Misery (Justin Bieber)

Chapter Five

She had never realized how slowly her days had gone until she ended up on her bed, the following day, waiting for her long lost childhood friend to call her. Thoughts traveled through her mind, circling around her, then disappearing, leaving her mind blank. She doesn't know what to think anymore. She can't admit it to herself no matter what. Her father's journal that still lies, unopened, and untouched by her, on her desk. She is tempted to grab it, and to read all of her father's secrets, one by one. But she can't, and Becca knows this. She knows she won't be able to handle it. All the memories will trigger the tears. She doesn't want to cry. Not now.

It was about five in the afternoon. Justin had promised to take her to dinner after he took his sister to her hockey tournament. She never understood sports. Justin hadn't either, but his sister was athletic like their mother. She had gotten ready early today, which had felt great.

She hesitated when a small knock was placed just outside of her bedroom door. Without looking, she knows it's Justin. He opens the door and she feels the weight of his body leap onto the bed, sinking it down, causing her to fall back, resting her head on his chest. They both laugh as he sits back up, fixing the collar of his blue flannel. He's wearing a big white tee-shirt under it. He jeans are light blue, with many tears ripped into them. Justin pulls his long blonde hair to the side, smiling at Becca, who's eyes are no longer on his eyes, but on his tattoo filled arms. She admires the different flowers and swirls and characters.

"What do these mean?" She asks, pointing at his arms.

"Lots of things. I don't want to talk about them," he gives her a fake laugh and she smiles at him. Justin pulls out his car keys and swings them on his index finger,"Ready to go? My car is parked out front and I-" She cuts him off by shaking her head repeatedly.

Becca had promised herself that she wouldn't ever get into another car ever again. She was mortified of them after her father died. It hurt her to think that he wouldn't think about that, but she can't blame him. How was he supposed to know about her uncontrollable fear of cars?

Tears fall down her face as she thinks about her father. She can't help but crying. Justin pulls her into a big hug, realizing the reason she had been upset.

"I'm sorry Becca,"he whispers, "We don't have to drive if you don't want to. We can walk. I won't make you," she nods and tries to control her sobs.

"It's..it's okay..."she stuttered, sniffling, and trying to recover from her breakdown. She felt bad that she cried in front of Justin. She hadn't meant for him to feel guilty about it.

Justin took her hand into his and squeezed it tight, helping her stand up,"we can stay here for a little while if you like. I have to be home by four tomorrow, so I can stay for a while. If you like."

Becca nodded once more, not thinking about what she had agreed to. Justin sat back on her bed, reaching for the television remote, and turning it on. He surfs through different channels, trying to find something he is somewhat familiar with, as she sits back with him. They are both in silence. She is a bit embarrassed about the scene she had caused. She couldn't help that and he knew it. He didn't blame her.

"Justin?"he turns his head towards her.

"Yeah?"

"What happened to your mom?"

Justin starred at Becca, not wanting to answer her, but he knew he would eventually have to anyways. She sits quietly, waiting for him to tell his side of the story. She wanted to know everything. From start to end, every single detail. She knew he would give her all the information she needed. He had never kept anything from her in the past, so why would he now? She thinks about when she had asked him about his tattoos and how he didn't want to talk about it. Will he do the same about this topic? She hopes not. She wants Justin to be open and honest with her as he used to be.

"After you left, my mum got cancer and the doctors told her she wasn't going to make it. She fought hard to stay alive but she couldn't," his expression fell as he thought about all the memories, the horror. He points to the owl printed on one of his arms,"The owl was my mum's spirit animal. It fit her well. She was always very wise. You know that."

"What happened to you and your sister? What happened to your dad?" she felt bad about asking him to explain so much, but she felt as if she needed to know.

"My dad had already been a very heavy drinker. He got into drugs, and drank a lot more. I didn't want my sister around that shit so I kicked him out, told him to stay with some of his druggie friends. He didn't care what happened to mum. He just wanted money for drugs and alcohol. I went through that whole 'punk' phase, dying my hair, piercings, tattoos. All of it. I made sure my sister got good grades and was able to move on with her life. It's what my mum would have wanted anyways. As for me, during my many phases, I made sure no matter what I did, I never took from anyone. I always wanted to give to people, like mother had always taught me," he took a deep breath and shifted his body towards her's, grabbing both of her hands into his,"I think that maybe getting back in touch with you was a sign, that maybe I could help you. I want to help you. I hate it that your sad. It hurts me to know that I couldn't be there for you. I missed you so much."

She didn't know what to think, nor say to her long lost best friend. She had missed him very much as well, even if she refused to admit it. She knows she can't get too attached to Justin. She doesn't want to end up falling in love with him, like what happens in all of the novels she reads in her spare time. She knows how the story ends. It would never work out. They would both be heartbroken. She doesn't want that for Justin. She knows he deserves so much more than what he has currently. He deserves a wonderful family who can be the to support him, great friends to be able to talk to, and an extraordinarily , beautiful woman to love him truly. She had remained silent, lost in his eyes, and his, lost in hers. She sees his eyes move slowly down to her lips, then back to her eyes. He leans in first, purposely getting closer to her. Her world stops as her heartbeat speeds up. It's racing. She can't do this, she can't get too attached. But she can't help it and she doesn't want to stop him. She closes her eyes as his lips reach her's. His lips had been soft, very soft. Her hands move from his, and she wraps her arms around his neck, while his hands are placed firmly on her hips. She knows that this won't go to far, but even if it started to, even the slightest bit, she wouldn't be able to stop.

Becca starts to remember the old days of her and Justin's friendship. She remembers how close they were. They had always been like a couple. Sure, they had kissed before, but this kiss had felt different to her. It was sweet, welcoming, loving. Justin pulls back, breaking the kiss with a grin. Her hands fall, holding onto his arms, which he hadn't moved an inch. Her eyes never leave his. She was shocked, she really was.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself," Justin started, ruffling his hair with one of his hands. He blushes a bit and she smiles saying, "thank you."

Becca and Justin never actually went to dinner. They ended up ordering a pizza instead, which sounded like the best idea. After awhile, Becca had trouble keeping her eyes open while watching a movie. She never was fond of movies at all. She more so liked the idea of them. But she dealt with it and sat through the movie with Justin the entire time.