When You Leave/An Ereri Fanfiction

Walls of shattered glass

Note: each chapter is the start of a new day, unless marked otherwise.
note: this first part that's underlined is part of Eren's dream.

third person

Darkness. that's all it ever was. nothing less, nothing more. Just simply the company of darkness and the feelings that he was falling. Eren both hated and loved this place. He loved it because it was the one place he could be alone without the annoying company of others. he loved the darkness, too. His best friend, one might say. Why? because one; it's always there for him when he needs it,  two; he knows it won't judge him, and three: when he's surrounded by it, he can't see himself. He hated to see himself, because it meant he was still alive.
As Eren seemed to fall further and further into the pit of nothingness, quiet music could be heard. It grew louder the further he fell, and the further Eren fell, the faster he'd be doing so.
ugh. it's that piano, again.
don't be so negative.
Eren was never sure why the piano played as it did, with that slow, out of tune, meaningless beat, but it did. And every dream different notes were played. he'd never once heard the same note be used more than twice, and he'd never hear the notes stop once they started. They'd either play or they didn't.
Eren sighed. the darkness around him faded from a deep black to a teal-electric blue. the piano grew louder, quicker, and the speed Eren was falling at grew tremendously.
you know, it is said that angels carry the supposed-to-be-dead off in their sleep. But sometimes, the angels drop them. the one they dropped suddenly feels like they're falling in their dream. then they wake up, still alive.

are you implying that I'm an angel?

No, I'm implying that you should be dead.

suddenly, Eren dropped through a bright light, the dream world around him shattering into millions of  sharp, thick, shards of glass. Eren could see his reflection through each one, but everytime he did, he  was reminded that he was a broken and shattered mess, too. His heart was broken, too, just as this dream world. It can't be fixed. It's out of tune. No... His heart was more like an ocean- Mysterious and dark. but then again, who said this dream-like world wasn't an ocean, too?

Eren gasped when a large scrap of glass pierced through his chest. Another one, then, through his arm. Then his leg. But he didn't bleed. 

You really are empty inside.

                 *➰➰➰*   

When Eren awoke, he was sweating like crazy, and for some odd reason, he was panting, too. Scared, maybe? Eren's scared of everything, so most likely. 

Sighing, he stood up. He didn't care if his clothes were dirty, first thing thing he did was walk into the bathroom across the hall. He thought about every flaw about himself, and how it was pointed out to him. His first flaw: his heart. It's black. It's dark. It's broken; no point in fixing it. So, Eren lifted up his black shirt with one hand, and picked up a razor with the other. 

It's broken beyond repair. No point in fixing it. 

So he cut a great big X across his chest, right over where his heart should be.

Blood quickly poured from the deep wound, and Eren winced. Tears fell from his big, teal eyes, and he felt like falling. But he didn't.

His next flaw: his body. He's too fat. No, too skinny. No... His body... His presence.... That's what he hates. And that makes it a flaw. Eren knows cutting won't fix it. Those who notice his scars say it's for attention. That's been said enough times to Eren to actually make him believe it, too, but that voice in the back of his head still disagrees greatly. 

"Its not a cry for attention, it's a cry for help," it'll always say.

But Eren just replies with a simple 'no'.

Eren lowered his shirt, and rose up his head, looking at the ceiling. He took the razor and placed it on the bottom of his jawbone. He wasn't sure why, but he pressed the razor into his flesh. It was the first wound he'd ever put there. A new scar. Meaning, he wasn't used to the pain in that spot. 

He screamed. Not very loudly, though, for it hurt when he opened his mouth. Eren dropped the razor, and it fell onto the white tiled floor. His hands shot up and  were placed over the cut he made. His breathing was raged and quick. Eren let go of his neck, and stumbled out of the bathroom, and down the stairs. He didn't bother putting on different clothes, he just threw on his baggy sweater and left. His keys were still in his pocket, and his backpack was still in his car. Once again, he floored the gas pedal, and sped towards the school. Eren was still in unbelievable pain, to the point where he felt like crying. When Eren got to the school, he couldn't find the brake, so he just took his foot off the gas and drove in circles until the car naturally stopped. It wasn't parked in an actual spot, but on the edge of the sidewalk, making it look like his came to school drunk. His walk was drunk, too. He was stumbling every few steps, and tripped more than once.he looked up at a hallway clock, and remembered that it was lunch time, and he had missed his first three classes. 

He didn't want to eat, nor did he want to open his mouth; it'd hurt. Eren soon realized that his wounds were still bleeding when he felt the blood from them drip down his skin. A student or teacher walking through the hall must've noticed the blood on his neck and the blood that was seeping through his shirt, and now his sweater, because Eren heard a loud gasp before he blacked out and fell onto the cold floor.