Shearwater

Chapter 11

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It started out as the perfect birthday party, and ended with a dead girl. I was still on an emotional high from the day at the beach, and every time Sebastian looked my way I felt butterflies in my stomach. Jackie thought he liked me. And why else would he show up at my house, or hang out with us all day long, and then come back to Aedan's house for dinner? It's like he had nowhere else he wanted to be. The constant dull ache in my heart since my parents' death was starting to loosen up, and instead of feeling guilty about that, I felt relieved. I knew my parents wouldn't want me to be morose. I was glad to be feeling happy for a change. Of course the two glasses of wine probably had something to do with my sudden optimism.

Derry was telling a funny story and I laughed out loud, snorting into my wine glass. Aedan watched me curiously, probably counting the cups of wine I drank. I'm sure he would have cut me off after the first one if it weren't my birthday. Sebastian smiled politely but never really relaxed. But it was my party. I could laugh if I wanted to. For just one day, I was going to pretend to be a normal, happy, teenage girl.

Aedan had made pasta with chunky vegetables in the sauce, and the kitchen still smelled like rosemary and oregano. Aedan went into the living room and returned with a deck of cards, with Miscreant weaving between his legs. "Fancy a game of 25's?"

Sebastian nodded, "It's been awhile but I'm sure it'll come back to me."

"I've never actually played," Jackie said.

"I learned once but I forget," Derry said. "How's it go: Five, Jack, Ace of Hearts, Ace of Trumps, Royals, Highest in Red, Lowest in Black? Something about robbing and reneging?"

It took a few rounds before I got the hang of it, and then I held my own. When I finally reached twenty-five points and won a round, Aedan decided it was a good place to stop. He went into the kitchen and brought out an upside down applesauce cake with walnuts and white frosting, and a single lit candle sticking out of it.

"Happy birthday to you..." Aedan started, and the others joined in, clapping their hands. I honestly didn't know what to wish for. For the last four years I'd wished to become a professional singer. That goal seemed far away now, though I hadn't given up on it. And wishing for it again, when I had so little control over my future, seemed scarier, like I'd jinx it somehow. And I couldn't handle thinking about it. If I wasn't a singer, what else could I do with my life? I had no idea, and the enormity of my ignorance threatened to break down the walls of sanity I'd been trying to hold up over the last few weeks. So I decided to keep it simple.

What else did I want? I glanced up at Sebastian, and he smiled at me. I was grinning so hard when I blew out my candle, I had to bite my lip to stop. After we'd had cake, it was getting stuffy in the small house, so we went outside for some air. Derry lit a cigarette and shared it with Jackie. The coastal air was fresh and a little biting. A sudden gust of wind took my breath away and I shivered. Sebastian took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. I suddenly felt warmed up, from the inside out. Jackie raised an eyebrow at me, then grabbed Derry's arm.

"We're going back inside, but you guys take your time," she said, pulling him into the house.

Sebastian made no move to leave. I could feel his body next to mine, my right hand just inches from his left, as we turned together and looked out over the sea. It was almost black now, the horizon marked only by the beginning of the starry sky. The moon had been full a few nights ago, now it was waning. I put my hands in the pockets of Sebastian's coat, and my fingertips brushed against something. I pulled it out—a shiny piece of blue ribbon.