Ordinary

Ordinary… A word I used to believe I knew the meaning of. Life really sucks… and if there was a god, why was I doing what I was about to do? Why had I committed the ultimate sin, all those months ago? What sort of god allowed that sort of crap? I stood before him, bold as brass, a non existent wind stirring my dark, silky hair. He stares at me, his face a perfect mask of indifference. But deep down, I could feel his curiosity. Feel it rolling off him in invisible waves, lapping at my subconscious. I take a deep breath, readying myself for the tidal wave of hate, the fury, the screaming… He’s going to hate me. I just know it. How could he not? I’m a monster. At least then people will know. With my deepest darkest secret out, I could finally die in peace… Let it all be over. If there is a god, wherever he is, I prey he has mercy on my soul.

 

 

 

Once upon a time, I was ordinary. Nothing remarkable, just an ordinary person. My long, curly black hair... My bright green eyes, ringed with dark purple... Caused by a fist or a lack of sleep? It varied. Ancient tales of sorrow and woe zigzagged up and down my arms, a thousand attempts that always failed. Ahhh… The good life… The days when I was just a small town girl, unpopular and in love.  It was a normal, rainy day… so predictable for the little town in Scotland. The first and last day of forever welcomed me, lulling me into a false sense of security as my usual routine flowed same as ever. Wake up, get dressed, fall down the stairs, have a rather un-nutritional breakfast of whatever was left from last nights take away and get beat on by a rather hung over dad. This was what I thought to be normal anyway. How was I to know that not everyone’s dad was an abusive, foul mouthed alcoholic who enjoyed nothing more then beating his daughter senseless? I walked to school, a spring in my step. It was the first day back from the Easter holidays, and like I did every holiday, I planned to change. To fit in. To be welcome within society. How was I ever so short sighted? How had I ever even thought I could fit in? How had I ever even thought I could be welcome within society? I reached the local paper shop, the hang out spot, where the majority of children from my school bought their goods before travelling to school. I cringed internally, shifting my head so that a fraction of hair fell to cover my face. There stood the most popular boy in school. His posse present and his adoring fans gathered near by, arguing over who he had smiled at and who he liked most. Adam Lee. To his right, his best friend, and the boy I believed to be the most beautiful being in the universe. Jasper Michaels… To Adam’s left, stood a muscular, sandy haired boy with bright blue eyes. He was laughing throatily at a remark from Adam. This was Emmett… Emmett Lucifer Meades. Well, his middle name wasn’t actually Lucifer, but I liked to think it was. The boy was vile. Jasper stared into space, his dark, golden hair glinting in the shops neon welcome sign... His honey-suckle eyes always made me melt inside… Admittedly, I did like Jasper a bit more then the most unpopular girl in school should… Anyone wise in school politics would know that the social groups just don’t mix. A popular boy and an unpopular girl? No way. Not possible. It just couldn’t work out in my favour… I walked past the gaggle of girls, ducking into the shop. I hadn’t been noticed. Phew. Seconds later Adam entered, his dark brown hair plastered around his face, dripping wet. Adam was too cool for an umbrella. Personally, I didn’t see why he was so great. He was jerk. A cool jerk, but a jerk nonetheless. Jaspers face kept its usual, thoughtful pallor as he followed his best friend loyally.

“Did you hear?”

“What?”

“Rebecca said she saw the new girl arrive at the gates earlier on her way out of her house!”

“It’s true! I did!”

“REALLY? What does she look like???”

I don’t usually show interest in the local fan girls’ gossip, but something about the topic lured me in. I hid behind one of the sweet racks, listening curiously.