Love Untold

Love Untold: Chapter 23

Love Untold: Chapter 23

“Okay, Chrissie,” Dr. Gray said, “I want you to lie back and focus on that dot on the ceiling.”

Race watched from a chair in the corner of the darkened room as Chrissie shifted down on the psychiatrist’s leather couch and raised her eyes to a black spot above her.  This was her second visit to Dr. Gray, but Race had not been present during the previous one, though he met with the doctor on his own to give his own recount of their first meeting and other memories from their marriage.  After Chrissie’s session, she told Race that all she and the doctor discussed were some background information and the types of procedures he could perform with her -- hypnosis being one of them -- and she immediately signed up for that one.  

Frankly, Race was a little surprised that Dr. Gray scheduled her so quickly after seeing Dr. Newell, but her particular situation was a unique one, and Race thought that might have triggered Dr. Gray’s eagerness to get Chrissie on his couch and solve this puzzle.

It had better be the only reason.

And the only reason Race was here with his wife now was because a family member had to be present during hypnosis, and Dena was unavailable.  That’s what she said, anyway.  Race could kiss his sister-in-law for backing out of coming along with Chrissie today -- like Chrissie wanted -- but of course, the thought of kissing Dena for any reason made bile rise in his throat, so he tried not to dwell on that.

The office of Dr. Gray was a typical psychiatrist’s office, painted in soft shades of browns and decorated with obscure watercolor paintings and a few plants.  Bookshelves lined the wall behind a large, mahogany desk.  The leather, reclining couch sat under a set of windows with the shades drawn closed, and a digital camera, hooked to the doctor’s computer, pointed at Chrissie and Dr. Gray.  Soft, innocuous music played in the background, supposedly to help with the relaxation process.

“Just relax,” the doctor went on.  “Listen to my voice, and if at any time you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell me.”

“Okay,” Chrissie said, not taking her eyes off the dot on the ceiling.

Dr. Gray droned on in a soothing voice, “Take a deep breath in...”  Chrissie’s lungs filled up.  “Let it out...again...hear the soothing sounds around you, focus only on your breathing and the sounds...every time you breathe in...breathe out...you’ll feel yourself getting more and more relaxed...deeper into relaxation...in...out...”  He spoke on about breathing for several minutes, studying Chrissie closely, and Race saw her grow more and more calm and tranquil.  But when he realized that he was inhaling and exhaling along with her, getting drowsy, he forced his eyes awake, grimacing to himself.

The doctor suggested that he bring some headphones and a music player with him, in case he, too, found himself susceptible to the relaxation process.  Race didn’t want to miss what Dr. Gray told Chrissie, but he wouldn’t be very vigilant if he allowed himself to be hypnotized.  He plugged the earbuds into his ears and turned on some Lynard Skynard until Dr. Gray signaled him.

Race didn't’ trust the guy, but he let the doctor do his job.  

A few minutes passed while Chrissie’s form drooped in total rest, and Dr. Gray finally looked over at Race and nodded.  He removed the earbuds.

“Chrissie, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Good...I want you to think about something...think about your first memory...I want you to look around you...tell me where you are.”

“There’s...snow...” Chrissie said so softly Race could barely hear her.  “Snow everywhere...”

“Are you alone?”

“No...my sister...she’s...she’s walking...”

“Where is your sister going?” Dr. Gray asked in that same monotone, soothing voice.

“I...I don’t know...she’s a baby...walking for the first time...”

“What else do you see?”

Chrissie blinked rapidly, but nothing else on her body moved.  “I see...Daddy?  My daddy...he’s here...he’s smiling...Daddy?”

“Can you speak to your Daddy?”

“I...Daddy?  Daddy, it’s me...Chrissie...Daddy?...he...he doesn’t hear me...he’s smiling at D, telling her she’s doing good...”

Dr. Gray looked over at Race with a silent inquiry.  Race quickly wrote, D - Dena, sister, on the wipe board in his lap, raising it up to show the doctor.  That had been one of the stipulations for allowing Race into this session.  Absolutely no talking.  So, if Dr. Gray had a question, Race had to write the answer on the board.

“Daddy?” Chrissie went on in a sad, lost voice, “Daddy, talk to me...it’s me...it’s Chrissie...”

Both men could see the tears leaking out of her eyes as she babbled to her father.  Dr. Gray soothed her again, “Chrissie, listen to my voice, listen to the music...breathe in...out...again, Chrissie, deep breath in...let it out...slowly...I want you to take me to another memory...take me to your happiest place...”

She sighed and smiled, “She finally did it...”

“Who did, Chrissie?”

“Dena,” she sighed again.  “She finally did it...now maybe she’ll grow up...”

“Where are you, Chrissie?  Look around you, what do you see?”

“People...people everywhere...black gowns...Dena, smiling, happy, graduating...finally...Way to go, D!”  Chrissie’s head came off the couch as she shouted that last part, grinning and crying at the same time.

