Losing Grey

•TWO•

                              Grey

     Walking through the ever growing sea of students, I began to get lost in my thoughts again. Mindlessly swimming through students. Thinking what life would be like if I was born somewhere else. If I was born someone else. Thinking of every possible outcome of being someone else. If I'd be shorter, had blue eyes, if I was rich or poor. Once again I was pulled from my thoughts as the late bell rang through the school halls. Walking into the vapid classroom, Mrs. Maddox stopped me in my tracks. "Miss Jefferson, this is the fifth time you've been late this week. Care to explain?" She said with a smirk painted on her face. I wanted so desperately to give a smart remark, but sadly I could not bring myself to do so. " I'm sorry Mrs. Maddox, I wasn't paying attention to the time. It won't happen again." I mumbled walking shyly with my head hung low. Taking my usual seat near the window, I look out admiring the dull colors of the autumn leaves and grass. Watching the cold rain race down the window, the leaves blowing in the wind. I think how the leaves have no control over their paths. They just flow with the wind, not being able to make its own course. I'm like those leaves, just flowing through life with no control. Nothing new happening, just moving when I'm pushed.

     "MISS JEFFERSON!" Mrs. Maddox yelled startling the class and myself. "Yes Mrs. Maddox" I respond with a slight crack in my voice. She just looked at me with anger sketched on her face "Detention." Completely understanding what she meant and why she gave it to me, I nodded and started on my English work. I must've been thinking for awhile because there were only fifteen minutes left of class. The rest of the day I tried to pay attention and not wonder into my mind. The day went slow, as usual. The last bell of the day rang through my ears, finally. Walking down the halls I see people with their friends, laughing and having fun. I've never really had friends, nor did I want them. Don't get me wrong being lonely sucks but being betrayed is far worse.
You never know who will turn on who. Never truly know if they'll tell your darkest secret. That's why I've never bothered. Maybe I just have trust issues... maybe it's the truth.

     Opening the front doors to the school I see Val waiting by her bright orange jeep. Getting in the car she immediately starts questioning me about detention. I gave my teachers Val's number instead because my mother worries too much even over the small things. My mother has enough on her plate, she doesn't need this too. Even if it was a small thing.

Raven starts the never ending questions. "Why did you get detention? Are you sure you're not having trouble? Do you know how many this makes? Are you even trying? Are you even listening?" After she stopped I stayed silent for a second and replied with a slight attitude "Because I was not paying attention in English, I'm sure I'm not having trouble, this makes 7, yes I'm trying, and yes I was listening!" She looked at me and then started the car. Driving Home the whole car ride was silent, no music, no humming, not even a cough. Neither of us wanting to talk, not wanting to look at each other. She just drove. Pulling into the drive way I see that our mother was home. Getting out of the car I look over to see Raven still in her seatbelt and the car still on. "You're not coming in?" I asked a little bit sad. "No, uh, James needs me back at the house." She stated not looking at me. "Oh, um, ok I'll tell mom you said hi." She nodded and pulled out of the drive way. Her husband James was such a needy man. I don't understand how she could have married him, he's so... whiny. But love is stupid and confusing.

     Walking to the front door gathering the mail from the box I'm greeted by Alora. She was a stray until I begged mom to let me keep her. Pushing my way through the door Alora followed behind. Setting the mail down on the kitchen table I yelled "Ma I'm home" I could hear her walking towards the kitchen and around the corner she came. "Hey sugar pie, how was you're day at school?" Terrible! "Great Ma, how about yours?" I faked a smile and I guess she saw right through it. "Grey Celine Jefferson, Do Not lie to your mother." Busted... "Ok well I have trouble paying attention. What they are teaching I already know that stuff and this is the third time I've been switched classes. I don't want to fight with it anymore. I only have a month of school left and I didn't want to bother you with it." She looked shocked at what I had just said. "Oh puddin' there's nothing you could do that would bother me in any way!" I hated that nick name. She walked over to me and hugged me tightly for awhile. After the unnecessary tight hug she grabbed my cheeks with her hands and said "Don't you ever be afraid to tell your Ma something ok!"

                     "Ok Ma, I won't."