No matter how many times,
I see you walk away,
You're the one person,
I know will never sway.
I listen to your laugh,
And stare at your smiles,
You're the friend,
For who I would walk a thousand miles.
I remember the first time,
When you left us that year,
Then we were so grateful to learn,
That you were coming back here.
A wonderful year of smiles and joy,
We never thought it would end,
I never thought that you would become,
My very best friend.
Then we heard the news,
After the courts and the tears,
That you, our dearest friend,
Would be leaving at the end of the school year.
There was a difference though.
You were never coming back.
I remember telling myself that this wasn't goodbye.
It couldn't be.
I don't know how I'll be able to live my life without you by my side.
I refused to acknowledge the fact, until I absolutely have to.
And then the last day of school came.
I saw you in the hall,
Put a smile on my face,
And told you "Hi."
While inside I wanted to cry,
The next morning I'd have to let you go.
I wanted to make you take me with you.
I wanted to tell you to stay here.
I never wanted to see you cry,
My strong friend on whom I had never seen a tear.
Then as the five of us were sleeping over at Camille's,
I'll never forget what you told.
The things that had made you seem,
Much, much too old.
The things that you had only told Camille,
On the letter that her mom found.
I will always remember,
How none of us could make a sound.
I remember you telling us how
You once went four months without a meal.
Because you spent your money on food for your little sister,
So she'd always think her life was perfect.
I remember how you were crying while telling us everything,
Especially how your mom would miss your sister's tenth birthday.
With everything you said - I wondered
How God could be so cruel to you.
I remember wanting to hurt your "family"
For the things they said to you.
I wanted to tell your aunt
That she could go and kill herself too.
I remember wanting to kick your dad in the crotch
For telling you you should just change your last name.
I wanted to tell your mom off for all the things
That slid under her nose.
Most of them were her fault after all.
I remember you saying how you felt that your dead uncle,
Was the only "family" member who really loved you.
I remember you saying how if someone was hurting you,
You told them you didn't care what they did,
As long as they didn't hurt your sister.
I remember you telling us how Gabby didn't have friends at school,
Because she was different.
And the kids asked her why she didn't have a cell phone.
She's nine years old,
And has had people tell her that she doesn't deserve to be loved.
But you always loved her.
I remember you telling us how she was so happy,
When we took her ice skating.
And how she thanked you for paying for her.
And how we were so nice and made her feel loved.
I remember you telling us how you had to grow up.
And how I wanted to grab a gun and tell you to show me the person.
I wanted them to suffer for what they did to you.
And I hated how they were free.
I remember crying until I couldn't anymore,
Over the stories you told us.
And everyone else's as well.
I wish I could still look forward to seeing you everyday.
And here you scream, "You did what?!!" at the top of your lungs at lunch.
I wish I had super glued my hands to your arms,
So you could never get away.
I wished I had told you how much I really wanted you to stay.
I'll miss every little thing about you.
I just wanted you to know.
I really do love you.
I should have told you not to go.
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This poem is dedicated to Lacey. I'll always remember you. I don't know how I could forget you. You are one of my best friends, and you always will be. Even if I never see you again. No matter what happens just remember.....
I love you.
So does Jacki.
And Camille.
And Jaina.
And Camille's mom.
And Taylor even though she wasn't there to hear your tales.
You'll always be in out hearts and minds.
You left three days ago.
I haven't stopped thinking about you and how your life must be now.
Tell Gabby we miss her too.
I hope CoCo is the best person for you to be living with.
I still don't want to say goodbye.
We'll come visit you soon.
I pinky promise.
Love,
Evi