“Tell me about your sister,” the doctor asked, and Chrissie, in her broken, sporadic, hypnotic voice, began describing Dena Hill.  Race had to suppress a few chuckles at some of the things she told Dr. Gray.  Then the doctor asked about her mother, to which Chrissie’s temper and anger started coming through, and when Dr. Gray managed to calm her and relax her again after that, he asked about her father.  Chrissie could barely get any descriptive words out through the sobs and begging for her Daddy to talk to her again, look at her, stay with her.

Race’s heart shattered in its casing as he could do nothing to soothe her anguish but sit and watch, and keep his mouth shut.  Finally, they got to the point of the visit.  Race sat upright in his chair as Dr. Gray asked, “Chrissie, listen to me very closely...I want you to think about your husband...”

Chrissie’s face screwed up.  “I’m...I’m not...I have no husband...”

“His name is Race,” Dr. Gray said calmly.  “Think about Race.”

“Race?”

“Yes, Race...picture him in your mind...”

Chrissie giggled.  “Oh...Race...the man on my couch...he’s...he’s cute...”

Race tried very hard not to smile to no avail, but he did managed to not make a sound as he grinned at his wife.  “He rides bicycles,” Chrissie went on, raising her hands up as though to touch an imaginary person.  “And he has a great body...oh, my!...no, no...I can’t...I don’t know him...but sooo sexy...”  She demurely tucked her hands under her bottom, like she couldn’t control herself otherwise.

Dr. Gray turned his head to the side to press his lips together, suppressing a smile and clearing his throat.  Race was almost out of his chair, about ready to go to Chrissie, beg her to say those things to him, to his face, so he could see the honesty in her eyes.  She thinks I’m sexy?

I can work with that.

“Go back to the first time you saw Race,” Dr. Gray commanded, now in control of his voice.  “Tell me what you see.”

“A...a ring,” Chrissie said, frowning and untucking a lazy hand to bring up to her face.  “It’s pretty...Is it mine?”

“Where are you, Chrissie?”

“My kitchen...there’s coffee...I need to fold the sheets...”

“Go on,” Dr. Gray said.  “Tell me what’s happening.”

“There’s a man...a man on my couch...it’s him...who is he?”

Dr. Gray shifted in his chair and glanced over at Race.  They both knew this was Chrissie’s first memory of him, but the doctor wanted to try to go deeper into her psychosis and see if the real memories have been buried somewhere.  “Chrissie, I want you to take another deep breath in...let it out...every time you do that, I want you to sink further and further back...go back in time...go back to the bar in your mother’s hotel...the day you first saw Race...”

Chrissie blinked and scowled and shook her head, gently at first, but then growing more and more agitated.  “I...I don’t...there’s no bar...he’s on my couch...he’s coming through the back door...he’s in my house!...Get out!  I don’t know you!...Get away from...me...”  She ended that me with a soft sigh and a smile and a dreamy expression on her face.

“Chrissie, what do you see?” Dr. Gray asked.  “What’s happening?”

“A kiss...” she breathed contently, and then moaned, arching her body from the leather cushions, suspended in mid-air with only her head and feet holding her up.  “The refrigerator...the floor...so cold under my feet...but he’s warm...so warm...kiss me again, Race...please...”

Dr. Gray brought a hand up to his face to hide another smile, but Race was grinning like an idiot.  Chrissie apparently liked for him to kiss her -- liked it a lot -- and he planned to give her many more of them.  He’d rush over to her right now and smother her completely if the psychiatrist hadn’t been there.

The other man gained control of his mirth and requested Chrissie to breathe again and rest in a state of peace.  She closed her eyes and looked to be sleeping.  Then he stood up and motioned for Race to join him by the door.  In a hushed whisper, he said, “I’d like to perform a little test, see if physical stimulation will trigger something.  I’m going to ask her if you can kiss her again, and if she says yes, would you be willing?”

“Of course,” Race replied.  Anything to help Chrissie, even if he had to suffer through another taste of her sweet lips to do it.  It was for science, after all.

They joined her by the couch and Dr. Gray brought Chrissie back from her rest.  “Chrissie, I want you to look at this man...”

Race dropped to his knees beside her and she turned her head to face him.  “Hi,” she said, smiling politely.  Dr. Gray stood out of sight.  “Do you know this man?”

“I...yes...”  She frowned and chewed on her lip.  “No...”

Race glanced at the doctor, silently questioning her confused answer.  With a wave of his hand, Dr. Gray dismissed the inquiring look for now.  “Chrissie, this man is going to tell you the first thing he ever said to you.  I want you to respond to him when he does, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, eying Race with curiosity.

Race took a deep breath and calmly said that cheesy pick-up line from two years ago.  “I don’t normally kiss women I don’t know, but for you, I’ll make an exception.”  He hoped that was the exact words he used back when they first met, but he honestly couldn’t be sure.

Chrissie looked at him like he’d grown two heads, blinked for a few seconds, and then smiled. “I’m Chrissie,” she said, “and you’re cute,” and then she grabbed a handful of his shirt and kissed him with abandon.  Race fell into her mouth.  That had not been exactly what she said to him the first time around, but it was pretty damn close.  The reaction was the same.  

