Why The Fuck Are You Hot?

Chapter 1: Hot Italians Falling From The Sky

It's not everyday you see an Italian argue with you. Honestly, I would've hugged him by now but instead I was too busy fighting with him. Why you say? Well...

It all started this morning when Mrs. Monroe, the principal, said we would be able to teach the school about different cultures. I was buzzing with excitement because I'm so passionate about my culture. I wanted people to understand the heritage of Spain. Ruby, my best friend, helped me prepare for the presentation that was being held in lunch. Now, I knew what I was signing up for. I'm as ignored as the terms and conditions and known for being the most anti-social, most awkward girl around. Honestly I couldn't be happier about reputation. No drama for the llama!

Anyway, as lunch came around, I was up first. Everyone stared at me, knowing this was going to be a wild ride already if it included me. Yay?

I was going smoothly until Mr. Dickhead decided to interrupt by saying that our culture sucked and that it should be his turn already. Well, to be exact...

"Get off the stage! You are boring me with endless lectures! It's my turn now!" Said a boy with a faint Italian accent. I looked around to see who it was and I couldn't recognize him. He was far away so I couldn't tell how he looked. I could only make out a dark green shirt.

"Listen, poop shirt, I couldn't be any less interested in how to make pizza! You better sit your butt down and wait your turn!" I yelled. Everyone started laughing but then I started feeling bad. I just made fun of his culture. As I started softening up, he decided to infuriate me some more.

"At least knowing how to make pizza is useful! You're talking about shit! Please stop, my ears are literally bleeding," the boy said. Things got kinda funny after that. We started arguing and guess what? Me, the one with straight A's and NO detentions in her life had to go to the office with dickhead himself.

I was pretty tall myself but standing next to him made me feel like an ant. God this kid was huge. Now that I saw him up close, I was wondering why no one notices him. The kid was hotter than Miami in summer. His name was Alessandro Abbate and he was literally a nobody in our school. In fact, I've never seen him before now. He wasn't even classified as the loner or nerd. He was just there, existing like usual.

I took off my glasses and started wiping the fog away from them. It was so cold in New York and wearing glasses didn't help one bit. Since I'm practically blind and a clumsy idiot I bumped into Alessandro. You might think, he catched you before you fell right?
Well, no, he didn't because this isn't some cliche, hey, fuck me, because you know I love you, type of thing. No, this is my life. Filled with bad luck and awkwardness not even Iron Man can stand!

I fell on my butt while Alessandro stood there, waiting for me to react.

"Wow, the Awkwardess is a klutz. Get your glasses and let's get moving if you don't want to be in more trouble." He said.

"Mind telling me where I dropped them? And awkwardess?" I grunted, seeing different colored blurs. Alessandro picked them up but left me sitting on the floor. I picked myself off the ground and he handed me my glasses.

"Well, it's like a mix of princess and awk-"

"I know what you meant, okay?"

"Aside from being so strange you're grumpy? What a combination!" Finally, we arrived at the office. I was seriously wondering after all these years of hiding, why does he suddenly call for attention? Was he tired of being unnoticed?

"You two, sit!" Said the amazing principal, Mrs. Monroe! Her curly blonde hair stood out in all directions, of course still looking better than my frizzy mess. Her mean green eyes looked at us carefully then...

"YOU GUYS ARE SICK! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PERFORM A STUNT LIKE THAT?! NOW WE WON'T BE HEARING ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN 'hey, did you see the fight with Isabella and-'"

"My names is Isabelle!" I said interrupting her. Why did I do that? Maybe because I was all worked up from arguing with dickhead.

"Ms. Caba, I don't appreciate you interrupting me in the middle of my LECTURE!" Mrs. Monroe said, making sure to scream the word 'lecture' as loud as she possibly could.

"She's actually more entertaining than you right now, and that isn't good at all so please talk when there's something interesting to say."Alessandro said, calmly. I guess me or the principal didn't expect that because we didn't say anything for 2 minutes.

"You know, I really need to pee, so if you don't mind can I just leave?" I said, breaking the silence. Clearly, Mrs. Monroe didn't like that and flared her nostrils at me. They were so large, I'm pretty sure some bats were probably sleeping in there.

"No! I haven't finished yet!" She shouted with a glare.

"But I need to pee!"

"No! You're probably just trying to get away but nuh-uh, NOT HAPPENING!"

"My body needs to burst out its fluids!"

"Listen, as much as I love hearing about body fluids, just let us go! Everyone has a good argument here and there! Hell, you're having one right now!" Alessandro said. The principal shook her head.

"Hey, Wrinkle-Face, get me out of here! I might as well pee on you since you're the closest thing to a toilet, all full of shit!" I said. What did I just do? This wasn't me. I could hear Alessandro trying not to laugh but instead started cracking up.

"Isabella, what happened to you?" Mrs. Monroe said. She looked so worried but that didn't stop me that day.

"It's Isabelle, goddamit!" I said forgetting that she was very religious.

"Just get out! I can't handle this anymore!" The principal screamed.

Now, here I am, in the park. I've run my hands through my hair so many times it probably looks worse that it usually does. My glasses kept on fogging up because of the cold. Let me tell you, I am in love with everything about the cold. Wearing cozy sweaters and fuzzy socks. Doing whatever is possible to feel warm. My idea of paradise. This very place in the park helped me think whenever I was going through bad moments and right now I was.

I have never acted that way with a teacher. Dickhead has never acted that way with anyone. I'm so embarrassed because I was known as the respectful student. What did I do? No,what did he do to me?

I decided to get up and walk home before my aunt started complaining. It doesn't make it any better that all she would be saying is "coño esta chicita!"
Hispanics just simply don't have chill, including me, of course. Maybe my Hispanic part of the brain was controlling me today. Wait is that even possible?

I walk to where the grocery store is and take a turn to get to my neighborhood. Weird thing was, in back of the grocery store, I see Alessandro. I guess he works here because he was carrying boxes inside the grocery store.

"Hey, Alessandro! Hurry up, you turtle! My god, can you go any slower?" Shouted a middle-aged guy with facial hair. Then a whole group of people started taunting him but he looked so confident, I didn't know he did it.

"You're stupid, kid! Trying to ignore us won't get rid of us." One of them said.

"Maybe bug spray will," he said, smiling. I had to bite my tongue to keep me from laughing. Well that did it. They all left him alone. He continued putting boxes.

I stopped hiding and walked down to my neighborhood, posture straight and I had a glare on for anybody who dares to talk to me. Alessandro saw me, gave me a strange look, and then kept on working. I walked so confidently, people looked at me in awe. I've never walk like this so I was surprised myself. Alessandro, you're lucky I'm a nosy girl.