Like Droplets We Fall

Part Eight - Christmas Revelations

Santa Tell Me, If You're Really There, Dont Make Me Fall Inlove Again If He Wont Be Here , Next Year -- Ariana Grande "Santa Tell Me" #ThisIsAClue

Hiiii there guys ! So THE BIG REVEAL IS HERE! I really hope you enjoy. As I said these typa stories are not what I write but I just wanted to explore my literary tongue and see whete it took me. BE WARNED :: There is a change from second speaker to first speaker.

Enjoy,

- A

************************************

Christmas. My favourite holiday.

As a child I remember opening up presents on Christmas morning with warm egg-nog between the palm of my hands, sensing the twinkle in the eyes of my family. The grand christmas tree with the golden fairy on top adorned the corner of the house. Red, green, and golden bells held on to dear life on the branches of the succulent pine. Their strings harnessed forever on pine. Cranberry & popcorn strings circulate around the tree, swirling and curling at every step. Mama makes them. We just help.

We.

This will be our firat Christmas without her. My sister. My darling, beautiful sister.

He tells me not to worry. He tells me it wasnt my fault. It was her time to go. All his words seem to bury deep inside of me. I want to believe him. I want to believe I wanst the one carelessly driving. But I was.

I killed her.

Nothing but thick guilt laces itself around every inch of me. If only. Funny word right?. If.

If i only had driven properly

If only I had said goodbye

If only i would have loved her more

If only .

His words were like nectar. Sweet, sticky nectar.They embrace me with love & acceptance. All I can do is smile. Smile for him. Smile for my mother. Smile for me dead sister.

Tomorrow is Christmas. I call up my mother to let her know to set a place for him. To let my mother know I have someone to live for. Someone that loves me unconditionally. Life without him, without his touch would be meaningless. Baseless. Worthless.

Love like his makes the world go round.

His love reassures me that everything in the world will be okay. It will be right and good. Maybe not today, but someday. The atriums of my heart beat his name & his name only. Every inch of my body knows it. Ive made sure of it.

My mother sounds... skeptical. Her wobbly tone makes me cautious. Maybe shes just depressed about my sister. I'm sure thats it. Tears spring out of my eyes. And suddenly we're both crying. For her daughter & my sister. I can here her lips curling over the phone, letting out huffed sobs. My mother. What didnt she do for us?. What didnt she give us?. My mother could bring the world to my feet. Until my sister was born. Her miracle baby. And I've made my peace with that. Her love for my sister burnt like a blue, stark flame. Where as our bond was a flickering one, waiting to be snuffed out .

************************************

Christmas morning came and very very sexy santa with a white beard, red hat , dressed in black jockey underwear brought me my present. He sauntered into the room like santa on an invisible slay as his bare feet slapped against the floor. My stomach ached for help and I laughed again, and again, and again. He shot me that dangerous million mega-watt grin as he place a square , black box into my palms.