Race’s arms went around his wife as he devoured her lips, and she purred and let him.  Dr. Gray cleared his throat, bringing Race back to where he was and what he was supposed to be doing...not ravishing his wife on a psychiatry couch.  He eased back, and Dr. Gray instructed Chrissie to do more of those breathing patterns.  She sank back into the cushions, completely oblivious of what she’d done.

At the doctor’s nod, Race returned to his chair, and Dr. Gray brought Chrissie out of her hypnotic state.  She sat up on the couch, a little dazed, brushing the hair away from her forehead.  

“So?” she asked, glancing from him to Race.

Dr. Gray took a seat behind his desk and clicked off the digital camera.  “There was some progress,” the man replied, smiling kindly.  “We were able to go back and find some memories from your childhood, and you described your family in detail.”

Chrissie bit down on her bottom lip.  “And?”

“And before I tell you anything else, I want you to tell me what you remember from the hypnosis while it’s still fresh in you mind,” he said.

Chrissie looked at Race with trepidation, maybe for some support or just because she wasn’t comfortable with him listening.  He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to dwell on it.  His lips were still tingling from that kiss, so he was glad he sat in the far corner still.  He’d give away his bodily reaction if he stood up right now, so he stayed put.

“I’m not sure,” she began, clasping her hands together.  She sniffed and blinked and brought a finger up to her cheek, drawing away a tear.  “I cried?”

“Yes, you did,” Dr. Gray said smiling kindly.  “And laughed and shouted and got angry.  Do you remember feeling any of that?”

“Yes...I...I don’t know,” she answered, clearly confused.  “I felt cold like I was standing in snow, and I felt like...like...”

Dr. Gray scribbled on a note pad while Chrissie talked.  He looked up as she faltered.  “Like what?”

“Like...”  She turned red in the cheeks and stared down at the floor.  “Like someone was...kissing me...”

“Good, good,” Dr. Gray commented, writing that down.  He set his pen aside and leaned back to study her.  “You felt that way because it happened.”

Chrissie’s head popped up.  A spark of indignation ignited her blue eyes.  “What?”

“I tried to get you to go back into the past to the first time you saw your husband, but you wouldn’t,” he explained patiently.  “So, we attempted a physical trigger to your memories.  According to Race, when you first met, he spoke something to you, and you kissed him for it.”

Now, Race could see Chrissie’s temper about to burst out of her.  Here it comes.  “I did not give you permission to have him -- anyone -- kiss me.”

“Chrissie, you gave me permission to use any stimuli during hypnosis that I deemed worthy.  No harm was done, and we did see a similar response from you as your husband described from your first meeting.  In light of that small breakthrough, I believe that my decision was intuitive in helping you.”

Race watched in fascination as his wife closed her eyes and breathed deeply -- like she’d done during the hypnosis -- and relax her body.  Amazing.  “I suppose you are correct, Dr. Gray,” she replied in a moderated tone.  She looked up at him, astutely avoiding Race’s gaze.  “So, what happened?”

Instead of answering that, the doctor clicked the mouse on his computer a few times and then typed on the keyboard.  “I am sending a copy of the session to your email’s inbox now.  You may view it when you get home.  In the meantime, I’d like to schedule another session for later this week and ask that you bring along your sister and mother this time.”

“Why?”

“According to some things you’ve told me while under, you have some strong emotions about your family, and they may be the root to your selective amnesia.”

Chrissie studied the doctor for a moment, but she didn’t dispute his suggestion.  “Mom left this weekend to go back home, but she can fly back if necessary.”

Dr. Gray shook his head briefly.  “No, there is no reason to inconvenience her.  But your sister, Dena?  Is she available to attend the next session?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem,” Chrissie said.  “I’ll ask her.”

“Good,” Dr. Gray said, standing up.  “Now, I’d hate to be rude, but I’m supposed to meet my own sister for lunch.”

Chrissie rose to her feet, too.  Race could use a couple more seconds to make sure he didn’t embarrass himself, but he stood as well and joined the others by the desk.  “Is there nothing else you can tell me?” she asked.

“Only that you do have some buried emotions, and I’m hoping that with the next couple of sessions, we’ll be able to unearth them.  Watch the video tonight and write down anything that triggers your memory.”

She nodded, not at all cheerful at the vague answers she was getting, but she didn’t pitch a fit about them, either, and that baffled Race.  The other Chrissie would be hurling the paperweight by now.  Dr. Gray shook both their hands, and Race led Chrissie out to schedule another session and go home.

“Are you okay?” he asked, while driving down the interstate.

“I’m fine,” she sighed, and then laughed.  “I’m tired.  I feel like I’ve just run a marathon...or spent a whole night crying myself to exhaustion.”

“I can imagine,” he said with a small smile, thinking about all the emotions she barreled through in only two hours.  “Let’s go home and take a nap.”

“A nap?” she asked, as though she’d never heard of it before.

“Yeah, a nap,” he laughed.

“Together?”

He sighed, losing his laugh and smile.  As much as he wanted to cuddle up next to her body while she slept, and not because he found her sleepwalking again, he wouldn’t.  The expression of anger when she found out she kissed him while under hypnosis was still fresh in his mind.  

They had a long way to go before she’d allow him to hold her again...consciously.