Bitter

Two

The hallway Darren and James turned down was narrow and small. The floor was lightwood and James's shoes made small ripple sounds whenever he took a step. There were three doors to his left and one to his right. They were pretty much all closed. One door did catch his eye, however.

The door look freshly painted. It was bright white, it pretty much illuminated the dim hallway he was walking in. There was a doggy gate in front of the door, its purpose obvious. There were no papers or damages on the smooth surface of the door. James wondered if it was somebody's room in it. Did Darren have a wife? Children? He wasn't sure.

He almost knocked into Darren when he stopped abruptly. He opened a door in front of him and held the door for James to walk in first.

"Thanks." He muttered.

An instant smell of cinnamon hit James first. His senses fluttered with the blissful smell. Darren's office was actually pretty big, almost the size of his living room.

There was a maroon colored sofa right next to the door on the left when he walked in. That was obviously the place where people lay down and tell their feelings to someone. Or mostly just speaking out their feelings because they've been holding them in for too long.

James promised himself to never reach the point where he had to lay on a couch and speak into a never ending void of pain.

He remembered back to his previous doctor, therapist, whatever they were called. Of course James was much better than he used to be but he just didn't care anymore. He felt happy, content. He threw his pills away two months ago.

"Please, sit." Darren spoke behind him. James walked over to the brown leather chair in front of a neatly organized desk and plopped down. He was tempted to reach into his pocket for his phone and check the time again. As if checking the time made this process go faster.

It's funny how people think doing certain things and having fun makes time pass faster. It's all an illusion, they just train themselves to think time goes faster just so they don't have to suffer through it all. But suffer through what, exactly? James couldn't tell.

Darren sat down on his spinning black chair, the cushion creaking under his weight. Darren sighed and leaned his elbows on the desk.

"How are you feeling?" James almost laughed out loud at the question. Was that the question he was seriously asking him? James has been asked this so many times that it was almost second nature to just mutter a quick 'I'm okay.'

But James wanted to think about his answer for once. How was he really  feeling? He was content.

Nothing was stressing him out but nothing was making him overly happy.

"Balanced." Was his answer. He felt odd saying it but he felt the need to be honest to Darren. He liked him.

"Interesting. So I see you're sort of a quiet kid." James shrugged. Maybe he was quiet but it wasn't because he didn't want to talk to anyone. He just became so used to being there for himself.

"Something like that." He responded. Darren was taking notes down on a piece of paper. It made James sort of feel out of place. He knows he's being analyzed but it's just odd when someone is writing down everything you say.

"What would you say stresses you out?" James had to think hard about that question also. He was a very good soccer player. He recently got back into the groove of being himself again in the beginning of July. After his sixteenth birthday, he decided he didn't want to give up soccer.

"School, maybe. I'm not that good at math." He sighed. He was conflicted on the true answer to that question. School did stress him out, especially during sophomore year when his... issue begun.

"Do you have any methods that help you deal with the stress of school?" This was a question James definitely knew how to answer.

"My mom is pretty good at boosting my confidence. She makes me truly feel that I am smart and that it's okay to fail. Everyone fails." He was talking to the ground more than to Darren. He felt awkward responding to these questions. Some of his friends would probably laugh at his girly answers.

"That's great, your mom has a really good sense of character. But I want to know, what caused such trauma last year?" This was something James was nervous to answer. He knew he was depressed and he remembers every single particle of what happened.

It was just a normal Friday, soccer was stressing him out a lot and he just had to get away. A few kids he knew on the lacrosse team offered marijuana to him when they heard about his situation. Despite his mom's warnings of ever trying drugs, he did anyway. He swears to himself that he had never felt more stressed than that specific day.

"Peer pressure." Was all James said. He knew the sessions were a big help into putting him back on his feet but it was one of the hardest topics for him to talk about. He cringes to himself when he thinks back to when nobody mattered to him anymore.

When he sulked in the dark, skipped school, quit soccer. It was too much to bear. Even when he had to take his pills, it freaked him out. And all of this happened in the span of a year.

"I see." Was all Darren said.

"I honestly don't feel that never ending pit of sadness anymore. I just feel overwhelmed. These sessions just make it hard to bear sometimes." James had no idea where he got the sudden urge to speak but he sensed a flood of relief filling in.

Darren didn't look surprised at his sudden use of words. He was probably used to it.

"That's great, James. I believe you. You're definitely not depressed but that feeling of being overwhelmed and that difficulty of speaking about your depression is what we're trying to overcome in the near future." He pushed his notepad and pen away. He laced his hands together and put his elbows back onto the desk, leaning forward. He smiled lightly, his eyes glinting with kindness. James tried to decipher Darren's answer to him. His words made sense.

The rest of the session was mainly small exercises, focusing on James's main feeling of being overwhelmed. He was just glad he wasn't being asked how he was feeling every few seconds.

The session flew by in no time when Darren pushed his chair back and stood up from his desk.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, James. I'm very pleased with the success we created today." He smiled, his wrinkles creasing majorly in the corners of his eyes.

"Thanks for the help, Doctor Crossing." James spoke, meaning his words.

Darren led James back down that same hallway. The door that caught James's eye before was opened ajar. The doggy gate was still guarding the entrance but the empty room came into view.

There was a closet right by the door when it was opened, grey walls were marked with tiny white lights, encircling the whole entire room. The bedspread was pure white with several different colored pillows thrown on top. It was definitely a girl's room.

He didn't see much since he was walking but he assumed Darren must have a daughter, that must be the answer.

He turned to the right when the hallway ended, the bright living room coming into view. His mother stood, looking weary and tired, but smiling brightly.

"Ready to go?" She asked enthusiastically. James nodded and made his way towards her.

"James is a bright young man, Amanda. I look forward to seeing him soon." He smiled, inserting his hands into the pockets of his khaki shorts.

"Same to you, Mr. Crossing." His mom responded, waving to him and guiding James out the door.

Before James took a step, Dani ran up next to him and began to lick his fingers. James smiled down at the cute lab and patted her golden fur. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, her brown eyes glinting. She almost seemed to be smiling at James, a warm fuzzy feeling began to grow and expand inside of his chest.

"Dani will always be here." Darren laughed, grabbing the dog's dark purple collar and holding her back while James and his mom made their exit.

With one final goodbye, the door shut and Dani's sweet face was gone.