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A CrazyAss Confession - Meg

Someone knocked on the door. Half of me wanted it to be Danny, half of me hoped it wouldn't be. I wasn't sure if I wanted to apologize or put off my apology. I hated hurting him.

“It's open.” My cracked voice said. Please be Danny, please don't be Danny, please be Danny, please don't be Danny...

Whoever it was opened the door slowly. Hearing them take a deep breath before entering, they entered the room. I looked up at the person.

“Danny!” I shrieked, leaping up. “Danny, I - I mean -”

“It's okay.” I just looked at him. “Seriously, Meg, it's okay.”

I burst into tears and sat down. It's not okay! Why is he saying it's okay when  I was such a bitch to him!  Danny rushed over to me, and sat with his arm around me. Why would he do that if he's mad at me? He should be mad at me... “I'm sorry!” I sob. “I just hate driving and I hate stress and I'm sorry I lost my temper!” It's a lousy explanation but Danny doesn't seem to care.

“It's okay Meg. It's alright.”

“I don't understand why you're being so nice about this!” I cried, and he held me tighter. I fell into him like a puppet without strings and I didn't know why he wasn't pushing me away. He should be mad at me. Why isn't he mad at me?

“We're friends, Meg. I know you hate driving and I shouldn't have bugged you. Really, I'm the one who should be apologizing.”

“I kicked you out of the car!”

“It's fine, Meg. Honestly.”

“I - I really don't understand why you're being so cool about this. I kicked you out of the car. Why are you forgiving me and apologizing?” What is wrong with him? Why isn't he mad at me? This would be so much easier if he hated me!

“Meg, you're my best friend -”

“That doesn't explain anything!”

“- And I love you.”

Time is still. I don't know how long - days, months, years - but for however long, we only look at each other. Him, looking directly at her and waiting for something to be said. Me, surprised and shocked and still with tears in my eyes. Finally, one of the tears leaks out, and he reaches up and brushes it away.

Suddenly, I throw my arms around him and starts sobbing. And by sobbing, I mean absolute hysterics. What? What? What's going on?

“You don't mean it! You don't mean it!” I cried into his chest.

“Yeah, I do, Meg. I always have.”

“You're lying to me!” I screamed.

“No, Meg, I'm not. I'm really not.”

“Why?” I demanded.

“Why do I love you? A lot of reasons...”

“Well, that, but why would you even after today?”

“I love you, Meggie. One fight's not going to change that.”

I just sat there, holding on to him and him holding on to me. I can't stop crying. He loves me. Danny loves me. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't. He's lying. But he's not. I don't know what to do, so I keep crying. It's too hard to figure out.

“Meg.” He says. “Meggie. Listen.” He gently takes my chin in his hand and raises my head so I look into his eyes. “Meggie. It's okay. It's okay.”

“I don't get it.” was all I could say.

“Meggie, there's nothing to get. I love you.”

“Why?”

“Why? Meggie, you don't need to even ask that. You're smart. You're beautiful. You're funny. You don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about you. You're amazing.”

And I started crying again because I just can't believe it. It's like the words are in a different language I can hear and understand but can't comprehend. I hear the words and know what they mean but can't put them into context.

I try taking a couple deep breaths. Danny leans over to the desk and grabs me a couple tissues from the desk.

“Wow.” I whisper. “I mean - thanks. Wow. Um.”

“I know you're kind of overwhelmed, but, um, I -”

And I kissed him. I knew it was what he was going to ask and I mean, why not? Danny's nice and smart and makes me laugh, and, I mean, he loves me. It's not like I have any other guys like him in my life.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pulls me closer to him. I'm finding it hard not to grin and I have the feeling he is too. And, damn, Danny's a really good kisser.

For the second time in fifteen minutes, time is still. I don't know if the kiss lasts seconds or minutes or hours. But I know it's amazing.

When Danny finally pulls away, we're both grinning like idiots. “Okay, I have to go. Allie and Zach are in the lobby and I told them I'd let them know how it worked out after us talking.”

“They're probably wondering where you are.” I say.

“I'll, uh, see you later, I guess.” He gets up and starts to walk towards the door.

“Yeah, see ya.” I smile. “Thanks for not being mad.”

“Thanks for not, um, freaking out.”

 “Bye, Danny. See you soon.”

“Catch you later, Meggie.”

He closes the door behind him, and I fall flat on my bed, replaying the kiss over and over and over again. And over and over and over and over, until I fall asleep.