**************HELLO FELLOW FANS. THIS IS CARL ONCE AGAIN, I'M IN A WRITING MOOD AT THE MOMENT, DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA. I REALLY NEED A PAIR OF READING GLASSES IF YOU HAVE ANY. MY BLUE TYPEWRITER IS STARTING TO BLEND IN WITH THE WATER. THIS IS MADNESS! PLEASE PLEASE SEND GLASSES! IN A BOTTLE OR SOMETHING, BUT SERIOUSLY, I NEED GLASSES BADLY. ANYWHO, MAEGAN AND ALLISON HELPED ME WRITE THIS. BUT I DID MOST OF THE WORK SO WHATEVER. BYE.********************
The giant firetruck jumped off the skyscraper and landed in my bowl of potato salad. I screamed in horror and threw my shoes at my granny. I puked in the bowl and screamed at the sky. A hobo in a fairy outfit ran up and bit my big toe and giggled then ran off.
While i stared in amazement, my pelican, Henry, leaped from his aquatic world and ate all of my walnuts. Being the burglar that I am, I sprang upwards in a ninjalike action. HENRY YOU FREAKING TURD!!!
All of the peanuts attacked me. I ate five and spit them at the chandelier apparently, my dinner guests didn't think that was very appropreate. To make sure they wouldn't think about that, I decided to do something even worse. I jumped onto the table and kicked everyone's plates off. I pulled out my ipod and started dancing. To top it off, I swung on the chandelier and made sure I kicked everyone's hat off their heads. When I was done, I grabbed all the hats and shoved them into a tiny mousetrap for the dog to eat later.
Instead of listening to my grandfather's wisdom, I dived head first into the giant sky, and ate the first lamb I saw. It screamed like a fish before I finally floated BACK TO earth, landing on top of the president's face. He smiled at me, and gave my little airplane twirly hat at great spin, before he left on his parade of crime-fighting pony army. Before anyone noticed I was gone from my dinner party, I hitch hiked backwards on a llama that once belonged to our nieghborly homeless freak named Jose.
SKIPPY DOO LOST MY FAVORITE SANDWICH. THE FREAKIN GUPPY SWAM AWAY WITH IT AND THREATENED TO TAKE AWAY MY BRAND NEW HAM. I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY SHOES AND I JUMPED INTO THE FISHTANK AFTER GUPPY. I GOT STUCK IN THE PINK PLASTIC CASTLE.
LEAVING BEHIND ALL THE THINGS I LOVED, I BROKE FREE OF THE MONSTEROUSLY SHINY PINK FISH CASTLE, PRAYING FOR SURVIVAL. NOT A LAMP STOOD IN MY WAY, AND EVEN WHEN I MADE GIRLISH WHINING SOUNDS, NO FISH DARED ATTACK MEEE. BEING THE AWESOME NINJA THAT I AM, I MADE AN ARMY CRY AND BURST ALL THE GLASS AND WAS FREED FROM THE HORRORS OF OUR FAMILY FISH.
The green tuna can laughed at my armpit. "WHY DO YOU KEEP STALKING ME?" At this moment I forgot I was in school. Everyone stared at me. I stood up and stared at the tuna can on my desk. "GO HOME NEVER COME BACK!" I threw it at the wall and it floated over and sat on my head. I put it in my head and stared into its googly-eyes. It grew a little mouth and screamed. "NO JOHNNY! I LOVE YOU!" 'WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???????" I stood on top of my desk and the desk broke and I fell. The tuna can laughed and knocked the teacher out. It sat on the teacher's chair and put on a tie. "I AM YOUR TEACHER JOHNNY! NOW LOVE ME!"
"NEVVERR!!" I screamed. My evil twin jumped over the carpet door, and ate an apple turnover. More idiots stared at me, slowly eating away at a jumble of grapelike foods. Even the fish mocked me. WHILE I SAT THERE, A KID NAME MARIO BEGAN HITTING MY FACE WITH A GIRRAFE. IT MADE MY STOMACH PUKE. I WATCHED THE SKY CHANGE FROM GREEN TO APRICOT WHILE MORE CUPCAKES CAME MY WAY. NOBODY WAS ALLOWED ACCESS TO MY MARCH TO FREEDOM, AND I LAUGHED WITH MY GUMMY BEAR FRIENDS.
I'M DONE. BYE.
