movement that he made.

He looked down at the other side of the bed, his side of the bed. He slowly lowered his arm, so that his finger tips were brushing along the soft, velvet sheets of the bed.

Harry wondered if Louis missed it - the warmth of the bed. He wondered if Louis missed the gentle kisses, and meaningful touches that were shared in that bed. All the times that they'd stay in bed all day just to cuddle, looking at each other, admiring one another.

And it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Louis left him the way he did.

Tears started to sting his eyes, brimming at the corners.

Harry told himself he wouldn't cry. He couldn't. He'd cried too much already. It was how he started almost each and every morning, each and every night. Wishing Louis was there, that some sort of miracle would occur to bring him back.

He could almost feel it. Louis wrapping his arms around Harry, fists gripping on to Harry's shirt, Louis face buried his chest. The smell of lavender shampoo and cigarettes invading his nose. But this fantasy wasn't reality. No matter how badly Harry wished for it, how much Harry ached for it, it would not come true. 

Harry sat back down for a few seconds to contain himself, he swallowed hard, and eventually forced himself to walk into the kitchen to feed his cat, Sam.

The cat looked up as soon as Harry walked into the kitchen and began meowing repeatedly, like he always did when Harry went into the kitchen.

Harry smiled a little, "Yes, yes. I know you want your food, darling." He bent down patted the cat on his head, thick white fur getting tangled in his long fingers.

He opened the pantry and got the cat food out, off the second shelf, opening it while he walked over to the cats food dish which was placed on a small step stool next to the fridge. It was just the right size, so the cat and the food dish could sit on it.

Harry glanced out the window and saw that small snowflakes were dancing towards the ground, he sighed. Shoveling his driveway at the end of the week was not something that he was looking forward to, but it seemed like it was going to snow everyday this week.

After Harry had made breakfast and scarfed down his eggs, he flipped on the TV.  "Make sure to be careful if you're driving tonight," the weather man said, "roads will be slick and there's a strong chance that blizzards are going to hit town."

Harry bit his lip, thinking. Maybe he should call Liam, to make sure he knows about the weather. Harry remembered talking to him about a business trip he had to make awhile back that was set for tonight.

He picked up his cellphone from the coffee table and dialed Liam's number.

It rang, once, twice, three times.

"Hello?" Liam's deep, gentle voice seeped through the phone, he sounded surprised.

"Er, hey Li, it's Harry. I uh, just wanted to make sure you know that the roads are supposed to be bad, since you have a business trip tonight." 

"Yeah, I knew that already - been watching the news all morning."

There was a long stretch of silence between the two of them.

"How've you been Harry?" Liam broke the silence, his voice cracking a little, "haven't heard from you in quite a while mate."

"'M fine." Harry mumbled, "just been taking care of Sam, nothing too important going on."

"You know I-I" Liam stopped himself and sighed a little. There was a short pause before he spoke again, "I don't think taking so much time off of work is good for you." His voice was lower now, concerned.

"I needed a vacation Liam, I'm tired." Irritation could be heard in his voice as he spoke, "I can't work at that damn bar twenty-four seven for fuck sake, I-I need this." Harry rubbed at the side of his face with his hand and sighed.

"We both know why you took this vacation Harry." Liam said, his voice still low, "You went on vacation right after Louis broke up with you, and I don't think it's healthy for you to stay at home all day."

Harry remained silent.

"I mean what do you do all day, Harry? Sleep?"

"I do chores around the house." Harry said quietly.

"And what else?"

"I take care of Sam."

"How long has it been since you've even contacted me Harry? What about Niall or Zayn?"  The concern in Liam's voice grew.

"Look Li, I appreciate that you care, I really do but- I just don't need anyone pitying me." Harry sighed, "I'm fine on my own, I want you to understand that. " Harry knew he was lying. He was lying straight through his teeth.

"Well Harry, I'm always a phone call away if you ever do need me, remember that. All right?" Liam's voice was gentle again.

"All right."

"I'll talk to you later Haz, I have that business trip tonight, you know? Got to be getting ready soon."

"Y-yeah, see you Liam."

The line went dead, and Harry was left with the sound of the dial tone. He took a deep breath, and shut his eyes tightly, wondering what he was going to do.

When Harry opened his eyes again, he realized he had fallen asleep. He grabbed his cellphone and checked the time.

"It's past 9:30 already? Christ." He muttered groggily to himself.

When he got up and started walking towards the kitchen, there was a knock at his front door.

"This late at night?" Harry grumbled, annoyed by the sudden noise. He figured it was Liam, skipping his business trip to pay him a visit and have a chat about things.

He turned on the porch light and opened the door. His body grew stiff, his mouth dry. And he almost reached out and touched the person to make sure that he was in fact sane, and not dreaming or hallucinating.

Harry hadn't looked into those dark eyes, as cold and as blue as the icicles hanging from the ceiling, in five long months.

Hey guys I really hope you enjoy this short story I'm writing! Please let me know what you think, it'll be highly appreciated. A big thanks to emily_septic_eye for helping me edit this, the first chapters for you! I'll make sure to update this as soon as possible, thanks for reading! :)