Wiggles and the Dog

Chapter 1

Ugh are the only words going through Wiggles's head as he walked along the dark road in the dead of night. He usually went out at night to avoid people but for some strange reason, people decided to have some kind of late night parade. What the hell? Why? Why, on the night that he wants nothing to do with anyone, does everyone decide to just barge in oh so disrespectfully on his silence. He was so close to just sneaking up on the people through the shadows that he was currently residing in and just scare the living daylights out of them to teach them that this was his place.

But no, he was too tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It sounded like some type of nerd thing to have emotions but he was just genuinely tired of stupid broads winding him up, making him think they were worth it, then just leaving him in the dust, no money, no heart. He was just done. So, while he could've put those idiots that were illuminating the entire street with their obnoxious parade in their place, he decided against it and just slunk through the shadows, back to his place.

When he got back, he dropped onto his dusty couch like a rock. He coughed from the dust, soon triggering a chain reaction of coughs. He coughed roughly, sounding like a 40-year old smoker, which, coincidentally, he was. Once he finished hacking out a lung, he picked up his crumpled pack of cigarettes lying on his coffee table that was barely on three legs.

"You know that's bad for you." A voice sounded through the room. Wiggles looked around, soon realizing that the sound had come from his own mouth.

"Wait, what? Why is it any of your business?" He replied gruffly, in his intimidating voice.

The softer, less rough voice responded back. "I'm your conscience. You know, the only sane part of your brain left. I'm telling you, that cigarette is bad for your health."

"Oh, is it?" He replied. "Is it really?"

"Yes, it's terrible for your lungs. It makes them look like they're covered in mold. You don't want moldy lungs."

"Who says I don't? You don't know about my preferences." Wiggles pulled a cigarette out of the box defiantly and stuck it between his lips.

The voice retorted back, muffled, "Go ahead, have diseased lungs and cancer. I'll just say I told you so."

"What makes you think I'll listen to you?"

"I'm the voice in your head. If you don't listen to me, you won't listen to anyone."

"I pride myself in not listening to anyone."

"Then, go ahead."

"Fine." He lit the cigarette and watch the end burn. He started to suck the smoke in defiantly but stopped. The voice had stopped talking to him and he sighed in relief. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and smushed it into the table.

"You should really get an ashtray." The voice came back, a somewhat haughty tone to it. Wiggles tensed up.

"What the hell do you want?" He grumbled under his breath.

"I'm here to let you know that you need to get your life together. Wiggles, look where you live."

He looked around at his dingy apartment with the dim lights and broken furniture. Nearly everything he owned was broken in some way. His blinds were bent, his carpet torn, the wall littered with holes from his frequent anger tantrums. He shrugged.

"So what?"

"Look how you dress."

He looked at his clothes; the black blazer dirty, his jeans stained, his bowtie tied all wrong.

"I don't see what you're saying."

"Look at how you act. You brush off your problems and they just get bigger!" The voice was starting to raise in pitch despite just being a voice in a strange clown's head.

"What do you suggest I do, huh? I haven't had a job in months. No one comes over. What's the point? Can't you just let me wallow?"

"No, I can't. I am your conscience and I am conscious enough to know that you are not happy."

"That doesn't answer my question, though. How am I, some lowly clown, supposed to raise myself up from the equivalent of hell on my own?

"You get a dog."

(A/N: I know this doesn't really sound like how Wiggles talks but I tried. I hope you like it. This will be a somewhat short story with only a few chapters but I'll flesh it out as much as I can. Thanks for reading!)