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Hoe, Hoe, Hoe! (Christmas with Meg) - Meg

Christmas parties are a spectacular thing.

Christmas parties when parents/chaperones aren't around, and as seniors in high school, however?

Even better.

Tonight, at my house, is the biggest party of the year, and my parents are absolutely cool with it. No alcohol and no drugs are the only rules, but when you can get drunk on eggnog and cookies, it's just as good.

Allie, Danny, Zach, and I are hanging out with Allie's boyfriend Mike and Zach's girlfriend Reed.

“It's impossible for Santa to be real.” Danny argues. “Impossible. How would he get down chimneys? Know if you're good or bad?  Fly around the world and break into every house in one night?”

“One word.” Allie holds up a finger. “Magic.”

“Which is also known as random molecules bouncing into each other and creating these ‘phenomenons’. Also, hallucinations.”

“You calling the boot print I found in my house twelve years ago a FAKE?” Zach burst out. “Do you have a death wish or somethin'?”

“Shh, Zach, we all know that your footprint isn't a fake.” Reed consoles him.

“How about we change the subject?” Allie suggests, always the peace keeper between Danny and Zach.

“Okay.” I jump in. “Do you think that Santa's kinda a pervert, you know, watching us sleep?”

“Oh, God, I never thought of that.” Mike looks kind of freaked out as he says it.

“Do you think he spies on us during everything?” I ask. “Like, when we're changing, or on the toilet, or -”

“Geez, Meg, stop! You're giving me scary images in my head. Ruining my childhood.” Danny says, covering his eyes.

“And you're the one who thinks Santa doesn't exist.” Zach scoffs.

“I said childhood, not teenagehood. And either way, Santa spying on girls is still creepy.” Danny says in his defense.

“Hoe, Hoe, Hoe.” Allie says, laughing.

“Yesssssss, yesssssss, take your shirt off. Ooh, yeah!” I say, impersonating Perverted Santa. I hold my hands in circles around my eyes to look like I'm spying on people. Reed, Mike, Zach, Danny, and Allie just about dying from laughter, and I'm struggling to contain myself. Finally, we just all bust a gut, and a couple other partygoers look at us strangely.

Suddenly, my phone starts singing a song by my favorite band, Not Enough Time. (Actually, it's also Danny, Allie, and Zach's fave band, too.) the caller ID says MOM. Groaning, I answer. She promised she wouldn't call tonight.

“'Lo?” I ask.

“Hi, Meg. Are you with the others?”

‘The others’ refer Danny, Allie, and Zach. “Yeah.” I nod.

“Good. Can you guys go somewhere quiet and put me on speaker?”

“Uh, yeah. Hold on.” I look over at the group. “Danny-doodle, Zachmonsta, Allie-son, come with me. My mother figure has important words to speak to us.”

The others laugh, and follow me to my brother Sam's room. Sam, Mom, and Dad are at a concert tonight, to keep my party fun. Because, ya know, it's hard for seniors to have fun when you have to be appropriate for an impressionable ten-year-old. Anyways, we went up to his room and locked the door. I hit speakerphone. “Okay, Mom, what's up?”

“Well, you guys know you're having a senior trip soon...” Yeah. I'm going to Canada, Allie's going to Amsterdam, and Zach and Danny are going to Cancun together.

“Go on.” Allie says.

“Well, there's been a change of plans. None of you are leaving the country, after all.”

“What?” Danny and Zach ask.

“Ex-squeeze me!?” I shriek.

“YES!” Allie shouts.

“Where are we going instead?” Danny yelps. “There goes all my plans. We're not leaving the country? Ugh! There goes getting a hot Cancun girlfriend!”

“Instead, you guys are going to Not Enough Time, in concert!”

“WHAT?” All of us scream. NET in concert?!

“They're doing a tour, but they won't get to us by October.” Mom explains. “The parents pooled our resources for tickets, but there's not enough for four plane tickets left. So -”

“We're driving?” Allie asks. She's excited - she never wanted to go to Amsterdam in the first place.

“Yes.” My mom confirms. “It's in July, the... fifteenth, I think. Yeah, the fifteenth. So you guys'll want to head out a week earlier, on the eighth. Then you'll have a week there, and you'll head home on the twenty-second. You'll be home by Sunday, probably.”

“Wait.” Zach says. “Where is this concert, exactly?”

“Oh, right!” Mom says. “Washington.”

“Washington D.C.?” Danny asks.

“No, no. Washington State. Seattle, precisely.”

“Okay Mom. Awesome. Talk to you later. Bye.” I say, and hang up.

The next minute, someone knocks on the door to see if someone's dying - I guess we were screaming kind of loud. Cross country road trip to see The Best Band Ever in concert with my besties?

“HELL YEAH!” I shriek, pumping a fist in the air. “NET in concert!”

“God, this is SO much better than Amsterdam!” Allie's jumping up and down.

“Suck that, Cancun!” Zach whoops.

“Yeah, suck that, Cancun!” Danny echoes.

“I have to tell Mike!” Allie grins and runs out of the room.

“And I should probably tell Reed!” Zach follows Allie downstairs, leaving Danny and me.

“I can't believe I have to scrap everything - my itinerary, my maps, everything!” Danny complains.

“Dude, chill.” I say. “A concert cross-country with your three besties is way better than stupid Cancun with one bestie.”

“Bestie?” Danny asks, raising an eyebrow. The ADHD part of me thought, God, I wish I knew how to raise one eyebrow...

“BFFLS!” I yell.

“What the hell is a... biffel?”

“No, B-F-F-L. Best friends for life.”

“Oh...”

“BFFLS!”

"Um, okay."

"BFFLS!"

"Um... biffel?"

"Come on, BFFL!" I sing-song. "Let's go catch up with Allie-son and Zachmonsta."