I'm Not Safe

I'm sorry. 

I'm so sorry. 

I didn't mean to put you through everything I've put you through, it wasn't right and wasn't fair. 

I'm sorry for all the lies, I'm sorry for the scars and cuts that litter my skin.  

I'm sorry for being raped at 14. 

I'm sorry for being so skinny, I'm sorry for being a whore, I'm sorry for being a slut, I'm sorry for being ugly. 

I'm sorry for being fucking worthless. 

Mom and Dad, you're reading this after I'm gone, after I've put you out of your misery. I'm sorry for the hell I've put you through. But, guess what? You get peace now! Rejoice!

My hand starts to shake. I set the pen down, using the back of my hand to dry the tears that are dutifully falling from eyes. Two days, and my parents and so called friends will have peace from me for forever. Two days.

"Annalise?" There's a knock at my door. I quickly push the paper under my binder from school, opening my binder to homework due tomorrow. The door opens, the hinges squeaking painfully loud. I wipe my eyes once more, turning in my chair to look at my mom.

"What do you want?" I snap, feeling nothing towards her look of hurt. She opens her mouth, then closes it; reminding me of a fish. "What the fuck do you want?" I say my voice deadly calm. Mom's face contorts into a look of anger, but quickly vanishes.

"D-Don't talk to me like that!" My mom tries to reprimand me through her voice; I stare at her with no emotion present on my face. "Food's ready," she whispers, seeing the look on my face. I pinch the bridge of my nose, shaking my head. Why does she even try?

"I'm not hungry," I mutter, turning back around in my seat, wincing as I hear my door slam shut. I pull the paper back out, reading what I have written.

**Next Day**

"Annalise Grace Puckett!" My father yells in a stern voice; as soon as I enter the house. I look up from the foyer carpet with a bored look. In my dad's left hand he's holding my suicide note. His eyes are hard; not caring. His hand is clenched, the knuckles white, around the paper. My mother is behind my father, her body racking with silent sobs. 

"Great way to greet me," I mutter, sarcasm leaking through my voice. My dad's stare hardens, his hand begins to shake. There's no emotion behind his eyes. My mom begins to open her mouth; doing another fish motion like she did yesterday.

"Why didn't you tell me, Annalise?" My mother blubbers, her eyes start to water, the silent sobs turning into audible sobs.

"Mom," I sigh, trying to keep my temper under control. 

"Annalise!" 

"She's obviously trying to get attention, honey," my father spits out. I turn my glare onto my father. Is he saying I'm lying?

"I'm lying?" I choke out, my hand digging into my jean's pocket. I open my hand to reveal enough sleeping pills for what I needed to do. "I'm fucking lying?" I screech, suddenly the tears won't be held at bay. They fall from my eyes, dampening my cheeks. 

"Give them here, Annalise," my father demands, holding out his empty hand. I stare at that hand like it is the plague; I back away against the door. The tears blur my vision; I mess with the doorknob, trying to get out; to get away. This room is suffocating. “ANNALISE!”

The pills fall from my hand as my father swipes at that hand. I scream. My last resort is no longer my last resort. I slide down in the corner, my head falling to my knees in defeat. Tears fall freely, not caring about anything anymore. My father just took my last thing to get out of this hell.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, Annalise. Your bags are packed,” my father says calmly and I hear him walk away. Where am I going? Where is he taking me? I just want to be gone.

**AN NOTE**

This is the prolouge, that is why it is so short. Thanks to owlfan for the cover, I love it <3