I tell you what, when life decides it's gonna fuck you up for the rest of your days, it does its job pretty well.
The name's Devon. My whole life I've lived in the suburbs of Nebraska, raised by your everyday conservative, Christian parents. The odd part about these suburbs is the geography surrounding them. My town, for example, lies just in front of a long, straight road that goes on for miles. Both sides are lined with a huge wall of trees, behind which lie the swamps. Because of the road's layout, the locals call it "The Green Hallway". Just to the north of these trees lies a small mountain range, ideal for long hikes and mountaineering. Why God decided to put swamps and mountains together, I'll never know. That is, if he even exists. But I'm not here to contemplate God's existence. I'm here to tell you how life fucked me over.
It started on a quiet summer evening. I lived only a few miles away from my parents, on the opposite side of the Green Hallway from them. We hadn't seen each other in a while, so they decided to drop me a line and invite me over for dinner. Having nothing better to do that night, and unwilling to pass up a home-cooked meal, I accepted.
Now, because the Green Hallway is mostly barren, and because I love the "great outdoors", I preferred to bike to my parents' house whenever I visited. Instead of buying a bike, I found it easier to simply rent one from the local bike shop. So I headed over to get one for the long ride to my folks' place.
The owner was a guy named Mike. Nice guy, always happy to have someone's patronage. I'd rented bikes from him plenty of times, so he didn't even need to ask what I needed. While I waited for him to retrieve the bike, I listened to the radio he always had playing. Instead of music, however, I heard a woman making a public service announcement:
"Police have begun searching for Sharon Kim, a young woman who was recently reported missing. She is described as pale, with brown eyes and long black hair. If you have any information pertaining to this woman's whereabouts-"
"Scary stuff, huh?" interrupted Mike as he rolled the bike to me.
"Sure is." I said, "Especially in a small town like ours."
"Amen, brother," laughed Mike, "Amen."
And so, putting aside thoughts of this missing girl, I set out on a bike trip I had taken many times before, down the Green Hallway. I always loved biking down that road. The feel of the wind on my face as I whizzed by the trees was exhilarating. It felt like I was soaring through the wind as the world to my left and right melted into a green blur. It was liberating, a sensational journey that made you forget all your troubles... until life decides that the ride's over. In other words, I was so absorbed in my ride that I failed to notice a bump in the road. Startled, I accidentally swerved sharply to the right, causing me and the bike to fall off the road and slam into a tree trunk. Luckily I was wearing a helmet so I was fine other than a few scratches on my arms, a minor inconvenience. Then I saw the bike and swore loudly. The front wheel had been bent inward from the impact, rendering it useless.
God dammit, I thought, Mike's gonna have my head on a pike!
Thoroughly pissed off, I picked up the bike and began walking it down the Green Hallway, continuing to my parents' place, figuring that I'd already gone far enough to be close. As it turns out, I wasn't, and after about 10 minutes of walking I realized that I still had plenty of road in front of me, stretching as far as the eye could see as an endless, asphalt strip. I pulled out my cell phone and tried to call my parents for help, but, of course, there was no reception. At this point the sun was beginning to set, and I was sure I was late.
Just as I was about to resume my long trek, a faint rumbling pierced the silence. I felt my eyes widen with hope and excitement as I saw the source: A gigantic RV! I dropped the bike and stuck my thumb out with my right arm while waving with my left and calling out for the driver to stop. The RV came to a screeching halt right next to me, its imposing size making me feel like an ant. The door opened and out walked the driver.
