Forever

Mine

My name is John Xavier Scott, and honestly, I'm not insane. I promise you that I'm not. I'm as normal as anyone could possibly be. I was born into quite a normal family. My mother was a stay-at-home mom, while my father was a businessman at the local sales firm. I had a bike, played in the yard, and said my prayers every night before bed. Believe me, you could take a picture of us and stick it in a magazine promoting better lifestyles. We perfectly fit the cliche of a normal, white, suburban family.
Now I live in an apartment complex in the middle of the city, nothing too fancy. It's a standard, one bedroom apartment containing the average messes of any single man; stained clothes scattered aimlessly throughout the floor, black trash bags filled with day old meat and beer bottles, piles of newspapers resting on the living room. Nothing out of the ordinary, just average. I work at a tax firm called Norm & Al's Tax Office, across the street from J.J.'s Diner. I order my lunch every day from J.J.'s, a medium rare cheeseburger with a side of fries and a Coke. That's about as average of a lunch as you can possibly get. I have no girlfriend, no wife, no kids. I'm just a single man, living life as normally as I possibly can. I'm no different from anyone else. I love how my life is so normal and I strive to keep it that way. So just exactly how can I insane?
However I'll say this again, I'm not crazy. Honestly, I'm really not. But I am in love. I am madly in love with Emily Walters. Emily works at the same tax firm as I do. They just hired her a few weeks ago as a new accountant. She sits exactly five cubicles down and three to the right from mine. Trust me, I've counted, about 521 times to be exact. That's half the number of times I've stared at her from afar.
I first met Emily at J.J.'s Diner. Well, I didn't actually meet her, she sat exactly two booths away from me. I did, however, watch her for a couple of minutes. I thought it was quite romantic that she orders the same exact meal as I did. She even removes the pickles and places it on a napkin just the way I do. It was if it was fate for her and I to be together.
Emily lives in an apartment complex called the Sani T. Inn, exactly three point two miles away from my apartment. It's located on the corner of Rutherford St. and Dawson Ave. It really is a beautiful building, much nicer than mine. She lives on the thirteenth floor of her apartment complex, Room 1366. She really has a wonderful home and her bedroom window overlooks the city skyline. It's such a beautiful sight, it really is. Trust me, I've seen it.
I haven't worked up the courage to talk to Emily yet. She doesn't even know I my name. But she does pass by my cubicle every day, at exactly 2:32 p.m., to go to the restroom. Honestly, I'm not crazy, but Emily stares at me whenever she walks by. In the brief five seconds she walks by, she glances at me with lustful eyes. She must be in love with me as well. We're two peas in a pod, you know? Her heart must beat for me, as mine does for her.
The time was 2:20p.m., September, thirty first, 2001, exactly twelve minutes before Emily makes her daily routine bathroom break. I had planned to finally confront Emily about our romantic tension today. Maybe, we can stop playing this staring game and move into a real relationship. I peek above my cubicle partition to see if she was getting up, but all I could see were the bad hairdos of all my co-workers and the lovely grid pattern of our cubicles. I sat back down in my perfect six-by -six cubicle with its beautifully normal grey walls and the mountains of paperwork to my left. Unlike my apartment, my cubicle is perfectly organized. The cubicle is graced with the aroma of freshly printed documents. Nothing is out of place. The staples are all neatly stored in their box inside the top right drawer. The stapler is placed at a forty-five degree, so my hand doesn't have to struggle when I reach for it. I simply wanted my office space to be the prime example of a normal, working man's cubicle. It was my own little slice of heaven. Sweet, perfect, normality.
I checked the clock again. All I can think about were the precious seconds Emily used to walk past my cubicle. I haven't been this nervous in quite a long time. My stomach feels like ribbons, my hands are drenched with sweat, my lips wet from the salivation of excitement. My head pounded with the sound of reverberating drum beats. This is the feeling of love, I just know it. The time is 2:31p.m., just a single minute away from seeing Emily's beautiful figure grace its way through these lovely halls. I peek above my cubicle once more. Drum beats sound in my head once more.
It's exactly 2:32p.m. and I can see her gorgeous black hair radiate the room. Today is the day, I said. Over and over inside my head like a broken record.
Today was the day.
Today is the day.
Today.
Today, she'll know just how perfect we are for each other. I'll expose her love for me. My face clenches up, putting on the best smile it could muster. I check myself in the small mirror to my right. I see an image fit to be her boyfriend. I see her pass by my cubicle taking such small, yet graceful steps. Tremors dance their way throughout my hands and chest.
She briefly turns her head towards me with the same stare she always has. Her eyes meet mine and I knew it was the time. I whispered to myself:
"Get up
Get the fuck up!
PLEASE!
