It's been a year without you. A year that has gone by so fast. A year I wish I could have spent it with you. It was only a short time that I've known you before that bitch took you away from me, took you from all of us. Not known much about the situation, I still carried on with my everyday life like nothing was happening, not known that shortly you were going to be taken away from me. The night we got the call dad answered the phone, they told him it would be better if he came now, because you weren't going to be here much longer. I remember the feelings when we came up and visited you in the hospital. So helpless, unable to move from the hospital bed. I didn't want to be there not because I didn't want to, it's because I couldn't. I couldn't stand seeing you in that state. That day we spent 7 hours at the hospitla with you, you slowly gaining concious, and then losing it. I sat there and did 3 puzzles, and they weren't the small ones either.
I sat there waiting for the time to leave, not more I could do. I loved you and I couldn't sit there and watch the pain anymore. It broke me.. The night of the call, Dad and Mum left as soon as they could to come with you. Madison and I sat at home, just incase it wasn't your last day with us. You took a heart attack and the Cancer was only spreading. Only getting worse, it was finally your time. June 23, 2012 at 5:25 am, was the time anyone saw you alive, Mum by your bedside, you got what you wanted. Madison and I both passed. Mum was holding your hand with your last breath you left us. Two crows flew off the top of the IWK, they knew you were gone. I got the call, I wasn't grabbing the concept that you actually were gone, and I wasn't able to see you before you did. On June 23, at 4 pm, we finally was Nova Scotia bound. We are coming Nanny. We were almost there when it finally hit me. You were really gone. When we finally got there Mum asked me to go into your room, I stood in your door frame. That's when it started, I ran out to the camper, climb up on my and I let all out, everything.
I couldn't believe that you were gone. I would give anything for you back right now. I just really miss you okay? Is that a crime? I hope not, because living without you everyady has been the hardest thing that has ever happened. Even then my worst break up. That's hard to beat. Nanny, I want to let you know, I've been having difficulties, but I have support from another family. They are treating me like their own. Mum kicked me out again, but I 'm still going strong. Tonight is going to be another sleepless night known that you aren't going to be with me tomorrow. Known that it's going to be a hard day for me. No one is going to be around tomorrow. All I have left is my boyfriend, he is the reason I'm still roaming the earth, if it wasn't for himm I'd be with you in the palace in the sky. I'm thankful that I'm still here with him. Everyone has turned against me, how am I supposed explain to him what is going on without him thinking I'm wierd or not right somewhere in life. I know you would make father understand what I'm going through if you were still here. I know you wouldn't let him treat me the way that he is now.. I know you would have talked him out, I know you would have made him stop.
I'm now sitting thinking about you, as the tears roll down my face. I miss you . I want you back, I want you to be better, and not away from the family. Sometimes we cant always get what we want. I want to let you know how much I really miss you nanny. I want you to know, you are the reason I am the strong person you look down on today. I want you to know, I will carry on the bravery, strength, and the encouragement you gave everyone. I am going to be as strong as you are, I'm going to be there for everyone like you are, even we your farts smelt like death. Well nanny, I'm going to go, I will write you again soon. I promise.
