Lonely, Impatient, and a Bit Insecure (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 1

Harry Styles, to anyone watching him, was a normal 19 year old. He had tattoos littering his body and enjoyed the occasional indie concert.

He didn’t have a job, he lived with his mum, and had no idea what he was going to do with his life. He would’ve spent all his time in his room, considering he had no friends or anywhere to go. He liked to paint, to get his feelings out by running his brush over the canvas in the safety of his room.

He never really had friends when he was in school, and he knew he was different. He tried not to let it bother him, but he couldn’t help but be sad. It was hard being alone.

His mum urged him to get out more, so he made a ritual of going to his local coffee shop every morning to drink his tea and use his laptop. The employees knew him, they didn’t suspect a thing.

But he had a secret. Something he’d never told anyone.

He liked to think it was normal, but he knew it really wasn’t.

It all started one day when he was 18, when he stumbled upon Ralph Lauren’s website while he was in the coffee shop. His mum was pestering him to get nice clothes for her wedding, and he’d finally caved.

As he scrolled absent mindedly through what seemed to be an endless array of many different colored polos, something caught his eye. Or, someone, that is.

He remembered how his heart skipped, and he swore that the man’s eyes were staring into his soul through the screen. They were deep and blue and mysterious and it made him want to melt into the screen with him. And he found himself clicking the button to add the polo to his cart, hoping there was some way this man would show up on his doorstep.

He’d searched Ralph Lauren’s website the rest of the day, finding more pictures of the mysterious model. He couldn’t find his name anywhere, he only knew him by his beautiful face. Until the coffee shop closed, and he was forced to return home, his head swimming with pictures of him.

Looking at all the pictures made him more aware of his breathtaking features, the way his thin pink lips either curled into a smile, or sat in a straight line. The way his eyebrows arched perfectly under the feathery hair swooping over his forehead. He found himself wondering if his skin was as smooth as it appeared. Looking at him made all the sadness go away, and he felt like he knew this man.

He knew the man’s face so well, he’d go home and paint pictures of him. His room was filled with portraits upon portraits. He just couldn’t capture his beauty, but it was enough to hold him over until the coffee shop opened in the morning.

And now, a year later, Harry sat in his usual table in the back corner of the coffee shop, searching desperately on Google for the man’s name. He only saw him on the Ralph Lauren website, his name was nowhere. He groaned in frustration and raked a hand through his hair, letting his head fall to the table with a thump.

He knew it was more than ridiculous to be in love with some model on a website, but he was.  He knew people thought he was weird, and whispered when they thought he couldn’t hear. But he didn’t mind.

He was interrupted when a cup of tea was set on the table next to him. He lifted his head and mumbled a thank you before picking up the glass to sip at it. He’d grown farther apart from his mother because of this man, he’d pushed away anyone who wanted to be friends because that meant less time in the coffee shop. He was infatuated, obsessed.

His eyes scanned the shop as he drank his tea, wondering how else he could find him.

The little bell on the door rang as it opened, and someone came in, pulling a gust of cool London air in with them. Harry watched curiously as the man pulled his scarf away from his face, and removed his hat to shove it into his pocket. His collar was still popped up, and he couldn’t see the guy’s face.

He turned back to his laptop with a sigh, setting his mug down as he stared back at the man behind the screen.

“Is this seat taken?” He heard a voice ask somewhere next to him. He shook his head, but kept his eyes fixated on the screen, scrolling through the pictures as he picked up his mug to sip at the tea again. He heard the chair scraping against the floor and heard the man sit down next to him.

“I’m Louis.” The voice said again, and he mumbled back ‘I’m Harry’. He wished the guy would just leave him alone, he was deep in thought.

Finally, the guy shut up and let him think in peace. He knew he was staring at his laptop screen, but he didn’t care. He needed to think.

“Hey, that’s me.”

Harry turned from his computer screen to the man next to him. He was met by a pair of all too familiar eyes, ones swimming with mystery and mischief. His breath caught in his throat and his mug clattered to the table, spilling his tea all over the table.

Louis. His name was Louis.

He kept his eyes glued to Louis as he rambled on about how sorry he was, mopping up the tea with his napkin.

“I-It’s okay.” Harry stuttered, still not taking his eyes off of Louis.

Louis looked up from the table to see Harry staring at him. He flashed a smile, revealing a row of white teeth. Harry swallowed nervously and turned to his laptop, switching the tab so it wasn’t on Louis anymore.

“I loved that shoot.” Louis commented, gesturing to the computer screen as he drank his coffee. So much for breaking the awkward silence.

Harry was still shocked, and he just stared at the blank tab on his computer screen. He couldn’t even bring himself to form words. The man he’d been searching for for the past year was sitting next to him. Talking to him. Living. Breathing. He was real.

Louis hummed to fill the awkward silence as he finished off his coffee. “Well it was nice meeting you Harry.” He said, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“You too.” Harry said back, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t say anything he’d regret.

Louis got up to leave, leaving money for both Harry and his drinks. He started walking towards the door, Harry’s eyes still fixed on him.

What was he doing? What if he never saw him again?

“Louis, wait!” He called across the shop, jumping up from his chair to run over to the door. Louis stopped, and turned to look at him.

“Yes?” Louis asked, his lips turning up into a smirk.

“D-do you want to.. go for coffee sometime?” He asked, his cheeks turning pink as he shoved his hands in his pockets so they’d stop shaking.

Louis’ smirk turned into a wide smile and he reached into his pocket to pull out a business card. He handed it to Harry. “Sure. Give me a call sometime.” He said and turned to the door, swiftly walking out.

Harry stared down at the card in his hand. Louis Tomlinson, it read. Model. He smiled down at it like an idiot, only moving when some guy needed to get out the door. This man was real, and even more beautiful in person. And he was going for coffee with him.

It took 365 days, countless cups of tea, hours of scrolling through websites, and he finally found him.

And for once, he didn’t feel so alone.

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