GET UP!
COME ON!
John, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
It was too late. I turn around and watched her pass me with a look of sadness on her face. She wanted me to say something. She wanted me to make her my queen.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!"
The sound of my voice echoed across the building. I felt every bit of air from my body exit out of my mouth. I was standing in the middle of my cubicle, trying to catch my breath. The office was silent, shocked at my display of frustration. One after another, they rose up out of their seats and turned their heads toward my direction. Each had glancing at me with their hollow judgmental eyes. I wanted to tear their fucking eyes out. All I could see is jealousy radiating from their bodies, they were angry that Emily was mine for the taking. Millions of eyes all begin to simultaneously focus their glare towards me. The longer they stare, the faster my heart races. I can hear their whispers and their smirk little comments.
They're looking at me as if I'm crazy. Honestly, I'm not crazy! More eyes fixate on me. It feels as if my heart is ready to burst through my sternum leaving entrails scattered across the office floor. I'm not crazy, I'm just like all of them. I'm just as normal as all of you. Why do they stare at me like I'm insane?
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT?!"
Their eyes quickly turn away from me. My heart begins to slow down. I'm calm. I'm normal. I'm fine. I sit back down and notice Emily exiting the restroom and walking back towards back her cubicle. This time I'll do it. My face clenches up once more, putting on an even better smile than before. I check myself in the mirror just in case the yelling messed my hair up. Nope, still an image of the perfect, normal boyfriend. Once again, she turns her head towards me and stares into my eyes, smiling and waiting for me to make my move. Come on John, you can do it. Move. Say something. You'll miss your chance. MOVE!
"Emily!"
"Yes?" she asked, quickly turning towards me.
The tone of her voice sounded so welcoming, so loving, so accepting. She's perfect for a normal guy like me. My body felt the need to leap towards her and kiss her so tenderly.
"Would you like to grab some lunch with me in a few minutes? We go to the same place every day and we wouldn't be so lonely if we're eating together. Right?"
She looked at me with a face of confusion but she soon realized that this was my way of asking her on a date. A smile emerges from the cracks of her beautiful pale skin.
"Sure." She said, quickly walking back towards her cubicle.
I can tell she's smiling right now. Her body must be feeling adrenaline coursing through her veins as well. She's probably imagining the wonderful evening we're going to have. How we will both order the same burger, remove the pickles, and place it on the same napkin. How it will end in a kiss as I walk her towards the office building. How later that night we're going to make love and proclaim our feelings for each other.
Hours go by and all I can feel is the anxiousness setting in. My knees are shaking, violently rocking my desk up and down. My hands are trembling so quickly that not even vice gripping my leg could stop either of these movements. All I could do was watch the clock tick the irrelevant seconds away. But this is all I could do. Wait. Wait for her to get up and exit the building. That's it.
She must be feeling this way too, right? Her hands, her knees, her heart must all be nervously dancing to the beat of our future together. I know she can't wait either, I just know it. Our connection, our normality, our love, they binds our actions and our thoughts. I will wait for you to leave, as any normal man should. I peek over my cubicle and notice Emily grabbing her purse. She gets up and makes her way towards the exit. My eyes follow her path, waiting for her to turn to me with her dull, dazzling dark brown eyes and tell me to follow her. She's only just a few steps away. I stare at her beautiful, pale face once again, waiting for her signal. Two more steps. One.
Emily! Look at me! Emily! Emily! LOOK AT ME! YOU FUCKING CUNT!
She passes me and makes her way towards the door. She must have forgotten that I was coming along. I stare at her once again and notice that she fumbled her keys and bent over to pick them up. Was this her signal? Was this her promiscuous way of telling me to follow her? I can tell that the gesture was for me and me alone. This was her way, her method of catching my attention.
I get up and make my way to the door as well, taking quiet steps so Emily wouldn't assume that I'm desperate to be next to her. Just walk normal John. Slowly. Just the right distance behind her for her to notice my presence, but not close enough for her to pay it any mind.
I turn my head for a quick second and I notice the J.J.'s across the street. It's neon blue sign illuminating the place where and I shall speak of our love. I turn back to Emily, watching the way her hips move in tiny unnoticeable motions. She's at the stoplight, not too far ahead of me. I wanted to maintain my distance, so I hid behind the entrance of a coffee shop just a few feet away. I could tell that she knew I was behind her. She started to grip her purse tighter out of anxiousness and excitement. Her breathing became a little faster paced due to the nervousness. I'll comfort you Emily. I'll take care of you.
I peek my head out of the corner just a little and notice that she was getting on the bus she takes home. She smiles in my direction, right as she boards the bus and proceeds to take her seat at the rear. I knew what this meant. She wanted me to be with her and follow her to her apartment with the beautiful view, into her bedroom with her white satin sheets and soft pillows that I've placed my naked body once upon a time. An act that I've dreamed of doing simultaneously with Emily on plenty of occasions.
