Blake has been so supportive and caring, comforting. I just wish he didn't have to leave so often. Sometimes I wish we had a normal life but I guess that's me being selfish again. It's not everyday someone gets their dream job like Blake. As long as he's happy I'm happy. I just miss him is all. I can't wait for the off season, even though the season just started. My phone rings cutting me off from my train of thought. I get out of the comfortable bed and grab my phone off of the dresser. "Hello?"
"Aaliyah." I hear my moms voice. It makes me want cry. I so badly want to be home right now. I know I can count on mom to make it better. "Hey." I try not to break.
"What are you doing?" She asks.
"I'm just laying down in bed right now."
"It's the afternoon."
"I'm well aware of that mother."
"I'm just saying. So, How'd the appointment go? How is baby? I've been trying to call for awhile now. It kept going to voicemail."
"There's... There's no more baby."
"What? What do you mean?"
"I had a miscarriage."
"Oh, no. Aaliyah. I'm so sorry."
"I don't know what I did wrong. I tried-- I tried to do everything right."
"It's not your fault baby. Don't blame yourself. Stuff like this happens. I'm sorry it had to happen to you. I wish I could be there for you right now. I can only imagine what you're going through and how you're feeling."
"I wish you were here too."
"Where's Blake?"
"At an away game in Phoenix."
"There's no one there with you right now?"
"No, Jess is coming over later."
"Oh ok. Good. I don't want you to be alone. What are your plans now?"
"I don't know. Move on. I mean that's all we can do."
"Are you guys planning on trying again?"
"We talked about it. I'm not sure how long we have to wait before we can."
"Ask your doctor."
"I'm not sure if I want to. Ford is enough for me really. Even though he ain't mine, he might as well be. And I got all my nieces and nephews. That's all I need."
"Why don't you want to try again? Don't let this keep you from trying again."
"What if it's always going to be the same outcome? What if I can't have kids? I don't want to go through this pain again." I cry. "I was just so excited. Excited that I was going to have a baby with the love of my life. Excited to pick out names and baby clothes. Hell, I was even excited for labor pains. I was excited for it all, but that's all gone now. I don't think I'll try again. I'm just going to get back on birth control."
"Just.. Try again, Aaliyah. Talk to your doctor. Have her look into it to see if you can or not."
"I'll think about it."
"I'm sorry, Aaliyah. Feel better soon. I have to get going. I'll call tomorrow, so answer. Don't send me to voicemail either."
