When I was young;
I would burn match after match in secrecy because I loved the smell.
I would dig up worms and keep them as my pets, just to see them dry up like beef jerky in their case.
I would touch electrical outlets because I liked how the shock scared me and tingled my nerves.
I would scribble a pen all over the page of a note book in attempts to black it all out completely.
I would pull off the legs of a spider to see how well it could walk with six legs. Or four. Or two.
I was a destroyer
I did these things because I could. Because I kept them secret. Because I was a no good, rotten little girl.
I was sure by the first time I squeezed the guts out of a caterpillar that I was lacking a soul since I left the womb.
I have not yet lost my title, I must remind.
Just because I have added a few more numbers to my years of existence does not suggest that I am now of a judicially clean and holy mind.
I simply destroy myself now.
My penance is thorough and deep. For each one of those legs I pulled off I will be reflected tenfold upon myself.
I'm going to rip myself into tiny little mother fucking pieces.
