FILLOS Elizabeth Tudor: Ancestry of Sorcery

Part 16

September 1542

Hatfield House, Hertfordshire

Though the day of my birth had come and gone weeks before, this celebration finally made me feel that I was older. I felt nine, though I did not exactly know what a nine-year-old was supposed to feel like. It was strange, as if I had an inner clock dinging, "You're nine, you're nine."

I noticed that the night was not as dark as it should be as I walked to the barn to get Larkin, but my mind was busy, so I did not look to the sky to see why. Between a letter and gift from my mother, news of the late Queen Catherine and her dastardly deeds, knowing my Father's retaliation against her, Robert, and my birthday, I felt as though I were swimming in a mire.

Kat was close behind me, though tonight she refused to ride with me on account of the long journey she had just returned from. She said she would watch me ride back and forth on the green. I did not think that would be a problem for I only needed the night air and the moonlight to clear my hectic head.

I walked into Larkin's stall, loving the smell of the stable. My mare, used to my nighttime rides, greeted me with a stomping foot and soft whinny. I slowly placed the bit in her mouth and then the bridle on her head. I stroked her as I did so, reveling in the chores of preparing her for our ride. I stood on a stool, pulled myself onto her bare back, then gently we walked out into the cold night air. She knew what I wanted before I asked her, and when we were out of the stable yard she instantly picked up her pace. Soon we were running through the grass. I felt everything around me, smelled every hint of fragrance in the breeze. As I lifted my face to the sky, I noticed how huge the moon was. My serenity was halted as I stared at the heavenly object. It was the most glorious sight, large and luminous in the dark speckled sky. I could not take my eyes away.

I pulled up on Larkin's reins a little, and when she slowed, I noticed something strange. The moon was pulsating, or rather the light around the moon was pulsating. We stopped now. Blinking rapidly but keeping my eyes heavenward, I saw the light throb and it quickened before my eyes. Then, unbelievably, it increased in circumference to the point that the orb looked twice its normal size. I watched in amazement but completely without fear.

Suddenly a ray of light broke off from the ball in the sky and fell like a star directly toward me. Instinctively I raised my arms, wanting and willing the light to come to me, and come it did. I closed my eyes and the next second, I was hit with warmth, luminosity, and a sensation of wisdom. When I opened my eyes and looked down at myself, I was light. It radiated out of every facet of my skin. I was so bright I was like a small moon shining from the earth. I felt energy and beams of brightness, not only on my outside, but also thudding through my insides, like life's blood, and I knew that I was powerful.

I did not know what the power did or what it was for, but it felt amazing to be endowed with it. I stood for several minutes, basking in my new body. But before long I began to wonder. A million things I wondered. What was happening to me? What was this light? Why did it feel familiar? Why was I not frightened? And the scariest question of all: what would Kat think? My friend surely could see me shining like a beacon in the night.

For a moment I feared she would think I was a sorceress. I suddenly wished the brightness to go out. The moment the thought was firm in my head, the light vanished, instantly and without any warning. The void felt like devastation to my soul. I wanted it back again and willed it to be so with a desire so deep, I flung my hands again in the air toward the moon. The moment I moved toward the light I was again enveloped, and right then I decided that I did not care what people thought of my glowing form. I would never again be without this radiant power flowing through my body.

***

After taking Larkin back to her stall, I walked out to meet Kat and prepared myself for her to have a fit. She was sitting on her bench waiting for me, and as soon as I approached she said, "I do not know if it is the moonlight playing tricks with my eyes, but you look—I don't know."

She squinted at me and I thought, I am glowing brighter than all the candles at Christmas Mass, if that is the difference you are speaking of, but I said nothing.

"Perhaps I should have gone out with you. Your rides always do you so much good, but it did not appear to me that you spent as much time running as you normally do. Why did you stay and stare at the moon so long?" Then she looked embarrassed. "Were you praying, my Lady? Oh, I am sorry for asking. No wonder you look so divine. You have received peace to your soul. I am glad."

She rose, placed her arm around my luminous shoulders, and walked me up to the house.

She did not see it. How could she be this close to me and not feel the power that was inside of me? I was amazed to know she could not, and relieved as well for it meant that no one else should be able to see me this way, and thus, I could obey my desires and stay within the light always.