Broken Glass [EXO Kpop Fanfiction]

three

Rolling over onto my side, I let my eyes wander out the window from my position on the floor. The bed had felt too luxurious for me, and I'd pulled everything onto the floor, laying it all out into my own nest-like pile until I felt comfortable. Looking out the window had become a habit of mine. Always I would gaze out towards the sky, fixated on the Moon and the stars and feeling far happier during those times than when I would be slaving away for my so-called family.

Despite being made to feel as insignificant as dust, when I looked to the heavens, I would remember that our planet we call home is insignificant in the whole scheme of the universe. That way, I could pretend that everyone is just as insignificant as me, and that whatever they do will never affect the way time turns.

I hear footsteps in the hallway and quickly buried my face amongst the softness, feigning sleep. I hear the door creak open, and my heart quickens. I think he's checking on me and I listen to his quiet breaths. "Are you asleep?" he whispered. I wait, wondering why he'd ask. "Do you want to see the stars?"

Slowly sitting up, I turn towards him, "How did you know I'm awake?" I ask quietly. He chuckles softly, coming inside the room and crouches down beside me. Pulling the blanket around my shoulders, I squint, trying to see his face in the dark.

"I didn't. I was just curious and called out to you," he replied. "So... do you want to see them?"

I nod and he helps me get up, letting me keep the blanket around me and leads the way out of his small apartment. After locking the door, he beckons me towards the staircase and we make it all the way up to the rooftop. There are already some rusty wrought iron chairs and a table placed in a corner, a large umbrella in the centre of the table to provide shade and some withering pot plants scattered around. We sit in the middle of the rooftop and I wrap the blanket around me more comfortably.

All the objects in the sky feel so close that I could almost reach out and pluck them with my fingers, tucking them away into my pockets as a keepsake, and I do just that, my palm outstretched and letting the moonlight stream between my fingers. The night is peaceful and quiet because we're located on the outskirts of town; no cars, no city lights, no interference. There's only the faraway sound of waves crashing onto the shore and crickets chirping. It feels like we'd gone out camping.

Minseok is lying down on the hard concrete, hands folded behind his head and it looked like the universe was in his eyes the way they glittered. I couldn't help staring at his profile, wrapped up in the way his pale skin almost glowed like he was an angel who had come down from heaven. I tuck my hand back inside the folds of cloth and turn back to gaze out into the darkness, thinking only about him and tucking all the darkness of my soul into the back of my mind.

The rustle of fabric to my side catches my attention but I don't turn, eyes fixated on the Moon. "I-I probably shouldn't ask," he began, "But are you feeling okay after these two weeks with me? I'm just wondering if you wanted to talk, since I haven't heard you speak more than a few sentences spanning the time you've been here." His breathing fills the silence for two beats of my heart. "I can't say I'll understand everything, but the least I can do is listen to your worries."

"I- No, I-I'm okay," I breathe out. Finally looking at him properly, half of his face is cast in shadow making his expression unreadable. I don't know what to say because there's a heavy weight on my heart that I'm not ready to share. For many years of my life I've had to suffer on my own, deal with my problems on my own, and suddenly having someone willing to listen to me is new. I can't see Minseok's eyes either, no more of the glitter from the stars, making me wonder what he looks like now and if he's truly being kind. But he doesn't reply and we remain in companionable silence because maybe he knows I prefer it this way; just like he had said, I hadn't spoken much, only answering when necessary or small comments on his cooking skills or the photos he shows me.

I think the stargazing eventually lulls me to sleep, and I only faintly register being picked up and smelling the soft scent of soap. It feels comforting and warm, and I don't want to let go; I haven't felt so tranquil in a long time. It must be the Moon's enchantment.

***

There's a warmth on my back when I slip out of dreamland, as if I'd turned on a heated blanket, and as it seeps under my skin, I wriggle around because it's getting uncomfortably hot. My eyes are still shut; I don't want to wake up to the world yet, not when the remnants of my nightmare-less dreams continue to float in my mind. Instead, I lay there, eyes closed, basking in the morning sunlight, seeing red under my eyelids. My back is still too warm and reluctantly, I open my eyes to see why.

I was lying on my bed, the thin, translucent cotton curtains still pushed to the side and letting all of the glorious sunshine flood into the room. But I was facing the window, its corners cobwebbed and the cream paint on the wood flaking away. I remember this feeling, I've missed it too, being held gently in someone's embrace. However, it's not the person that had once held me like this. I know it's Minseok behind me, his arms around my waist, his legs tangled in mine as he continued to sleep, breathing in and out, tickling the hairs on the back on my neck, the only other person I temporarily shared this apartment with.

Something clicks in my head, and I get up, though careful to not wake up Minseok. I shouldn't be here wrapped up in his embrace, I should have been lying on the bottom of the river or washed away to sea... I stop my train of thoughts; I need to move on and create a new life for myself. I've been idle here for two weeks already. Someone is bound to see me around town one day.

There's a groan from behind me and I realise that he's awake now, and here I am, still sitting with the blanket bunched around my hips and legs crossed with my mind running amok. Luckily I'd moved his arm to the side and isolated myself from his touch, a little embarrassed imagining what it be like if he woke to find that he was hugging me. "Mn, g'mornin'," he greets, voice husky and thick from sleep.

"Good morning," I reply.

He rubs the heel of his palms over his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair then turns to face me with a smile, "Your hair's a mess," he chuckles, "Like a bird's nest." I could say the same for him. Dropping my legs over the edge of the bed and pushing the blanket aside, I get out of bed. "You can use the bathroom first," he says through a yawn, "Do you want coffee?" He always asks me that, though this is the first time he's asked me while lying in the bed I'm using. I usually say no, but maybe I'll have some today.

"Sure," I answer and walk off to the bathroom. I don't really look at myself in the mirror when I get ready, choosing to look at the basin or out the small bathroom window when brushing my teeth, untangling my hair and changing out of my pyjamas, which he'd kindly bought for me. After all, I went and decided to stay with him with only the clothes I had on me. As soon as I opened the door, the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted over me, giving the morning a homely atmosphere. I watch from the doorway of the kitchen as he fills two mugs with steaming coffee. When he notices me, he smiles and beckons me over, handing one to me.

"Enjoy!" he grins, takes a sip of his and makes a strange face. I presume it's because he forgot that the coffee is still boiling hot. A soft laugh leaves my mouth, causing Minseok to look at me with wide eyes. "It's been awhile since I last heard you laugh," he exclaims, setting down his mug, "It's nice. You need to laugh and smile more, even when you hurt the most." I almost miss the last part because he had said it so quietly.

He walks off, bare feet padding across the carpet and I'm left to my own thoughts once again. I sit down on the sofa, pulling my legs up under my chin with my mug of coffee clutched between my hands and try to remember how Minseok had ended up in bed with me but come up with nothing. I'd been too out of it to really have noticed much last night. I only remember parts of my dream where I felt happy for once and not as lonely, unlike all the nights I've slept. Maybe Minseok is my lucky charm.