Heart Of A Star

Chapter Seven - Natalie

When the alarm went off at 8:02 on Thursday morning, it was officially my twenty-first birthday. Ray-Ray had made a reservation at Worthington's, an upscale high-end seafood restaurant located in the heart of Dallas. I was excited, as on the rare occasion that I enjoyed seafood nowadays, it usually consisted of all-you-can-eat crab legs at a local chain restaurant. The last time that I had been treated to such an affair was at our high school graduation, when Rachel's parents took us to a restaurant near Wilkes-Barre, where you could choose your own trout from a stream that ran right through the dining room of the restaurant.

The morning began when Rachel and I decided to venture on a little shopping trip in Plano, a large suburb just north of Dallas.

In the northern suburbs of Dallas, it was very much populated with strip malls, apartment complexes and businesses, as well as very new construction just about everywhere we looked. It amazed both of us how flat the land was around the buildings, and when you were lucky enough to catch a glimpse of some of the open fields, they rolled on for miles and miles without a mountain or a hill disrupting it.

We ended up at a large three-story mall, where we started our day with a late "breakfast" at The Cheesecake Factory. Rachel explained that on vacation, this was allowed. She rationalized that calories did not accumulate on vacation at the same rate they did back home, so we need not worry about fitting into our bathing suits again tomorrow because of cheesecake enjoyed for breakfast today.

I didn't think that Rachel ever needed to worry about calories anyhow; the girl barely had an inch to pinch on her. She was also highly addicted to the high she got from exercise, running three miles religiously each morning, taking aerobic classes after her college courses during the school year, and participating actively on our school's tennis and lacrosse teams. During the summer, she eased up just a bit and found solace in random physical activities like swimming or biking.

We chose the curbside seating outside the restaurant. We placed our orders rather quickly, and sat in silence for a while, basking in the sunshine and freedom of our vacation. When the waitress returned with steaming mugs of froth, I couldn't resist the urge to dive right in.

Rachel laughed as I licked the whipped cream off my lip only seconds after the waitress had delivered the steaming cups to our table.

"Nat, what is it that you want to do with your life?"

It was a typical Rachel-like question, and if I didn't know her as well as I did, I might have accused her of having smoked an early morning blunt.

I thought for a few moments, wondering how deep I really wanted to get this fine morning. But here we were, just me and her, on the cusp of all things great and new. And without Rachel, I never would have made it even this far. She'd gotten me through the aftermath of the worst years of my life, and helped to ease the pain in the years thereafter when I'd been convinced that I was a burden to my own family.

I was finding it hard to tell my best friend that there was anything that I could possibly want more than what she had already given me. But she opened the door, and I dared to step inside. "I want a career," I glanced up at her, "in Accounting. I want to be a tax-accountant and crunch numbers behind a computer the rest of my life in some boring office with a tiny desk and no windows."

Rachel gave me her "get serious Natalie" look – the one where she lowers her head slightly, looking at me through the top of her green eyes. "Nat, your career right now consists of working part time in a pizza shop on campus and going to school for that fabulous future. That wasn't what I meant."

I played along, because I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere arguing my point. When Rachel had an agenda, it was best to just go with it. Otherwise, we might have ended up outside the café all day. "What should I be focusing on then at this point in my life, Dr. Garrison?"

She rolled her eyes and sipped on her coffee casually, then folded her arms on the table and leaned forward. She meant business. "A relationship."

"A relationship?" I couldn't help rolling my eyes. This was out of nowhere. But I could tell she was serious, so I tried to straighten up and look her in the eyes with about as much decorum as I could muster.

"I'm just saying that if you're going to focus on anything right now, why not a relationship? Your longest relationship didn't even make the six month mark, and that's hardly what I'd call long-term. But you've got the right guy in front of you and either you're completely oblivious to that fact or you're simply not interested in him, and quite frankly, it's driving me slowly insane."

I laughed entirely too loudly, drawing a few stares from the passing Texans on the street. "Nathan? Please, he's engaged and totally off the market..."

She interjected, giving me an impatient stare. "I'm talking about Ray-Ray, and you know it."

I thought very carefully about what I wanted to say next as not to further offend her. "Ray-Ray and I are friends. And that's all it's ever going to be."

"Do you ever see the way he looks at you, Nat? Do you ever see that look in his eyes, like you are the only woman in the world? He doesn't give me that look, or any other woman, for that matter. Just you."

I pondered this for a moment. Maybe he did hold his gaze a little longer on me than the other girls. So what? It didn't mean anything. But I let myself entertain this prospect, more to humor her than anything else, and maybe even myself, just a bit. "He was pretty good in bed."

I saw a slight smile cross her lips. "True." She sipped her coffee casually, oblivious to the pang of jealousy that ripped through my veins. I shook it off. It was probably just the caffeine surge under the hot sun. After all, I had no reason to be jealous of something that neither of us had.

I ran my finger around the rim of the coffee cup, not daring to look up at her. "So why didn't you two ever hook up again?" It was a question that I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to.

She took a while to answer, almost to the point where I thought she was going to just bypass the question altogether. But finally she relented, "It was good Nat, but it was just sex. Ray-Ray's got the ability to be a passionate guy, but there was just no spark. It was just physics between us." Although the answer was carefully crafted, there was an air of honesty in her voice, laced with solemnity as she continued. "From everything you've told me about that night, there was no lack in chemistry there. I'd be willing to venture that there's a whole lot more if you just put yourself out there."

I laughed, more as a reflex than anything else, and felt my cheeks getting warm in the hot Texas sun. "You're being ridiculous. Ray-Ray's like our brother. That's it, there's nothing more. You're reading way too deep into things that aren't there."

She shrugged. "So maybe I am. But then again, it wasn't my name that he said in bed..."