I ran away from home last night, again. I don't get it why mum won't do anything about what is happening at home. If she would just tell people about what Gary is doing to us, we wouldn't have to see him ever again. The police would make sure of that. It is just that mum is too scared to tell anyone because Gary might find out about it. She once told me that she never told anyone because she was afraid that Gary would hurt her and me or that she would loose me because the police might think that she would not be stable enough to take care of me, and that loosing me was the worst thing she could ever imagine.
I wish things were as they were before dad moved out. Then we were all happy, mum went out with friends instead of just staying at home so no one would see all of her bruises and I had friends as well, but not anymore. The only reason I am writing in this stupid book is because I don't have any friends to talk to, and also because I maybe, just maybe one day can show it to someone. And if I do I am probably going to show it to someone who is able to help me and my mum. Or else it wouldn't really make a difference.
Well look at that, so typical me, just babbling and not coming to the point. The reason I ran away last night was because it happened again, Gary was screaming to mum about something she did or didn't do and then I heard mum screaming, but not the way Gary had screamed. He had screamed of anger but mum screamed because she was hurt, I cant say I've been more scared than then. Gary had hit mum before but not that hard, because she had never been so badly hurt that she had to scream before. Gary likes to tell mum how terrible she is and tell her how to do things probably but since she is doing everything so perfect he has nothing to get mad about or scream about. I think that is why he is exploding all the time, because there is nothing to complain about.
So, I ran away. I opened my window and jumped out into the freeze cold night. I ran to a little cottage right outside town, because I knew there was never anyone there. I found it a few years back, when my dad had just left. I was so sad that I didn't even want to look at mum and I was only 11 years old at that time. That was when I first started to run away from home. I spent more and more time in the cottage and now I've been here so much that it is starting to feel more like home than our house does. I have cleaned out the cottage because it was full of spider webs, mold and dust. I even put some furniture in it.
As you have probably already figured out from what I have written earlier I spent the night at the cottage. Mum is probably worried, as she always is, because I wasn't at home last night, and even if she is I don't want to go back home. I want to stay here right out side the cottage, just looking at the town starting to wake up. I like being here more than being at home, because at home I have to do every thing perfect, don't drizzle any of the food on the floor, sit strait and stuff like that so Gary won't have anything to become mad about, not that it works though, but anyway, here I am free. I can do what ever I want.
To be honest I don't really see what mum saw in Gary. He looks bad, smells bad, he has a terrible personality and he is violent. Well he didn't show her any of that before he moved in but still. I have never liked Gary, from the moment I first met him I have hated him. I thought he was going to replace my dad back then, but now I know better. Now I hate him for another reason, he is violent against me and my mum. I wish I could think about something else than what is going on back home but I can't. No matter what I try I always end up thinking about Gary or mum or both. I hate it. I hate every thing. I hate my life. Before I used to love my life but now I just hate it. Well now I got to go, I think it is time to get back home.
