Day 2
I don't know what I did. I tried so hard. I didn't even know anything was wrong until she...she...she left me. Four years. Four years of memories, laughter, shared drinks, smiles, and great nights: gone. What could I have done to keep her? Is someone else making her happier? I can't help but feel this is all my fault. I have so many questions I can't ask. I would beg for her to come back but she said she would be happier this way. I've always put her happiness before mine. A guess normal guy would just try and get a rebound, but all I can think about is her. I can't handle remembering right now.
Day 4
I may be developing a drinking problem. Every night I've found solace at the bottom of a bottle. Everyone tells me that forgetting isn't the answer, but then what is? It surely isn't sitting at home sober every night, longing for her touch into the early hours of the morning, or working longer and harder hours to distract myself. I've tried those things and all it's doing is turning me into a puppet with no strings.
Day 10
I no longer have to drink to keep myself sane. I've shut everyone out. They're not helping, just giving me the same advice. Same words, different mouth. I couldn't possibly live with these memories or try to think of her. I'll never be able to have what we had again. I'm done letting people in. No one is going to break me again like this.
Day 30
I've been a lot better. I've had my nights, but I've stopped thinking of her every day. Well I think about her a lot, maybe it just doesn't consume my every thought. People have forced themselves back into my life and I couldn't be more grateful. Things are looking up for the first time in awhile! I've got support now and I know who my true friends are.
Day 45
I saw a picture of her with another guy. Someone I know too. It hurt so fucking bad. I don't know what to do. I'm going out. I'm going to sleep with the first girl I can.
Day 46
I regret all I did last night. It wasn't her and no girl could ever be a replacement, but at this point I'm not so sure I want one though...
Day 60
There's someone else. She's sweet and has been here for me through it all. I don't think I could have survived all of this without her. But I'm not completely over her. I almost feel guilty. I know I shouldn't because she left me, but I guess I still have the feeling of attachment. I'm not sure what to do now. I'm so confused about how I should feel and what to do with my emotions.
Day 73
I'm only in love with the memory of her at this point but I still can't let go. I want to move on. There's someone better for me now that I think could make me really happy. I just don't know how to let go... I wonder if she's happy. I can't help but think about what she's doing and who she's with sometimes.
Day 75
I got trashed again. I needed to clear my mind.
Day 80
The more time I spend with this girl, the easier it is to forget...her. She's so easy to be around and it's so effortless the way she makes me happy. I think back to the way I thought I was in love. With her it never felt this easy. She makes me feel so alive again, and I'm so relieved: relived to think I wasn't so stubborn and hard headed and dead set on never letting myself experience love again. I think it's time to let go.
Day 90
I don't know what I did. I have no idea how on earth I did anything to find someone so amazing. Asking her out was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. All I thought about the entire time leading up to it was how nervous I was before I asked...her...out. I can't forget all about her, but that's ok. We went our separate ways and it was great while it lasted. I can say I'm finally where I want to be for awhile and this is the best feeling ever.