I snap myself out of my fantasy and run towards the bus to catch up to her. I pay the fare and still kept my distance. I stood in the front while she rested in the back, enchanting me with her eyes of lust and love. She turns her head in a way to send me a message. A message that's saying that she can't contain her emotions. Me too, Emily. Soon, we'll be together alone as any normal couple should be. My eyes are still fixated on Emily. Hers are glancing out the window watching the scenery go by. The bus stops a few times letting the insignificant people off. It would have been better if I threw them into oncoming traffic. One by one, they stepped off the bus and each time blocking my view of her. I take my eyes off of her for a minute and stare at the rear view mirror that reflected back at me. I smile and fix my tie, dusting off any debris left on me by people passing me by. I wanted to look as nice as possible. I wanted to look as normal as I possibly could for her. I brush my hair off to the side, smile once more and turn back to her.
She was getting up, ready to leave. I noticed her hand she gripping the center bar with such eagerness. She turns back at me once more and quickly exits the bus. I get off a few seconds after and saw her walking faster towards her apartment building. She looked in a hurry, same as I, excited to seal our love with flesh. Her breathing has grew louder, as did mine. Her paces have sped up, as did mine. Her hands shook more and more, as did mine. She constantly turned back with a smile on her face. Her eyes filled with temptation and love. I chased her to heart's content. She hurried into the building and ran for the elevator, pressing the button to make her way up the building. She turned to me and as I stared directly into her eyes, I froze. For the first time, I froze.
The doors of the elevator shut and I was left standing still. I calmed myself and entered the next elevator. It was probably best that I didn't get on the elevator with her, things would have started too early. The music elevator music only made me more eager. I've lost the patience I've been storing within myself. It feels like an eternity, waiting inside this iron cell. Floor after floor passed until finally arriving at the thirteenth floor.
The elevator doors slid open and I could see that Emily was by her door. I hear the sound of her heavy heartbeats and she shifted through her purse to get her keys. I waited in the hall corridor, biding my time. I knew that Emily noticed me because she was staring right at me. She looked for those keys even faster, alternating her gaze between me and her purse. I could hear her squeals of joy. So I ran. I ran towards her as fast as I could. She was only down the hall not more than twenty steps away.
Her door violently swings open and she runs in. She tried to close the door shut but I managed to force it open. She was such a tease, laughing as I entered the room. Her screams of happiness fill her apartment. I shut the door behind me and chase after her. The adrenaline in my system was too much.
I slammed her back against the wall, wrapping my hands around throat, and started to kiss her passionately. Her arms flailing as I tore her clothes off. Piece by piece. Her muffled screams of ecstasy only grew louder as each article of clothing was sliced off. I swung her light body onto the bed and pinned her arms down. I kissed every portion of her body, squeezing her limbs so she wouldn't escape from the pleasure I was serving her.
I could tell she couldn't wait for it anymore. I licked her naked body once more then pierced her flesh. Penetrating the pink matter that rested within her over and over. Each thrust was just another symbol of our love. She screamed more after each thrust. Louder after each movement of my body. The color of her red lipstick dyed my body as she kissed me all over. She gave into the ecstasy and just laid there perfectly still. I was out of breathe. Adrenaline was still pumping through my system.
I stood above her and turned her head towards me. Her body was still warm. Her eyes open, staring directly into mine. I kissed her on the forehead and let her rest. I cleaned up the place while she recovered. I threw her clothes still covered in her red lipstick into the bathroom. I wiped down every area we made love in. I looked at her once more and smiled at her beauty. I stare out her window and admire the view I've seen many times alone. But now I can share this view with her with her in the bed, sleeping. Resting her perfect self. I turn and stare at her once more, kiss her now colorless lips and make my way out of her apartment.
Honestly, I'm not insane. I promise you that I'm not. I'm as normal as anyone could possibly be. I was born into the most normal family anyone can imagine. I live in a standard apartment containing the average messes of any single man. I work at a local tax firm called Norm & Al's Tax Office across the street from J.J.'s Diner, where I always go for my lunch break. I always order a cheeseburger with a side of fries and a Coke. I'm just living life as normal as I possibly can. I'm no different from anyone else. So how can I possibly be insane? My name is John Xavier Scott.
However, I am in love with named Emily Walters and she is in love with me. As I make my way down the elevator, through the crowded lobby, passed the sliding glass door, and out of her building; I think of her beautiful, sleeping body. I take one more glance at her bedroom window, I reach into my pocket, and smile with the knowledge that her heart is now mine.
Forever.