~

i

I saw her ensconced with grass stained knees, engulfed in my sickness-- swirling streams of grey that wash away all clarity. 

Dizzy, stumbling on an evanescent buzz; leaning  on her tired shoulders as my throat is set ablaze, smoke filling each and every crevice of my lungs-- 

Ripping holes, coloring carefully inside lines like a child; a permanent black pen, bleeding, spilling venomous ink,

But the screaming emanating from my chest as it drowns in liquid ebony washes my thoughts downstream, 

drowns them.

I place my frigid fingertips in the between the hairline on an ivory neck and perfectly etched shoulder blades-- dull, harmless, inviting. 

I press my cracked lips against her jaw. 

I feel my poison sinking into her pores.

I cringe but paint a sickening trail of lipstick stains down to her collarbones nonetheless.

I have been here before.