I woke up about ten minutes ago,and I felt like absolute crap.All I wanted to know was what happened.I had spoken to the nurse,but we were now waiting for the doctor to come back down because he needed to explain everything to us.I was holding one of Simon's hands,our fingers linked together.It was really quiet because we were both staring at the cot in front of me bed.Our little girl was laying fast asleep in it.
"She looks like a little angel." I whisper.
"She's perfect." He whispers back.
I look up when there was a light tap on the door,and the doctor walks in,closing the door behind himself.
"Hiya Ms Cole,Mr Cowell."
I just look at him,knowing that he's the one who's gonna tell us what's happened.I could already tell by his face that it wasn't good news.
"Please can you just tell us what's going on."
I hear him sigh,and I can see him thinking,probably about how he's gonna tell us this news.
"I'm really sorry to tell you this,but you were bleeding alot from the womb,and they couldn't stop the bleeding."
I feel me breath hitch,already knowing what was coming.
"We had to remove your womb.I'm so sorry."
I feel Simon squeeze me hand,but I just felt completely numb.I felt the warm tears trickle down me face,but there was no point wiping them away,cause even more were just gonna appear.
"If you have any questions,need any help or support,please just ask."
"I can't have anymore children can I?"
"No.I'm sorry Ms Cole."
I close me eyes,lying me head back onto the pillow.
"I'm going to leave you both to talk.I will be back shortly,but if you need me before,just press that button."
I listen as his footsteps get closer to door,the door creaks open,before closing again.As soon as the door shuts,I just burst out into tears,feeling Simon's arms wrap around us protectively.
------
"Simon,if you're gonna leave us,please go now."
"Hey,where's this coming from?"
"I can't give you what you want.We can't have anymore kids.I've completely wrecked everything!"
"Hey,shh! You haven't done anything wrong,it's not your fault."
I feel him place a kiss on me forehead.
"You want a family Si,and I can't give you that!"
"I want you Cheryl! That's all I've ever wanted.You're the woman of my dreams,and encase you haven't noticed,we have got a family.You've just given birth to a beautiful baby girl,and that's our baby over there!"
I look up for the first time in a while,looking back at the cot at the end of me bed,seeing our baby girl with her eyes open.I smile as she cries a little,before closing her eyes again,a pout firm on her lips.
"I'm not going anywhere." Simon whispers,placing a kiss on me lips.
I feel a few tears fall down me cheeks at his words.
"I love you." I whisper.
"I love you too,and I always will."
He gently wipes me face,before placing another kiss on me lips.
"Could you pass us our daughter please?"
"Of course I can."
I watch as he walks over to the cot,gently picking her up,laying her in his arms.He walks back over to us,carefully placing her in me arms.I stare down at her,just looking at every part of her,thinking how perfect she is.Me little princess.
"Hope." I whisper.
I look up at Simon,giving him a small smile.
"Hope Alexis Cowell.What do you think?" I say quietly.
"It sounds --- perfect.Just like her."
------
It was a few hours later,and me friends and family had just left the hospital.They absolutely adore Hope,and me Mam said she was a mini me.I didn't even know they had flown over,but as soon as they found out I had gone into labour,they ended up getting the next flight they could get.I had found out I was allowed home tomorrow,cause they wanted to make sure I was okay overnight.I had been on a little walk around the hospital,fed Hope for the first time,and I had also explained to all me family and friends what happened during the birth.I had a little cry with me Mam and the girls about everything,cause they all knew how much I wanted a big family.Simon's been amazing though,and he knows exactly what's going through me mind.I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve someone like him.
"Sweetheart,do you want to talk?"
I give him a small smile.
"It's okay,I'm just getting me head around it all."
I move over in the bed,and I pat the space next to us,giving Simon a smile.
"I'll have a cuddle though."
He smiles back at us,before slipping his shoes off,and climbing up next to us.I place a kiss on his lips.
"I love you." I say quietly,looking into his eyes.
"I love you too." He whispers back,putting a strand of hair behind me ear.
I rest me head on his chest,cuddling up into him,while he plays with me hair.
"I know this is soon,and you probably just want to forget about most things,but one day,if you wanted to,we could always adopt.I know it's not your own or anything,but ---"
I place a finger on his lips,and look him in the eyes.
"But I'd love to." I say quietly with a smile. "I know it's not gonna be me own child,but I know I can't have anymore children.Yes it's hard for us to get me head around that right now,but it will get abit easier.I have to look to the bright side! I have you in me life,and one day we'll get married.And we also have a beautiful baby girl who we'll both love."
"And she'll be our little princess."
I feel me eyes filling with tears,so I just rest me head in the crook of Simon's neck,cuddling even closer to him.
