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  I turned the lights on and locked the door, turning on the bath taps and hanging my towels up on the towel rack. I sighed as I started to undress myself, before looking up into the mirror. “Eugh” I said, scrunching my nose up. “Disgusting bitch” I mumbled to myself as I stared at the person that I hated more in the world stare back at me. Myself. “Should I wash my hair…hmm..” I started talking to myself as I put my hair up into a messy pony-tail, not wanting to wash my hair “Nah, too much effort.” I smiled to myself for a few seconds before it faded as soon as I looked myself in the eyes.

 

 I am so….disgusting.

 

 “Rose! Rose I’m home!” I heard a voice from downstairs. It was the only voice I could stand. The only voice that I wanted to hear.

 

 I stayed in the bathroom, door locked as my eyes traced every inch of my naked body. I hated what I saw. I always have. I was never good enough in my eyes. Never was, never would be.

 About 5 minutes passed by before I heard footsteps trailing up the stairs. “Rose. Where are you?” I heard a knock on the door. I didn’t respond. “Rose, I know you’re in there.” I heard a sigh before the door unlocked and he stepped through the door.

 

  “I’m home” Joel smiled before looking at my reflection, his smile dropping instantly. I looked at him. A blank expression plastered on my face. Yes, I was happy to see him, I was always happy when he got home.

 

  “Rose..” His voice softened as he walked over to me, standing behind me. “Why did you….why didn’t you tell me?” Joel spoke softly, his voice almost a whisper, his eyes fixed on the dark red lines that covered the area from my elbow to my shoulder.

 

  I felt his hand run alone the area of the cuts. His cold hands stung the marks, but I didn’t move, I did nothing but stare at myself in the mirror. “You’re getting bad again, sweetheart” I felt his lips press softly against the nape in the side of my neck. The sound of disappointment in his voice was heartbreaking.

 

  He was right. But truth was, I had been getting worse for weeks now. I just didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want him to worry.

 

  “Rose. Talk to me, please” He slid his arms under my arms and held me from behind, pulling me closer to him.

 

  I turned around, tears swelling in my eyes. I looked up at him, his silhouette fuzzy from the tears. I blinked twice, the tears escaping my eyes and running down my cheeks. “There just…just so much pain..?” I managed to get the words out in nothing but a quivering whisper.

 

 He took my hair out of my messy pony tail, letting my hair roll down past my shoulders. “I know.” He brushed the piece of hair out of my face, cupping my cheeks in his hands as he pressed his lips against my forehead. “I know it does baby. But we’re going to get you through this. I promise” He held me tight, his voice heartbroken but determined.

 

 “I love you..” I looked up at him, sniffling.

 

  He smiled, running his thumb under my eyes to wipe away my tears. “I love you too.” He kissed my forehead once more. “Now. Is there enough room in that bath for two..” A smug smirk lined his lips.

 

 I smiled, giggling softly. “Of course. Come join me.”