Marvel One Shots!

A Lifetime Apart

Hello! In this one-shot you ( the reader) are Steve Rogers. This takes place after CATWS. I have decided to make a story full of one-shots! You can request one if you'd like by messaging me, or just leaving a comment. Maybe you'll inspire me to write something awesome. :)
P.s. For some reason the beginning was deleted, so I tried rewriting it. Sorry if it's weird. Also the picture above I found on Twitter, but I can't find who originally made it (if you know please leave a comment, thank you).

***

You were sitting on the couch in Stark Tower watching a new show that you recently discovered. It was "The Twilight Zone". Natasha mentioned it when she was talking to Tony about old T.V. shows. You loved how each episode told a different story, and they felt familiar because they were in black and white. You loved that there was always a confusing twist at the end that you tried to guess, but you were never right. You were half way into an episode when you heard the phone ring. You got up, answered it, and proceeded to hear the worst news you've ever heard. Peggy Carter has passed away.

Now you couldn't watch T.V. you couldn't do anything. She was gone. She was the love of your life, even though she was physically a lot older than you, you still loved her, and you always will. A tear fell down your face before you even knew what was happening. You tried controlling yourself, your tears. You told your mind to stop, but it didn't work and you quickly fell to the floor with your head in your hands, sobbing.

You heard a soft thump, that's when you looked up to see Clint walking in. His eyes widened in shock as he realized that you were crying. You looked back down and sniffled, trying to regain composure. "Hey Steve! What's wrong?"
Clint whispered as he walked towards you. You didn't answer, worried that if you did your voice would crack. "Steve!" He was persistent. Clint was a good friend of yours and you couldn't blame him for wanting to know why you were upset, but you didn't want to talk to anyone about Peggy.

Nobody knew who she even was. Sure, they knew that she was one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D. but they didn't know anything else. "Steve? What's wrong?" He wasn't going to stop asking until you told him.
So you sighed and decided to tell him. "I- I just found out that.. P- Peggy passed away. Sh- she's gone." Your voice croaked. You didn't know how you even managed to say that.
"Steve, it's going to be okay." Clint gave you a big hug.
No, it's not was all that you were thinking. You needed a break. You decided to go on a walk, but as soon as you walked three blocks you regretted it. It was cold and you forgot your jacket.

***

You were dressed up and ready to go to the funeral, Peggy's funeral. You almost weren't going to go. You missed almost 70 years of her life. You knew that her family would be there, and the friends that she had left. You were sure that nobody knew you were friends with Peggy in the 40's. Tony was also going because he knew that Peggy was his dad's friend, and he remembered her from when he was little. Tony offered to give you a ride, you still didn't understand the new cars that weren't anything like the ones from the 40's. You gladly accepted, and soon you were off.

You sat on the last row of chairs trying not to attract attention. You listened as some one gave a eulogy, and several people spoke. When everyone was allowed to go up to the casket and say goodbye you stood up and walked towards her. Peggy looked beautiful as always, but colorless, lifeless. You tried to take it all in. Your friend was lying, dead in front of you. That's when you realized you never danced with your best girl. You turned away and ran out. If was too much. You were trapped in a nightmare. Your dream to live a happy life with Margaret 'Peggy' Carter by your side was crushed.

Later a mysterious blond man walked up to you.
"Hello, are you Steve Rogers?"
"Umm.. yes. And you?"
"Oh, I was Peggy's friend. She gave this to me before she passed, and told me to give it to you." He handed you a small journal.
"Oh, um, okay." You didn't really know what to say. You had no idea who this guy was and why Peggy would want to give you a journal, and before she died she was so forgetful you were surprised that she would want to give you anything.
"I haven't looked at it. I'm not even sure why she wanted you to have it. Anyways, good bye!" He turned around and left.
"Thanks! Have a nice day!" You shouted at him.
You stared down at the journal in your hands. What's in it? Do I want to know? It would just remind you that she's gone.
You decided to open it. The pages felt fragile and cold. You slowly began to thumb through everything. Then you saw a picture. It was you, skinny Steve Rogers. Before you became Captain America, the super soldier that had to protect his country. The journal had little notes written in it. You read the last page:

Hello future Peggy! If you ever find this and read it you might be confused. I want you to know that I wrote this shortly after Steve died. It was sort of a way to get passed the grief. -Peggy

Then you read a letter addressed to you.

Dear, Steve
I never said "I love you" I wish that I had. I love you and miss you. Please come back soon. I want to go on that date! Remember the one you took a rain check on! Well we rescheduled and you weren't there. I told you not to be late. You'll be happy to know that the war is over. You can come home! Imagine it!

Love,

Peggy Carter 

You flipped the page and were met with another one.

Hello Steve! Today "The Star Spangled Man With a Plan" popped into my head. I bursted into tears because it reminded me of you.
"Who's strong and brave here to save the American way?
Who vows to fight like a man for what's right night and day?
Who will campaign door-to-door for America,
Carry the flag shore to shore for America,
From Hoboken to Spokane,
The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!"
I remember how much you hated that song. I still have those drawings that you drew. The one with a monkey on a unicycle. I also found one of me that I'm sure you didn't want me to see. Why wouldn't you tell me that you drew me? I love it! I look at those drawings everyday, they never fail to put a smile on my face. I don't want to forget about you. I won't forget about you.

Love,

Peggy

You were blushing and laughing. Peggy remembered you, and thought about you. Then your smile left your face, because you caused her pain. You made the women you love cry, and you weren't there to comfort her when she needed you. Who are you kidding? Peggy never needed anybody, but she needed you.You felt numb, your heart was ripped to pieces. She loved you more than you ever thought possible. You felt like you needed her, but she was gone.

She lived a lifetime without you, and now you have to live a lifetime without her.