Waking up, finding myself a mess, a broken toy that can't be fixed. Not being able to have a night where sleep is a pleasure not a pain or waking covered in sweet for the night brings me memories of past pain. Finding the little energy I have to finally lift my life less body from my bed, smiling a little realising that I have no need to remember the past, reliving it.
Walking over to my shower, turning it on and waiting for it to heat up. As soon as it's warm I undress from my pyjamas and walk under the water, letting it cover my pale body. The aroma of my body wash was a dreamy mix of vanilla and milk, foaming around my feet. I turn the shower off stopping the many jet streams of hot water and wrapping my warm fluffy purple towel around my body then walking over to my wardrobe to find an outfit for school. Picking a pair of black jeggings with rips to make affects and a tank top, putting my legs in my pants one by one and putting my top on over my head and then walking over to my long mirror hanging from the back of my door. I look over my slender body, my messy brown hair and pale acne covered face saying 'it will go away someday' then placing my white ankle socks on then my black converse over top and making my way down stairs to find my mother, father and my brother Alex sitting in the old Victorian styled dining area eating their breakfast that consists of fruit, cereal, juice and toast.
"Morning H" mum said, H is my nickname for her ever since I was little kid.
"Mhh" I mumbled.
"Harvey has horrible high-tops" Alex said smirking and my father laughing as I look down at my shoes.
"Alex antagonises uhh..." I was stuck there.
"Got you! By the way I'm taking you to school" I just shrugged in reply.
I wasn't looking forwards to school it's not like I'm bullied every day just every now and then but, the pain and memories people put me through is painful, terrifying. Wrong. But I could not raise my voice higher than theirs I couldn't push myself to give them back the pain and suffrage that had caused me no I just smiled, turned around and walked away knowing that's the way my parents taught me and they would be disappointed if I were to let all my pain out to them, tell them what it's like. My thoughts were loud but my ambition, my ambition was to low my fear would get the best of me making me look small.
I was interrupted by Alex telling me to get in the car or I'm walking so I pick up my bag and walk out the old oak doors of our house. Walking over to where my brother is waiting I drift back into thoughts back into the horrible memories of the many years I have to put up with people who look at me in disgust, hate and yet still realising what it's doing to my life they still carry on, they take my glasses that knock out my books, they pull at my chair and all for what I don't know. Still thinking I walk up the Alex's car and get in. It's an old styled jeep it is blue on the outside and black on the inside and you could defiantly tell he loved his car it's always clean and tidy washed a sparkly.
