Adopted by bts

Part one

//play music If you'd like
"No society has been able to abolish human sadness, no political system can deliver us from the pain of living, from our fear of death, our thirst for the absolute. It is the human condition that directs the social condition, not vice versa."

-Eugene Ionesco
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It's been ages since my parents died . Nearly Three years now , and it still attaches itself to my thoughts . If they had loved me then maybe this wouldn't have happened . I was not useful for them . Mother used me for my 'beauty' and would be nice to me in front of others but when we got home , it became a different story .

-( skip this if you want , it's just a flashback and a story of what happened )
"HANA COME HERE NOW" my mothers voice was angry .
"Y-yes mother " I replied hastily and hurried down the cold Stairs .

"I gave you 19800 won ( about £11 British pounds ) for the week for you to have food ! Where's it gone " she spat . We had enough money, we were quite rich but my mother hated to spend money on me when she could buy herself or my older brother something .

"I-I'm sorry mama . I was really hungry yesterday so I had rice and some sauce instead of fruit, but the day before I had the usual . And today I did too "

"How selfish can you be . Don't you know you'll get fat like that . Stop eating as much you fat pig . Right ok I'm not making you dinner tonight ".my brother came in . " Go to your room "
I wasn't fat . I knew that . I was under eating and was more skinny than normal but I wasn't anorexic and it didn't become that bad .

I would never go to my room straight away . I would watch as she gave my brother a warm welcome and offer him some food . Mama hated me , she thought it was my fault that she had to take thyroxine tablets , my fault that father left us and then died .

" come here jae ! How is the new high school ! You haven't been home in three days I've missed you "

"It's fine mama " kissing her cheek and coming upstairs. He ran into my room and sat next to me , who was crying my eyes out .

"Hana..." he rubbed my back and smiled at me. My brother was really handsome if I say so myself and he would always make me feel better because he was so kind . .

"I'm sorry jae... I'm sorry I fail at everything . I'm a horrible younger sister . I'm sorry . I already did hate myself"

"Don't take notice of mother "he smiled and held me " I love you ok ? You are my only sister , don't feel bad because even if she doesn't love you , I do "

"That's reassuring " I said sarcastically and he laughed .

We sat there for ages and talked about things . After a while his facial expression began to change and he looked at me sternly .

"There's something I have to tell you Hana . "

"What is it " I smiled and fell back o. Him so I was lying in his lap .

"Aish, get off !" He laughed
"No "

"Right , I'm moving away " before I could interrupt him " don't tell mom , but I'm moving to England to study , there's no future for me here . I want to make my own life . "

I stood up and started shouting at him to not go .

"JAE TAKE ME WITH YOU " I begged him . I tried my best but he wouldn't .