~Unedited ~
Car Radio by ~Tøp (My second favorite band.) I think it fits but anyway carry on my wayward sons
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And..she woke up.
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And I am her.
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She is me.....
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Sweat covers my body head to toe from shaking and crying. My tears are dried and stained to my face from last night's nightmares. I throw off my covers and I turn and sit with my feet dangling off my bed. I breathe in and out a few times and gather the energy somewhere inside of me to try to start my day.
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The water beats downs on me and it sound drowns out my desperate cries. As I finish showering and i hear banging cabinets from down stairs so it means my gram is up so I get up painfully with scars still on my legs from Saturday. I dry off and slip on a jumper and jeans and my black converse to match. I make my way into the kitchen and sit on the island. She hands me eggs, bacon, a glass of orange juice and lastly my pills. Yes pills those wonderful things. I have Depression, Anxiety and PTSD so I take pills for all of them. Fun right?
Kill yourself. It will make everyone happy especially your gram!
I jug down the pills with one big time swallow of the orange juice.
You think stupid pills are going to stop me. / We're going to be late omg!
I eat my eggs and my grams speaks up. I move on and chew my bacon as she says "We both know what happens tomorrow night. So I'm going to pick you up after school and head to the bunker starting from there". I felled sick instantly. "When you're in school I'll go to the store get the stuff we need and I'll load up my guns!" Pointing to her muscles and i almost choke on the bacon from laughing. It feels good to laugh. Then she acts serious again and says the guns with silver and regular bullets. Is that okay?" I nod and finally after the silence I say okay. I put my dish in the sink and head for the truck with my book bag slong on my shoulder and I hop in and put my bookbag on my lap and put my earphones in and ignore the world and society around me. As we drive down the road I listen to the lyrics - Somebody stole my car radio and now i just sit in silence. Sometimes quiet is violent. I couldn't agree more because you're left with your thoughts alone. People say being alone at night is scary but to me being alone at night with your thoughts is much scarier in my taste of defense and desire to get away from my thoughts. My gram pulls in to school and I hop out and she says "I love you and see you soon". I say "See you too and love you too". I walk into my prison and make it to my locker and sit in my first period listening to the same old boring lectures of the book we're reading and how it will affect our final grade.
You don't fit in! You're horrible! You're too fat and too ugly with all those scars that all over you! Who could love someone like you?
Yeah who could. I couldn't agree more.
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I'm sitting on a toilet in the bathroom stall eating my lunch. There's too many people in my lunch to begin with plus I have nobody to sit by unless you count the people that take pity on you they say come sit by us and be super sweet but honestly they're being nice because they have do or feel bad. I never made friends just one or two people that I pass by and say hi to during the day.
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I walk out the double doors to meet the brisk November wind and my gram's smiling face. She's faking truthfully till we're out of the school site. Well I got the guns and rifles and other things in the back some with regular bullets some with silver bullets. I put your bag in here and as she says that I pull out Peter and my cover. I cover up and plug in my earphones to ignore the world. Peter is my stuffed rabbit that is the only thing close to my dad I have left and the cover my mom made while pregnant with me and still liked me then.... then I snuggle up and drifted off as my gram drives and says sweet dreams.
Sweet....more like Scary.
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The beast walked closer and closer to his kill. His footsteps were only inches apart from her. She whimpered as his hand raised to.....
