Broken

My life has always been a climb.
The memories haunt me,
The words as cruel as blades,
Me crying myself to sleep,

Me wanting to die.
There's so much more.
What did I ever do wrong?
Why do I have to hear my mother cry?

Why can't I just die?
The pain is so strong.
Will it ever fly,
Fly away until I can never see it again.

That would be a sight.
I've been in the rain for nine years now.
Will it ever end?
Will the creatures ever leave?

I get haunted.
Haunted until I cry.
The pain messing with my mind.
I'm going crazy.

I just want to flee from here,
But I can't.
I can't leave my family,
No matter how many close calls I've had.

Sometimes I just want to grab a bunch of pills,
And stare at them.
Then swallow,
Then black out and vanish.

I battle myself for my family.
I can't do this to them.
I love 'em with all my heart.
Even if it's broken and twisted.

Sometimes I wonder...
Wonder if it will finally just break.
I mean it has to sometime, right?
Crack. Crack. Crack.