Do you ever feel like the world is crashing around you?
The walls are caving in. You have nowhere to go. Nowhere to turn. Noone to help.
It's just you. All your mistakes, all the offensive words, all the sins. They all drown you in despair.
You're completely miserable.
You wish you were dead.
You wish you fell asleep and never woke up.
You think you'd be better off that way, that everyone would be.
Well you're wrong.
I've had those thoughts, every other day of my life.
Why does it have to be so hard? So much pressure to be perfect? Like your parents and teachers were perfect never made a mistake so neither should you.
Like your teacher never had missing work or a F on a test.
Never skipped class, or fell asleep in it. Or done something wrong.
Like your parents never snuck out, told off their parent, lied to them.
Like they never got in trouble?
They have. They know they have, so why do they put so much pressure on us to never screw up? Why do they expect us to be perfect?
I know. They, "Want the best for us. They want us to succeed unlike them." Well, since they act like we aren't even a part of their families anymore, like we're just
a burden, I'm starting to think those were just lies.
Do you come home everyday and see your parents, mom, or dad in the living room with your little/older sister or brother? Just talking or playing a game or just
watching TV? and you feel like you aren't even part of their family anymore? So you go in your room and listen to music, read, practice guitar, or something.
Something that makes you feel happy, that makes you feel like you belong? God. I wish I belonged in this house, but I don't.
Have you ever sat there and cried for hours because it all just got so hard? Life itself.
The school work.
The lectures.
Being grounded for stupid stuff.
Being told you aren't good enough.
Being told you shouldn't be alive.
Being persuaded that we should be perfect, nothing less.
The friends who treat you like you guys are best friends one day and strangers the next.
The teachers who get on you about everything.
That boyfriend/girlfriend who treats you like crap, but you stay with them anyways.
That sibling that will ALWAYS be loved more than you, because they're the perfect child.
Being hated by everyone..
And after awhile, even though you don't know why they hate you, you start hating yourself.
You think about being gone over and over and over again.
And when you're happy, it's only temporary.
Like when you're having a good day or a good night out with friends or something.
And then you think about something, a mistake you've made.
