Tied up

Chapter nine

'It will never end!'
Will is shoving more and more fire into my throat, while another, younger version of him happily hits my head with a stone.
'Stop... please stop'
'It will never end!'
This time it isn't Will who says it, it's Bianca, she's dancing through the room until she's in front of me.
'Never!'
She starts to pull out the nails of my fingers.
I want to scream from all the pain, but I just start to swallow the fire in my mouth and throat.
'Never, never, never.'
Bianca, Will and the other Will continue their work, until there are about 50 bloody nails on the floor.
'Never, Never, Never... NOW!'
Bianca stabs herself with one of the nails, but it isn't her, I am stabbing her.
Her head falls of and hits the ground.
Another Will appears and starts to hit me with her head.

I wake up.
The first thing I do is looking at my hand.
Of course there are no nails, my body as nothing to let them grow.

I try to look at my sister's body, but I can't see her, my vision is blurry, my eyes are dry.

The bucket!

The rain stopped, but the bucket is right there.
With the hope of finding water I crawl towards it.
And there it is! The bucket is nearly full, full with cold, watery water.

I have to be careful.
No mistakes, not now.
If the water runs out of the bucket the pain won't stop.
I could try to drown myself, but there's to much of a risk that I could survive.
So I have to drink as carefully as possible.
But not to much, my body isn't used to it, and I can't mess around with the little amount of water I got.

Somehow I manage it to drink.
Somehow I manage it to be careful.
Now I just somehow have to manage everything else.

Come on, sort out your priorities.

I still have water, that's good, I can drink it later.
Next thing, everything hurts, but there's nothing I can do.
I'm tired, but I always am and can't allow myself to sleep again, not yet.
One thing left - I'm hungry.
Really hungry.
But I also feel really sick, just thinking about food. But if I would eat something, probably the pain would get at least a little bit less horrible? It hurts so bad.

Of course I have no food anyways.
Will gave me food, but he left.

Before he left he brought a bucket and a corpse.

Why did he do that?
I mean, he obviously brought Bianca because he thought it would be fun locking me with the dead body of my sister, wich would slowly get smelly and spoiled while I am dying slowly as well.

But why the bucket?
He knew it would rain. He knew I would have water. What does he want? Make me feel like I would have a chance?
Because I don't. Not at all. I'm to hungry to feel hope.

A fly sit's down on Bianca's arm.
Wait - no!
My sister is dead, so basically I could - no!
It would be gross, horrific, disgusting, disturbing and wrong, but - there's no way- but - This is so wrong.
I'm so hungry. Everything hurts so much and I'm so hungry.
That's not an excuse for eating your sister!
It wouldn't make her life any worse...
Raw meat is unhealthy!
I laugh. The voice in my head laughs too. We both know that this isn't an actual point.
I mean, what could happen? Me, dying slowly and painful?

The voice shuts up, so I guess it's okay.
I crawl to her body.

Her arm is really skinny, but not as much as mine.
I take her hand.
What am I doing here?

It feels so wrong.
It smells so wrong.

It tastes so wrong.
I swallow, even everything inside of my screams to poke it out.
Tears are running down my cheeks, what am I doing here?

Surviving.

But I don't want to-

Not for yourself. For her. For Hazel. Their families.

After two bites I already feel sick.
Raw meat doesn't seem to be very good. Especially human meat.
But if I wait until it's spoiled it won't help me at all.

One more bite, come on, just one more.
Then sleep, and then do it again.
Bite and bite, until you are able to sit up.

Eat and sleep until you can stand up.
Until you can escape.

I whip my tears away and take one more bite.

Until I can escape.