Hopeless, worthless, useless, sad, afraid, crushed, uncared for, unloved, lost, empty, shattered, rejected, abandoned.
These aren't even enough words to describe the pain she feels. Bitter hearts and unkind words consume her as she falls deeper into her own sorrow. She feels as if she's lost and falling into a deep dark abyss. She tries to catch the walls and pull herself out, but she fails and falls harder each time.
Everyday she just tries to get by, clinging to the hope that this isn't her reality. That one day she will awaken and it was all just a dream. All the crying and pain wasn't real. Drowning in her own tears, she cries out to God saying "Why am I even here?!? Why was I born in the first place!?!? I just want to die!!!!"
She feels like no one can hear her, or maybe no one is trying to listen. She covers herself in makeup and smiles to mask the real her. To her friends and family she's just fine, a happy teenage girl.....but she's not. She tries to explain her pain, but no one can see it. They can't see beyond the mask. She tries to get help, but nothing is working.
For her a good day would be not breaking down on the floor of her bedroom, sobbing, wanting to die. All she wants is to be completely happy again. No more tears, no more suffering, no more pain. But she doesn't think that will ever be possible. For she lives in a cruel world full of rejection and hatred.
She knows that there will always be people trying to bring her down, crush her spirits and step on her dreams. She looks around and sees it everywhere. She just wants to escape. She finds comfort in her dreams, she's built her own world. Full of happiness and love. She wonders why this isn't her reality.
Each day she tells herself to keep moving forward, just get through another day, just keep breathing, that one day it will all be okay. She doesn't even know what to think, all she knows is
She feels lost
She feels cold
I am broken.....
