Pleasure's All Mine This Time (Synyster Gates) ~Book 1~

Chapter 39

She had been awake for a while now and the skies behind the panoramic window were starting to turn into a pale shade of lilac. The cold morning breeze crept from behind the flax curtains and chilled Chloe’s exposed ankles. She sighed and rested her head on her bent knees, looking to her left.

Brian was sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed, the linen sheets covering his lower half. Chloe was tempted to touch his heaving chest or comb through his messy black hair. She was scared that her touch would wake him up and she would have no choice but to face his gorgeous brown eyes. Her gaze left Brian’s sleeping form and she scanned their hotel room.

Brian’s clothes were scattered on the floor and there was no trace of any of Chloe’s belongings. She had long ago packed them up, they were hidden deep inside her luggage, which stood by the door. Chloe climbed out of bed carefully, trying her hardest not to disturb Brian. She reached for the folded clothes that rested on the nightstand and slowly slipped into the jeans and T-shirt she had prepared in advance.

She quietly pulled the soft curtains shut, trying to make the room as dark as possible. A pinch of guilt tingled in her heart but she quickly brushed it off, not willing to deal with any unnecessary emotions. She took one last glimpse of Brian before picking her stilettos up from the floor and talking her bag in the other hand. She would never hear his voice whisper sweetly in her ear, his hands won’t take her body to magnificent places anymore.

It had to end, she had to walk away. Without looking back, Chloe stepped out of the hotel room, on the tips of her toes. She hesitantly shut the door behind her, praying that Brian didn’t budge. She slipped her shoes on and the second she looked up, her heart sank to the ground. Her eyes met a familiar pair of surprised, pale blue ones.

Jimmy’s jaw dropped and he rapidly scanned Chloe, as if he was reassuring himself that what he was witnessing was indeed happening. Chloe blinked, not saying a word to Jimmy and carefully took a step backwards. As she was moved away, she noticed the bottle of beer in his hand; he had probably stayed at the bar until dawn. Jimmy flinched, realizing what was going on. “Oh no no.” He shook his head. “Brian!” Jimmy yelled, knocking on Brian’s hotel room door.

“Stop it!” Chloe hissed, begging him to stop.

“Hell no!” Jimmy said, “BRIAN!” He pounded on the door, not taking his eyes off of Chloe.

Chloe’s heart pounded as she shook her head and ran for her life, turning her back to Jimmy and sprinting down the corridor towards the elevators. As she escaped she looked back, now seeing Brian standing confused in the doorway. Even from that far back, she could see the hurt in his eyes. And then it all started spinning. She pressed the elevator’s button hard, praying it would arrive quickly. She looked over her shoulder, seeing Brian rush in her direction.

“Chloe!” He called. It was a complete nightmare. She dove inside the elevator just in time for the doors to close in Brian’s face. Chloe breathed heavily while the elevator went down. Brian’s hurtful gaze haunted her and sliced her to pieces, it was the moment she dreaded. The doors opened and revealed the hotel’s lobby, all she had to do was sprint outside and catch a taxi but her heavy luggage and sturdy shoes made the plan quite difficult to execute.

“Stupid!” Chloe screamed at herself inside her mind. She brushed the fear off and hurried to the hotel’s fancy entrance. It was extremely late and the only people present were the bellboys and clerks at the register. For a brief moment it seemed to Chloe that her plan succeeded when Brian’s sudden voice made her freeze in her tracks. He was calling her name.

“Wait!” Brian yelled.

She turned around, Brian was rapidly moving in her direction. Why it is that he always ends up chasing me?!

“Where are you going!?” He demanded an answer. “What the fuck is this!?” He pointed to her bags. Chloe stuttered, completely stricken with horror.

“It has nothing to do with you!” She burst out, “It’s my own personal business!”

Brian ‘s expression was a mix of shock and disbelief, “Nothing to do with me?!” He gasped, almost laughing in her face. “You leave me in that fucking hotel room, in the middle of tour and say that it’s not about me?!” He shook his head.

“I can’t take this Brian!” Chloe panicked, anxiously looking over her shoulder at the cabs that lined outside the hotel. “I’m miserable and I can’t handle this shit anymore! You knew that it was going to end this way! We discussed this!” She claimed.

“We never discussed you just ditching everything!” Brian yelled at Chloe, fighting her. “You think it’s all about you?! Fuck Chloe! You’re so fucking selfish! You’re just throwing everything we have away!”

She closed her eyes, his words hurt her deeply. “Please stop.” She whispered.

“Why?! Because you’re not in touch with your emotions and would rather run away from commitment?! How do you think this makes me feel Chloe?! I love you and you turn your back on us!” Brian hissed.

“Please don’t say this!” She begged.

“Too much for you to deal with huh? Well just imagine what I’m going through right now! What did you plan would happen?! That by the time I woke up you’d be on the plane home?!” His words sliced her. “That we’ll never speak to each other again?! That you won’t have to face the pain of looking me in the motherfucking eyes?!” He was furious. “Well guess what, Chloe?! It doesn’t work this way!” He kicked the armchair he was standing next to. She stood in front of him completely speechless, her lips ajar. “I can’t believe I confided in you! Trusted you! Thought we’ll make it through! You’re just the same, sacred, superficial little girl you were when I first met you!” He said coldly.

It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold.

“No!” She cried. “Gosh Brian how can you be so cruel?! Can’t you see how hard this is on me?! I love you and we can’t realize this love! There’s nowhere else to take it!” Chloe cried.

“When you want something badly enough, you make it happen!” He snapped.

“I tried making this work! You and I! The tour! All together! I worked my ass off! And instead of cooperating, you just took the easy way out, and fled!” Brian said to Chloe’s teary face. “I didn’t ask for this! It just happened!” She insisted.

“Didn’t ask for this?” He drew closer to her, his voice low and deep, “All those nights when you screamed my name, you wanted it Chloe.”

“You’re a beast, Brian!” She pushed him away from her, roughly.

“And you’re an exploitative, selfish, ungrateful bitch! And you’ll stay alone forever!” He crossed the line and Chloe slapped him hard. His eyes burnt into hers, she was scared of what he was going to do next. “Chloe, I’m torn.” He said calmly as he panted. He didn’t apologize, there was need for him to do so, he was absolutely right.

“I’m sorry!” She called helplessly, it was the only emotion she could put to words, she was sorry for the pain her actions had cost them. “I have to go.”

Brian sighed, realizing that there was no turning back, “Can we at least do this together? For the sake of...Everything?” Brian sighed. Chloe knew this would be that hardest thing she’ll ever have to go through; all she did was slowly nodded.

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