between heaven and disaster | camren

chapter 1: dinah

They're both six years old when they promise to love each other forever. It happens on the trampoline in Lauren's backyard, while Dinah and Normani are inside to beg Lauren's mom for more cookies.

Camila and Lauren settle down, laying on their backs to look at the clouds in the sky. Well, Camila is. Lauren is looking at Camila. It's not a conscious decision—Camila is just really pretty. Prettier than the sky. Definitely prettier than the clouds.

It's quiet for a few moments, but Lauren doesn't mind. Silences with Camila are never uncomfortable. But talking to Camila is even better, so Lauren's heart kind of jumps when Camila gasps and grabs her hand, points at the sky, and says, "That one looks like a banana."

Lauren tears her gaze away from Camila to look at the banana cloud, and she has to admit Camila's right. Her smile reflects Camila's. "It does."

Camila's face is really close, and the twinkle in her eyes is so happy Lauren can't really help but lean in. She doesn't know why she's so compelled to press her lips against Camila's, but it's sort of nice. It's also sort of gross, but the niceness definitely outweighs the grossness.

For two heartbeats nothing happens. Neither of them moves. Lauren's eyes flutter closed. She wonders if this is what her parents feel like sometimes when their faces are really close to each other when they're talking.

Then Camila pulls back, frowning a little. "What was that?"

Lauren needs a moment to get herself together, and her eyes are still closed, but Camila's voice grounds her a little. She looks into Camila's eyes—there's a slightly confused expression in them, but also something else that looks a little like the way Lauren's heart is beating against her chest. And Lauren doesn't know why, but she's relieved. "I'm not sure."

Camila doesn't move. "You kissed me."

"I guess," Lauren says in a soft voice. "Was that okay?"

Camila's frown deepens, like she's deep in thought. Then she shrugs, her lips curling up into a shy smile. "I guess. But why?"

Lauren blinks. She didn't think that far ahead yet. "I don't know. My mom and dad kiss all the time, and then they say they love each other."

"Oh." Camila pauses for a moment, her frown disappearing. Her eyes flicker down to Lauren's mouth, and before Lauren realizes what's happening, Camila pecks her lips and says, "I love you."

Lauren tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, but she smiles and rolls back on her back. Her hand finds Camila's, and she gives it a soft squeeze. "I love you, too."

"Forever?" Camila asks, her voice timid and shy in comparison to before.

"Forever."

And then Dinah and Normani come running outside with an entire pack of cookies between them and half-eaten ones in their hand, and Camila jumps up to grab the cookies before Dinah eats them all.

&

Things don't change in the years after that. They still hang out every day after school, usually at Lauren or Camila's house, because they're neighbors and they live closest to school.

But then things do start to change. It happens on Lauren's eleventh birthday, when they're in the backyard, playing by the trampoline. Their parents are all inside, eating cake and talking about boring adult stuff, and Lauren's next to Normani, leaning her arms on the trampoline while Camila and Dinah are jumping up and down.

It's not the most comfortable position, but Lauren doesn't mind because she likes it when Camila's happy and Camila looks really happy right now. Lauren could probably watch her for hours.