Forever Lasting

You'll Get There Someday

How does someone so perfect feel so insecure as to scar herself with cuts and still want to hurt more? How does someone so loving learn to hate their own guts by drawing a picture on her arms with a blade? ... She would want to hurt herself in search of something of feeling and something better than what she feels. Maybe one day she can walk the halls of life with a real smile and not have to think of how she may hide her next cut. This is the story of a girl that was forever broken.
Are you going to watch as she lies there breathless? Are you going to take her pain away or forever forget she's there? Will she be forever broken and helpless or will she thrive in life and become noticed. Till then she lies there in her bed with the blade ready to put more art of pain to her collection. As the blood slowly stains her arm she cries wishing someone would show her how perfect she really is. She thinks to herself "will I always wear a fake smile or one day will it be real? Will I ever know?"

She cuts to the beat of her heart maybe one day it will stop... She never noticed how perfect and beautiful she really was because no one dared to try to help her. Every night after her stressful day of school she lays on her bed trying to think of an escape but always end the day with that blade in hand. She thinks she can't be helped and that she'll forever be the broken one in the corner... lost and forgotten. She wishes she could be like the other girls... tall, pretty, liked, cared for, adored and loved.
She finally got the courage one day to step up and make herself noticed by wearing a short sleeve and bright colored clothes to realize no one cares about what you wear its what you look like. She hates how she let her own mother be abused and harmed to the point she killed herself. She wishes she had taken her mothers place that way her mother would still be loved and cared for. Honestly she knows that she'll always be the lost one stuck in this version of reality. Where she wishes to set down but knows its her only escape from life and misery.
She likes the way the blood seeps through her delicate skin and how it tingles after she brakes through her skin. Making her want to cut and bleed more. She knows how measly just cut diagonally and end her life. She rather suffer and deal with the emotional and physical pain that she causes herself. She hopes one day she'll find the man of her dreams to make her know she's loved and cared for and not bothered by her scars. She knows that will never happen though... She knows she'll forever be the last one chosen and the last one to survive. Does it bother her on how much she indures. No. Not even a little. She enjoys every ounce of it, just another reason to leave this god awful place anyways right? She doesn't like how different she is. She thinks of how she may die one day, she actually fantasies of it. She can't wait for it in her opinion. She once had a best friend she related to a lot.... a little to much to be honest. They went threw the same problems just in different ways. They were inseparable till the day she committed suicide and left this earth like she wanted. Ever since then she's always been broken and thinks alay the body of me in my coffin. Put to rest in my loneness and heart ache.